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i think my depression and isolation made me abusive and apathetic.

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Capicorncolumbine666

Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Indianapolis
so...a lot friends of have been cutting me off, i've been cutting a lot of people off. a lot ex friends of mine criticize me for being abusive. saying things like
"you keep threatening suicide and blowing up my phone"
"you're manipulative"
"all i wanted to do was be your friend and you just start insulting me"

I don't know if i'm going crazy or if everyone is gaslighting me. this shit has been happening to me for a year but now that i think about it, i'm kinda abusive. when my friend blocked me for sending her "too many texts" i called her racial slurs, insults, horrible things, and sent a photo of me self harming and telling her what she made me do to myself. and after that she sent me a photo of her self harming and said "why did you hurt me" and said she was going to the police for harassment and that she's suicidal. i also started attacking her girlfriend just to ruin life even more. And i was really happy bc i thought she deserved it.(she did kinda deserve it) but i got her to become friends again and now i feel like garbage for doing and i feel like i'm very abusive and i only have empathy for people that wanna be around and care about me. i think my depression and isolation really fucked me up. idk, idk if i ever really ever knew how to treat people. i don't know if me feeling alone feeling like that person is gonna leave me just comes from me being depressed, i don't even know i'm the actual problem. to me it's everyone else but i'm actually starting to question myself wtf is wrong with me?
 
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Capicorncolumbine666

Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Indianapolis
i need some advice. seriously, almost all of my friends cut me off. and high school is over for me, so it's a lot harder to be around people. my life fucking sucks. i don't want this to keep happening to me
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
3,607
Location
UK
Hi.

Would you like to spend your time and energy on someone who abuses you - yes or no?

If you're turning on people, throwing rages and being vengeful then everybody is going to steer clear of you - nobody welcomes that level of negativity and pain into their lives.

It sounds as if you haven't learnt to take responsibility for yourself - you're making everything wrong in your life somebody else's problem. Why would you send a friend photos of you self-harming and blame them for it? Similarly, on another thread here, you're threatening suicide because nobody has responded to your post yet.

There's a very simple old adage - "You need to be a friend to have friends."

Try and get some support over your depression and anger issues and start being accountable for how you treat people. That's the first step.
 
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