• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

I think my mind is deterioting

Observe

Observe

Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2015
Messages
21
Hey I'm new to this forum, but I was diagnosed with schitzophrenia (or schitzo affective depending on the doctor) in 2001. I've relasped a bunch of times, but have been fine on my meds these past 4 or 5 years. A month ago I started to feel more abnormal than usual. None of the schitzo effects but more concious of my interactions with people. I'm a bike messenger in SF and can only talk to customers for 20 seconds without it getting weird. Maybe I'm percieving into too much of their facial expressions or maybe I'm tripping. I also feel that people are more rude to me than usual. I'm also an introverted loner with really no freinds and who doesn't make freinds. My girl broke up with me a month and a half ago which was my last real freind, so I really have no one to help me focus and be a positive support system right now. I also have low EQ. Sorry to bug yall with my problems but I don't feel 100% right now.
 
Observe

Observe

Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2015
Messages
21
Nikita said:
Hello Observe:welcome:

I am sorry to hear of your difficulties at this time.I often had difficulties with percepton around other people.I also am diagnosed scizoaffective disorder and like you have had several breakdowns but not for the last 4 years.I sometimes get a kind of shock response from the feeling of aliveness and realness,or being completely in the moment when with other people.It is kind of like the fact that they are alive flesh and blood is so vivid and strong it is a complete shock, like i have been asleep and woken up to find myself completely in time or even ahead of time I am so aware and awake.This perception scares me so much I want to scream out loud at times.Or it makes me very self conscious of myself too and worried about what I might say, of embarrassing myself etc.I have to find a way to dull my perceptions and put me back to sleep to get out of the frightening experience at times.Othertimes I think if I can find a way to function while experiencing this I will have beaten the matrix and found a way to be totally alive and zen,in the moment,to truely experience life and being alive.You say you are a loner and don't have many friends whch isn't unusual and precedes this experience of being fully conscious during interactions, is that weird feeling you get a little bit of shyness, awkwardness and embarrassment do you think?Or do you have any other way to describe it?People can be rude ,facial expressions I found at times I was very sensitive they could go right through me and trigger some really unpleasant emotions in me.Try not to worry or suffer too much, you are not alone feeling this way.Being on this forum should help and you will find lots of others will come along to support you.I am here if you want to talk and i am available via PM too if you feel more comfortable that way.I wish you all the best and hopefully you will find ways to deal with this problem.I am sorry to hear you split up with your girlfriendf,maybe someone new will come along, I hope so, and i hope you can make new friends soon too!All the best.Nikitax
Thanks for those postive inspiring words. Sometimes I'm in Zen other times it's the awkwardness feeling of non-sleep which I know very well because I do alot researching on the net till the sun rises. Also you're right a little bit of shyness does arise with a quick glance in the other direction when usually I don't break a stare.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
BEASTMODEWARRIOR is so hard to change my moms mind about schizophrenia she still thinks im crazy whats wrong with her Schizophrenia Forum 3
I Mind control experiment? Schizophrenia Forum 18
M My mind is being read by third parties and this worries me a lot. Schizophrenia Forum 2
C What if schizophrenia has something to do with your spirit/higher self/soul/subconscious mind? Schizophrenia Forum 19
S Scitsophrenea comming from mind technology. Schizophrenia Forum 6
R Thought Insertion, Mind-Control, Mind-reading (Administered by a Person/Human Being) Schizophrenia Forum 6
BEASTMODEWARRIOR Im starting to realize its my mind causing all this horrible feelings today. Schizophrenia Forum 6
BEASTMODEWARRIOR Guys your Mind is the MOST Powerful thing in your Arsenal use it Schizophrenia Forum 5
gt86 Mind thinks by itself Schizophrenia Forum 32
lifecangetbetter does anyone else change their mind often? Schizophrenia Forum 12
C A Beautiful Mind: How do you feel about this portray of schizophrenia? Schizophrenia Forum 4
Sammyjames97 Always feel like im being watched by people and there reading my mind Schizophrenia Forum 42
LORD BURT I feel like my mind is being probed. Schizophrenia Forum 64
R Two people in one mind Schizophrenia Forum 14
yourethebest Nobody can read my mind. Schizophrenia Forum 3
A Mind rape Schizophrenia Forum 9
Mr.NiceGuy Are voices really an existence outside the mind? Schizophrenia Forum 7
P Mind control Schizophrenia Forum 11
Mr.NiceGuy The tailbone wagging can make you dizzy and suggests agreement with the mind Schizophrenia Forum 1
K how do you stop blasphemous thoughts from intruding into your mind Schizophrenia Forum 5
TheEagle15 Poll: Do you believe people can read your mind? Schizophrenia Forum 3
P Thoughts put in mind/mind control Schizophrenia Forum 22
P Thought broadcasting and thoughts put in mind. Schizophrenia Forum 3
Mr.NiceGuy Gyroscope proves mind of the abused loses control over an empty space authority Schizophrenia Forum 1
Funnyday Mind reading Schizophrenia Forum 5
S one of Monarch Mind Programming method Schizophrenia Forum 2
J Not Free to Insults Others in My Mind (without consequence) Schizophrenia Forum 4
S Mind reading if explained Schizophrenia Forum 1
S mind programming and sexual abuse… Schizophrenia Forum 1
I Thought Broadcasting or Mind Control Schizophrenia Forum 22
S Individual Counseling Caused My Thought Broadcasting and Mind Reading Delusions Schizophrenia Forum 9
Not_Crazy_Yet Mind fog Schizophrenia Forum 7
P The Schizophrenic Mind. Schizophrenia Forum 10
sub123 Inner Dialogue/Brain chatter/Mind talk Schizophrenia Forum 14
cpuusage A beautiful mind Schizophrenia Forum 2
J Have You Seen "A Beautiful Mind?" Schizophrenia Forum 8
P Mind control is horrifying. Schizophrenia Forum 1
cpuusage Fear and Extreme States of Mind Schizophrenia Forum 1
I Is she part of some kind of hive mind? Schizophrenia Forum 11
I People reading my mind | Thought broadcasting | Targeted individual | Inception | Truman Show Schizophrenia Forum 187
T Has anyone had a mind befriender Schizophrenia Forum 6
A My mind is messed up Schizophrenia Forum 1
Linda1989 Healthy Gut, Healthy Mind: Foods to Improve Mental Health Schizophrenia Forum 2
R mind group tomorrow Schizophrenia Forum 6
cpuusage Enter The Mind Of A Schizophrenic With Art Made By People With The Disease Schizophrenia Forum 15
R mind interview Schizophrenia Forum 40
Not_Crazy_Yet Losing my mind Schizophrenia Forum 1
telekinesis any good movies out there about schizophrenia? i have seen Pi and a beautiful mind. Schizophrenia Forum 1
S Psychosis - A Dream - Like State Of Mind? Schizophrenia Forum 1
fazza Can't listen to music as i get messages inplanted in my mind Schizophrenia Forum 12

Similar threads

Top