I think I'm Bipolar?

F

Fruitsalad

New member
Joined
May 24, 2019
Messages
3
Location
West Yorkshire
#1
Hi everyone,
Penny here,

This is not the first time I've thought I'm Bipolar, I have many times over the years but as of yet I haven't done anything about it.
My partner of six years said 'Don't you notice your sudden mood swings?' It was said in good faith and we have a good relationship but I've always struggled in secret with mental health issues. I battle depression, anxiety and I've had OCD intrusive thoughts since I was seven. (Unoffical diagnosis.) The first time I noticed my symptoms was at aged 15. I was bullied relentlessly emotionally and physically during school over a five year period. I think this could have been my 'trigger.' I plunged into depression and started harming. I don't really know how I got through this patch but somehow I did. Then at 16 I met my other half who picked me up out of my darkened spiral. Since then my moods shift at lot from very high to very low. Sometimes i hate life and will openly say how i dont want to be here then the next day I could be talking about how I'm going to do all these fancy plans. Recently I think I've been in a 'manic' stage without even realizing. My 'red flag' was when I noticed my recent lack of sleep but how, most of the time I don't really miss it. Even with 3-4 hours a night. The depression and worthlessness can be unbearable and I hate myself for the way I show off sometimes. I get irritated so easily and angry.
I want to figure out what exactly it is I'm struggling with but the stigma around me is intense. Not with my partner. He'd support me with anything but he doesn't exactly 'get it.' Now that I'm not sleeping I worry things could be getting worse.
Thanks for any support or advice.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Mar 9, 2012
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4,436
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Tigger and Willow's house
#4
No, I've only spoken to a doctor once about mental health and I found it very embarrassing. I'm building a diary of my moods but to be honest I'm frightened of what will happen.
what will happen if you show the doctor the mood diary is the doctor will try and help you :hug:
 
S

SadOne234

New member
Joined
May 25, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Ft Lauderdale
#5
I think the mood diary is a good idea. I might try that too. I have a questionable diagnosis of bipolar and I would like to see for myself if I really am. I’ve had varying opinions by different docs. You should for your own understanding.
 
megirl

megirl

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Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
6,323
Location
NZ
#6
There's no reason to be embarrassed. Mental illness is the same as any physical illness.
If you were experiencing chest pain I am sure you would seek help immediately.
I have found it's a good idea before you see a doctor write things down how you feel what's going on, but the main thing is there is absolutely no reason to feel embarrassed
 

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