i think i need to start speaking

[escape]

iv been reading over this forum for quiet a while but to be honest iv been too scared to ever say anything, the same way i am when im around people

for as long as i can remember iv been realy unhappy (i dont know id thats the right word to be honest) but i need to start at the begining . . .

when i was a small child my parents got into financial difficulty (my mother recently told me if they had sold the house at the time it wouldn't have been enough to clear the debts) my dad decided he was a couard and legged it leaveing my mum quiet frankly in the sh*t and since then things have been on a downward spiral, my sister tried to kill herself (which realy got to me and still does) my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, both have since moved away for a fresh start and i find myself spending more and more time away from humanity

i spend whole weekends not leaving my flat once and if it wasnt for work it would probably be even longer.

last night i had a dream that realy scared me and i think i need to admit iv got a problem and try to make things better, until now iv tried to ignor my problems and how i feel and i dont think i can any longer

 

[emski]

Hello escape and welcome to the forum,

Glad you've managed to post - it's a really brave step admitting that you think there is something not right. You have been through a lot and it must've been very hard.

You will find lots of support here. Have you thought about telling your doctor about how you're feeling? It sounds like you are experiencing symptoms of anxiety and depression, and it is always a good idea to talk to your doctor about these kinds of feelings if you trust them. From there your doctor might be able to help you find ways of coping with how you're feeling.

Feel free to post as much or as little as you like - people are always around to help and it is a very therapeutic environment.

Well done again for posting, take care

 

[escape]

i think i should add that my sister and mum are both doing much better and niether of them have problems like they used to

and were all meeting up for a week over christmas at my mothers house


thank you so much for your reply i think i will start poisting here when ever i feel i need to, i just dont want to sound like im all me me me.

but i guess weve all got our share of problems and i already feel alittle better just saying wot i have to say and putting it out there

 

[emski]

don't worry, it will never sound like it's all you you you - that is what this place is here for

 

[Fallen Angel]

Hi escape andto the forum!

hope posting here helps, people are really supportive! I used to really worry about speaking to my doctor, but happy I did as he arranged the help I needed. I hope you find the strength to do the same, you done brilliant so far by posting on here and recognising that you need to work things out!!

Take Care

Angel

 

[Steeeve]

Welcome escape. I've only been here a short time but I already feel comfortable. I'm glad that you were able to take that first step and put yourself out there for us to see. You'll find that no one here is judgmental. We're all here because we suffer from some problem just like you. The next step is telling someone you trust, be that your mom, sister, or doctor. That was personally the hardest step for me, not only because I was afraid of being vulnerable, but because my hopelessness was so great that I felt like I either couldnt or didnt want to be helped. Dont make that mistake.

Dont worry about coming across as selfish. Like I said, we're all here to help. If you can contribute and help someone else, awesome. If not, then we'll still be happy if we can help you.