I’m sorry you have to go through this. I just wanted to say #metoo
I thought I was getting better and I am in a way. The flashbacks are less frequent and I have found some ways of dealing with them better ( my boyfriends perfume makes me feel safe so I spray it during a panic attack) but today was a bad one for me.
People in my house were arguing, not badly or anything but I was instantly transported back to when I was a kid. I feel like I can’t breathe. That the atmosphere is choking me. It is happening to me all over again. My mother is standing over me and I feel like I am going to die. But in that moment I am more afraid of living with her than dying and THAT scares me.
Right now I am afraid to go to sleep because although I know I am now an adult I am petrified that when I open my eyes she will be there.