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I think I should stop being friends with someone with suicidal tendencies

M

MimiSad

New member
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4
I think I should stop being friends with someone with suicidal tendencies

I feel like a jerk. I've been friends with this guy since middle school. But I've been realizing that he is pretty manipulative. We both come from "broken" homes but his parents genuinely seem to hate him more than his other siblings. They switch between Spanish and English depending on who they're talking to. But I can tell by their tone and body language that they put him down a lot. He has suicidal tendencies because of this lack of support at home.

Because of that he relies on his friends a lot for emotional support. Me included, but I have my own life. I feel like I act more like a therapist than a friend. I've realized that's always been how are friendship is. I get a call from him and its two hours of complaining one sided convos. I talked to him about seeing a therapist again, he said that they just tell him what he already knows. But I can't take this venting anymore. He said he could change but I'm just so stressed just looking at any texts from him.

And after an argument last week he told me he tried to OD on Advil. It was all about him being upset I cancelled last minute to watch my lil' cousin and his other friends cancelling. Its just too much, and I need him to change for himself.

Any thoughts? I don't know how to break it off. I've told him how i feel and he goes from I'll change to stop saying my exhausting you.

Honesty isn't a thing anymore? IDK
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,752
Location
Europe
I think you should just be honest. Different people have different limits, but a really depressed person with suicidal tendencies can be very difficult to get on with. I had a friend with borderline, but she had such ups and downs even during one walk on the beach that in the end we decided we both needed some distance. I still talk to her occasionally.

I think that by first explaining how you feel you've given him the chance to change if he is capable of it, which is only fair since he has such a deep emotional need for his friends. It's the compassionate thing to do. But our capability to give has limits and if you feel you've reached yours then it's fair to shift the conversation to "I need some space" and not give him the option.
 

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