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I think i'm in serious denial about my mental health

D

Darren1234

Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Flimwell
Hi everyone

I'm a bit new to this so bear with me and this is not easy. I started experiencing problems about 12 years ago, unsurprisingly at the same time I started experimenting in drugs and drink an experience which has led to me basically becoming a full blown alcoholic and sometime drug addict.

Basically this has left me with some paranoia, anxiety, self doubt and depression. Which only got worse as my alcoholism deepened. I became extremely reclusive. I think I've been in denial about the seriousness of these I've always had a complete terror about getting a mental illness even as a child which no doubt exacerbated the symptoms. I've been extremely suspicious of mental health professionals though I have seen a few psychologists but I'm terrified they'll lock me up or stop me from driving or stuff like that.

I've been diagnosed with depression and possible bpd. What even is bpd? Could it just be the drink and drugs? That's what I've always told myself. I've had some serious trauma in my life most bought about by drinking could that be the underlying cause. I had a seriously traumatic experience about 8 months ago and all these symptoms exacerbated 10 fold. Could it be ptsd? Psychosis from drinking? I've been burying my head in the sand to the point that I'm in serious danger of ruining my life and basically ending up as a self fulfilling prophecy.

I don't know where I was going with this but I'm at my wits end. I am utterly utterly sick of it. I just thought I would have a ramble any thoughts, feedback and advice would be appreciated

Thanks
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
52,602
Location
Lancashire
Welcome to the forum. You sound as though you have been seriously through the ringer. We have a BPD section and you might find out more about your potential condition there. I realise that people are afraid of MH services but they don't put people in hospital much as there aren't enough spaces. Your driving licence is another matter mind.

If you wish to open up more then feel free, we are here to listen.
 
D

Darren1234

Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Flimwell
Welcome to the forum. You sound as though you have been seriously through the ringer. We have a BPD section and you might find out more about your potential condition there. I realise that people are afraid of MH services but they don't put people in hospital much as there aren't enough spaces. Your driving licence is another matter mind.

If you wish to open up more then feel free, we are here to listen.
Hey
Thanks for getting back to me. Yeah it's not been fun. I think its ruined me a little bit and a lot of the people that care about me though I surprised theres any left to be honest. And yeah I'll check out that BDP section
Cheers
 
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