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I Think My Friend Is Self Harming, but I'm Not Sure What To Do

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goldenretrievers37

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2017
Messages
2
Hi.
One of my closer friends was talking to me tonight. She mentioned that she was depressed and I didn't think much of it at first as she is usually pretty humorous and open about her depression/bad days. However, I realized that this was different when she pulled up her sweatshirt sleeve to show me a small mark on her arm. I was confused as it didn't look much like a self harm injury, but she had just said "I'm over the edge" while talking about depression so I believe that she was implying that she is indeed self harming. At this point, I had to leave so I didn't really get to finish my conversation with her. This has left me with a lot of questions. She jokes about depression and suicide quite a lot, it is just part of her humor. I didn't think anything was actually wrong. Therefore I am very confused as to how to deal with this. I used to be a self harmer when I went through depression in middle school so I do understand depression, but I never told anyone about it as it was too embarrassing for me. Because this is part of my friend's humor, and she is extremely open about it, I just feel weird about it. I don't think she has told anyone else, so maybe she just trusts me.
This post is probably a mess, and I'm sorry, but I hope this makes sense to you and that you might have some advice for me.

Thanks much,
goldenretreivers37
 
T

tomghanini2

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2015
Messages
1,596
Location
England
She didn't come right out and tell u she was SHing or was contemplating suicide, so how about... Wait is she a she or a he (darn mobile). Anyway, how about buying them a teddy bear and present it to them with a "hey, you know I'm here for you if you need someone, right?!" card.
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
6,868
Location
Teesside
I think just by being a friend to her and watching out for the subtle clues is enough for now. I wouldnt try and push her into admitting anything right now. She may open up more as time goes by, however if you feel that she is getting more reckless or erratic then i would approach her and ask her directly. You need to know she is going to be safe.
Sometimes the people that joke about it are the ones that are hurting the most.
Stick by her, your being a great friend.
Hugs
Fox
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
2,290
Location
USA
I personally think that if she showed you her arm she's wanting you to talk about it with her,like maybe it was her way of reaching out to show you how much inner pain she's struggling with.
 
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