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I think I'm annoying

Lizaje

Lizaje

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Jul 20, 2020
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708
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Idk
Sometimes I talk way too much and I say the most random boring things. I half expect someone to tell me to shut up. Most of the time I don't talk to anyone at all. Strangers (at work) seem embarrassed with me because I don't talk. Then I have a problem with my speech. It's not a medical issue or anything. I can talk normally/clearly, but I have a habit of talking really fast. It's difficult for me to slow down my speech, maybe because of anxiety, and people frequently have difficulty understanding me and sometimes I think they stare at me weird (condescending, ridiculing) when they hear me talk for the first time. I also have problems hearing people which I can't explain. It could be a coincidence — they're there, I'm here there's background noise, they spoke with a low voice...... But I tend to blame myself and I've been blamed for it too. Then I feel stupid. I try to listen and I focus, but sometimes I just can't catch all the words and it's becoming a cause of shame to me. I used to not even know I did that.
 
T

TearyEyedx

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Aug 16, 2020
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158
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United Kingdom
I don’t think you’re annoying. I think you’re going through a really hard time and being too hard on yourself. We are our worst critics and don’t really believe what others say about us if they are being nice, but we always believe the negative things. I would go to the doctor and just explain to them how you’re feeling. No one should ever feel shame about how they feel.
❤
 
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Purpleplum

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Feb 7, 2020
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So, can you slow down when you're talking--take a breath, let the other person respond, etc...
 
Lizaje

Lizaje

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Idk
So, can you slow down when you're talking--take a breath, let the other person respond, etc...
I do let them respond. It's just that when I talk I say the words quickly and my articulation isn't good. At times I feel like I physically can't control the muscles properly, but I'm pretty sure that's because I'm so tense from anxiety.

I often try to slow down, but it's difficult. Like I said, it's almost like I can't control the muscles properly. Especially when I say something and I'm asked to repeat it — I feel bad I've done it again and it makes me all the more anxious.
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Jun 24, 2018
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New Zealand
@Lizjale

To me, it really does sound like the problems you're experiencing are mainly problems centering around you belittling yourself somewhat, or your mind sending you negative messages which is very common with social anxiety and part of having mental health difficulties. Going by what you've posted here it doesn't sound at all that you're a weird, boring or a stupid person, no. It sounds like you're quite a thoughtful person which is good.

I think if you can learn to not ruminate on how you believe other people perceive you and just focus on becoming more relaxed, more kind to yourself - and you may have to research ways of doing that, there are many different ways - then life will become a bit easier for you @Lizjale.
 
Slekiplisse

Slekiplisse

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
20
Location
Harlow, Essex. U.K.
Never be afraid of pausing before you speak or talking more slowly
Remember all the most important approval we get comes from inside ourselves
If you slow down and speak more deliberately at least you’ll know you said just what you meant to say
Hope this helps
 
S

Sorchia

New member
Joined
Aug 16, 2020
Messages
4
Location
North Yorkshire
I agree, be kind to yourself and keep trying. I bet other people don’t notice it as much as you think, we are always critical of ourselves! Good luck :)
 
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