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I think that I'm having an identity crisis (long!)

E

evenvaporwave

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2018
Messages
1
Hi! I think that I'm going through an identity crisis and I feel like maybe you could help me (somehow?)
I'm not sure whether I posted this in the right forum (sorry about that:doh:)
So... I'm still in high school and it seems like everyone knows "their place", what they're doing, how they're doing, what they like, what they don't like... I, on the other hand have no idea what's going on in my life. Up until now, I used to be that kid who is really good at English, foreign languages, history, psychology... I used to be a straight A student when it comes to this kind of subjects and the opposite when it comes to chemistry, biology, math... And now..well, the tables have turned. I got my first C and F in English and my teacher was extremely disappointed in me :( I keep getting As in math, chemistry.. I used to hate math, but this year I realised that I actually like it (quite a lot), especially algebra. I'm slightly obsessed with how I look. I used to be into k-beauty and kind of started idolising pale skin, being really thin, but I also loved the "curvy bronze goddess" look and so, one month I'd be trying to lose weight and avoid being in the sun and the next two months trying to look like Adriana Lima. I get a lot of crushes (especially celebrity crushes) and I always try to "adapt my whole lifestyle to them" (if that makes any sense). Also, when it comes to crushes, I don't know what's my "type". One month I'd be crushing on some tall, blonde, blue eyed dude, and now? Well, you know the movie gladiator, right? Yeah. But I'm not talking about the gladiator, but about the emperor (Commodus).. I find him to be soo handsome hehe. BUt something in the back of my mind is telling me that he's not really attractive. Do I find him attractive or do i think he's attractive because he's an emperor. Plus, his personality is awful but for some reason I don't seem to care about that. What the hell is happening to me??? And now I'm finding myself wanting to move to Rome wtf. Also, I'm interested in studying computer science or programming because I think that it's interesting and cool how you can make your own programs. But something in the back of my mind is telling me that I want to become a programmer just because I want the money (even though they're not really known for money (or are they??)). I'm also really good at painting, drawing and I like doing that, but I don't want to study art. I don't even know why, I just don't want to. I'm one of those people who think they were born into a wrong era, but at the same time couldn't live without their computer and phone.

tl;dr: i used to be good at certain school subjects and bad at others-the tables have turned, i get crushes on random guys (even if they have well.. not the best personality), don't know what i want to look like and how i want to act.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
evenvaporwave, Hi and :welcome: to the Forum. I don't think you should call it a crisis; identity crisis. You're in High School and still forming your persona. What you are going through is normal.
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,748
Location
Europe
It sounds pretty involving and turbulent all the same. I hope you take good care of yourself.
 
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