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i truly hate my life more than anything else

Tawny

Tawny

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Nov 10, 2019
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England
don't feel bad
i'm surviving the worst of hells for the possibility that i might survive long enough to escape
IF i survive which i don't care, i'm ready to do my worst since i don't have nothing to lose
Ready to do your worst? What do you mean by that?
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Nothing Much to say, numbness is too extreme



I'm surviving with all I can
The Fucking is progressing painfully slow
I'm always ready of doing a genocide with all those criminals, inhuman scumbags I 've been surrounded by for decades in this hellish fate worst than death

In case i didn't make it, i didn't make it; don't matter; i don't care about dying as long as i get to kill them all.



i hate this hellish fate worse than death
Have certain people hurt you?
 
S

Survivor64

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Joined
Jan 7, 2021
Messages
96
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brazil
Surviving so you can escape what?

the Hellish Fate worst than death i'm stuck since birth surrounded by nothing but Criminal monsters
Ready to do your worst? What do you mean by that?
it Means exactly that, i don't care about dying but will do my worst to those monsters
Have certain people hurt you?
Those Monsters already tried to kill me twice,they already tried to kill me when i was 18
 
Tawny

Tawny

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the Hellish Fate worst than death i'm stuck since birth surrounded by nothing but Criminal monsters

it Means exactly that, i don't care about dying but will do my worst to those monsters

Those Monsters already tried to kill me twice,they already tried to kill me when i was 18
Are the monsters and organisation or specific people?

It is very serious what you are saying. Are these just strong feelings of hurt and anger or intentions?

I'm sure you agree that no matter what, it is wrong to take a life.

How old are you now? Why has everything reached a peak now or have you felt like this before?

Does anyone love and care about you?

Please look after yourself. Try to rest. Try to take all of the kindness you have been given by forum members, and let it comfort you.

I am angry with certain people, furious, it is hard, a ball of fire inside but I smother it with the good things and good people.
 
S

Survivor64

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Jan 7, 2021
Messages
96
Location
brazil
You're speaking from a position that is simple and easy to say and see things that way, which is understandable and respectable since it's a matter of perspective.

Unfortunately, things never worked like that at all; this hell is much worse than one can grasp.
to the point i'm not even sure i will survive to tell how truly horrifying this hell actually is.

Anyone can judge and criticize all they want, but to no avail; I don't care.

I'm already dead inside, imprisoned in this hell for way too long to care about anything at all.

I never had absolutely nothing to lose at all, much less an actual life one could actually care about.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Please contact this service for emotional support...

Centro de Valorização da Vida (CVV | Centro de Valorização da Vida) is an emotional and suicidal prevention support NGO founded in 1962 in São Paulo, Brazil, and recognized as Federal Public Utility in 1973. It offers voluntary and free support, with all communications being confidential. Contacts can be made through the phone number 188 (available 24/7), personally (in one of the 72 centres around the country), chat (via their website), VoIP (via Skype) and e-mail.

If they're unable to support you they may be aware of other services that can help.
 
S

Survivor64

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2021
Messages
96
Location
brazil
Please contact this service for emotional support...

Centro de Valorização da Vida (CVV | Centro de Valorização da Vida) is an emotional and suicidal prevention support NGO founded in 1962 in São Paulo, Brazil, and recognized as Federal Public Utility in 1973. It offers voluntary and free support, with all communications being confidential. Contacts can be made through the phone number 188 (available 24/7), personally (in one of the 72 centres around the country), chat (via their website), VoIP (via Skype) and e-mail.

If they're unable to support you they may be aware of other services that can help.
i appreciate the offering and care to help, but unfortunately; this won't do much since

i'm already relying on this painfully slow progress to actually escape this hell, but unfortunately this disgrace of a "country" is much worst than one can think

as long as i keep surviving, the progress will keep moving on until i finally escape
 
Tawny

Tawny

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England
You're speaking from a position that is simple and easy to say and see things that way, which is understandable and respectable since it's a matter of perspective.

Unfortunately, things never worked like that at all; this hell is much worse than one can grasp.
to the point i'm not even sure i will survive to tell how truly horrifying this hell actually is.

Anyone can judge and criticize all they want, but to no avail; I don't care.

I'm already dead inside, imprisoned in this hell for way too long to care about anything at all.

I never had absolutely nothing to lose at all, much less an actual life one could actually care about.
I'm in hell it is just a different kind to you.

I'm not judging or criticising, just worried

I was dead inside too. I had nothing to lose. Life was too horrendous so I did not care about anything, especially my own life.

Things have improved slightly but it is still hell. It is private though. Not many people would understand or know.

Nothing to lose?
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Nov 10, 2019
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England
i appreciate the offering and care to help, but unfortunately; this won't do much since

i'm already relying on this painfully slow progress to actually escape this hell, but unfortunately this disgrace of a "country" is much worst than one can think

as long as i keep surviving, the progress will keep moving on until i finally escape
Are you receiving help but it is a long waiting list?
 
M

Missdamaged

Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2022
Messages
14
Location
Manchester
i appreciate the offering and care to help, but unfortunately; this won't do much since

i'm already relying on this painfully slow progress to actually escape this hell, but unfortunately this disgrace of a "country" is much worst than one can think

as long as i keep surviving, the progress will keep moving on until i finally escape
Hi,
Just seen your messages. Obviously I don't want to speculate where your living but from what you've said, I think I've painted a picture. There's nothing I can say that will truly help you, I have been depressed in my life but my worst enemy was always myself, not really those around me, it sounds like your situation may be a little different.

Helplines can help, I called one years ago when I felt suicidal, in the UK the services are good but I get its not like that in every country. Also it helps in the moment but your alone with your thoughts 24/7.

I guess this message was just checking up on you, I wish I could help somehow but really just wanted to see if things have got any better? If there is any chance you could attempt to move country, that's not easy i get it but it's hard to give advice as I don't know exactly what country your in.

Message me if you just want to talk.
 
S

Survivor64

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Joined
Jan 7, 2021
Messages
96
Location
brazil
actualizing updates

Progress is still painfully slow and I'm still suicidal, depressed and dead inside.

but surviving with my hardest drive against all the odds.

There wasn't much to say because numbness and insanity had taken over.
 
G

goodgollymiss

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Joined
Apr 6, 2017
Messages
1,016
Have been having some tasty falafels. I like small things. Maybe you could get netflix
 
G

goodgollymiss

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Apr 6, 2017
Messages
1,016
Joined a bible study. Im so rusty i cant believe that i gab too much
 
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