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I want to die or commit suicide so bad... I had an account on a suicide forum but my parents blocked the website. Can anyone help me?

N

njmisdesperate

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Jan 29, 2021
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so my parent's blocked almost all website pertaining to depression or suicide. But, i have severe depression and probable BPD, so I want to commit suicide. Taking your own life is really hard, but sometimes i feel it's the only way out. Other times, when i'm watching netflix it's not so bad. Can anyone here help me?
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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welcome x are you in any kind of therapy or do you receive any medical help? i think you need some
do you mind me asking how old you are? x
 
W

WhySoSerious

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Firstly Hi!

I'm curious as to what "help" would look like to you? Have you ever had any therapy before?
If you have a straight depression then I would consult a doctor to maybe look at prescribing something. It may take a moderate to high dose of an anti-depressant to start shifting this feeling. You are obviously suffering so that would be the first step I would say.

In terms of what you can do:

Focus on getting good sleep, eating right, avoiding alcohol/drugs (or gently reducing if you are using to excess, seek medical advice if this is a problem), manage pain and other physical health problems.

Behaviourally activate - in other words get up and going even if it is deeply painful to do so. This is a key tenant of cognitive behavioural techniques and is meant to build momentum and energy. This is NOT easy, I won't lie. But if you have a tendency to avoid things or lay in bed ruminating, getting up and active is a HUGE step toward feeling better.

Has anyone mentioned BPD to you before? What makes you feel that?
 
TiredTina

TiredTina

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If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
 
HLon99

HLon99

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Its probably for the best that you don't have access to these websites; the last thing you need right now is to immerse youself into that which will likely trigger your negative thoughts. If you have any active thought of harming yourself, please reach out to a trusted family member or contact a crisis line. I wish I could do more to help you, but it sounds like you need some professional help. As someone who has struggled with depression and some dark thoughts, all I can say is that although things seem bad right now, life does gets better. With the right help, you will come out of the other end of this. And when you do, eventually you'll be able to put all this behind you.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi,
We have many members here who have bpd and depression, really suicide isn't the answer.
Please don't go on pro suicide sites/forums, it will not help you.
Are you taking any treatment? Had any therapy?
I know it's hard when you feel low, please keep fighting.
Do seek professional help.
Hugs
 
C

Comfort23

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Jan 2, 2021
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Miami, Florida USA
It makes sense to have suicidal thoughts when stressed or in pain. We get tunnel vision and it feels like the only way out. Are you in therapy? I have a Dialectical Behavior Therapy book and a DBT card deck in addition to therapy. Maybe that would help? You mentioned you feel better when watching Netflix. I'm having an issue where my thoughts keep spinning (ie. worrying, ruminating, having imaginary arguments, etc.) and this greatly worsens emotional pain and causes sleep disturbances. I'm wondering if you have that as well and if that's why distraction eases the pain? Perhaps, methods that help calm your nervous system physiologically would help too? Like TIPP skills (temperature (cold water), intense exercise, paced breathing and progressive muscle relaxation) or grounding and self soothing techniques?
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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what i'm trying to say is real life help is the best thing to try and get, online forums can only do so much

and some forums can be harmful

:hug:
 
C

celticlass

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Hey feelings come and go you know in this life. I would say quite a high proportion of the people who use this Forum know about the internal pain which gets us dwelling on those thoughts. Again not sure what age you are but I guess not yet 18. Like Midnight says you need people in the real world to help you too. Of course we will talk to you though. I am wondering if you are, for example, known to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service or CAMHS. Might have a slightly different name where you are.
 
M

Miho

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Feb 13, 2021
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what i'm trying to say is real life help is the best thing to try and get, online forums can only do so much

and some forums can be harmful

:hug:
I agree, please contact the helpline in your area. They are trained to help you.
Everybody here wishes you the best and want you to stay.
 

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