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I told him to leave and he has done.

D

darknight

Member
Joined
Feb 8, 2011
Messages
24
Location
Scotland, UK
Well, an online friend who i was getting upset with because every time i asked to meet him, he lied and wasnt honest that his issues were too much and he couldnt meet me, so kept getting my hopes up every time that we'd meet and he was in the end upsetting me emotionally too much so i sent a blunt pm saying fpr my benefit we should stop talking, i was upset at the time tho and then missed him cos i was lonely, now he replied and said that he was ok and that its over also basically but that i could message him about big issues if had to but was a final bye. so now im trying to convince myself that i did do the right thing for me but also im so lonely i now have npbody to talk to online let alobe any friends in person por anytone to talk to ahhh why am i like this:cry::cry: maybe i did still need him. didnt feel like it tho, he was just making me feel worse and didnt understand my issues:( not like anyone ever will or would try to.

But anyways im serioulsy considering harming, or anything right now cos i feel i so desperately need to get awat fofr abit because the web site for anxiety support etc hasnt helped me make one friend and ofc i dont deserve any so how can i say i wish i had.

nobody even bleives how i feel, not even my mum and she never has tbh. what the frig am i supposed to do, i just cant get on like this. i cant ofc spk to my mum at all and ecause we never have spokema bout feelings i cant even tell her how i feel generally and she wouldnt listen anyway but im seruously fucked up and seruously need help.

if only someone had liked me id never have got into this mess, why is there any point now. theres just not, im neer gonna be able to have relationships and considered going to a male prostitite because i cant cope with the loneliness and have to feel i matter to someone even just for 5mins. id seriously do this now, its just too much with too little understanding or care from anyone and dont know ehre to turn. even samaritans wouldnt fully understand and i felt they were my only option but i hate myself too much to call anyway let alone they dont get it at all:(.
 
W

Witts

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2011
Messages
71
Location
Berkshire
Morning Dark, (have you been for a sleep?)

I havent been 'here' long, but it certainly appears to me you could get some advice, support & even friendship on this forum.

You must be realistic though, internet friendships are just that, try not to depend on them too much. Today you are not feeling good, tomorrow just could be a little better.

Take care x
 
Pixie37

Pixie37

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 2, 2009
Messages
2,275
Location
SCOTLAND
It sounds like you're needing looking after just now not someone who is going to upset you more. Keep talking here. It really helps to talk to others who have the same condition. You deserve support so keep reaching out and be gentle with yourself.
 
J

john1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 3, 2011
Messages
850
Location
London
Loneliness is truly a painful thing, like loss it is unfortunately part of the human experience; something we all have to deal with at sometime. I understand your need for intimacy and human contact, however I would say if you can try and get centred on yourself and dare I say it love yourself. If you do not like yourself or love yourself, then how can anyone else?
The disappointment of the end of a relationship especially if there are children involved is very painful and the grief can be overwhelming.
at least that is not the case, not that I am minimising your pain. I would echo some of the comments that there are limits to online friendships, as you have found out.
As Pixie says be gentle with yourself. As a man let me assure you there are plenty of us about, the most important person in this equation is you. Nothing lasts forever and nor will the way you feel about this, please just focus on yourself and with time things will change.

Its hard with anxiety I know but if you could get involved in something in which you meet others : aerobic classes, night school courses, salsa anything that brings you in to contact with others to reduce the isolation you are feeling.
Positive thoughts
 
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