I think I'm depressed

[rubberduck]

Hi

Knew here, not sure if this is the right place for this. I'm having a rough time lately and have been really down, in Jan i was super down and actually depressed (i think, i didnt go to the doctor) but now i am starting to get depressed again, crying a lot, simple things seem so hard to do, hard to think, cant rationalise and i just want to take a od and die right now.

Just wanting some advice? not really got many friends to talk to, and dont want to discuss this with them anyway. most my 'closer' friends, the whole 2 i only had i have pushed away cos i felt like i meant nothing to them and they were just using me when they wanted me around and so the world is pretty lonely. i dont know how i got to this, i dont even know if i truely want to get out of it or just for my life to end, cant face carrying on if every now and then i am going to go through this. i hate my life, all i do is work, but i have no friends to enable me to go out and try have fun to get me happier again.

i dont want to go to the doctor, im sure she already thinks im insane and its that whole admitting to it and being diagnosed as depressed and i really really do not want to take antidepressants. just wondering if anyone on here has any suggestions on what i can do please?

 

[rubberduck]

not sure how to edit my post but im just so confused, im just looking up the best ways to die, howmuch is needed to od. i dont think life is for me. it will never change, this is the way it is just meant to be for me

 

[DELATEXT]

HI

HI RUBBER DUCK, PLEASE DO NOT HURT YOURSELF,
JUST NOW EVERYTHING SEEMS BLEAK AND HOPELESS ??
CAN YOU TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL??
CAN YOU SEE YOUR DOCTOR ???
PLEASE GET HELP TO SEE YOU THROUGH THIS HORRIBLE TIME

 

[RedRoseBeauty]

Rubberduck please go see your doctor. They won't think you are insane they are there to help you not judge you. You don't have to have tablets you can refuse them I have refused them before but you will be offered counselling.

Do you know why you felt this way?
What started you feeling so low all the time?
If you can realise why you feel this way then it's a starting point for getting better.


Please try and avoid looking at how to kill yourself, it may seem like it right now but it isn't the only option you have in life.

x