i wanna see the world when i stop breathing

[turningblue]

i dont know if this is posted to the right category

i do know that i dont really like me

after 5ish years of lying about my identity (completely pretended to be sombody else) i changed my name my accent even maybe even parts of my persona

maybe -- bc i dont even know anymore

recently i came forward to a friend abt my lies
they're a therapist so im sure theres skills there to see/walk through my decision making

i dont feel good abt what i did bc its manipulative n im sure it hurt them (in some form)

they seem to stick around.. unless i continue to lie (which i dont really want to carry the charade anymore)

but that leads me here to the parts of me i havent been honest abt

im ugly
im ugly
terrible
evil person i am

 

[stygianiron222]

ok, you are NOT a bad person. i dont really know for sure, but it sounds like maybe a cluster b disorder. i think you shoudl talk to this friend and explain to them how ur feeling. just remember you are NOT EVIL and ur really brave for reaching out and being honest.

 

[JeanPierre]

So welcome here. Pretty sure you are not evil. Glad you are reaching out.