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I think I need help, but what sort of help, I don't know.

G

Glimmer Of Hope

Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2015
Messages
9
Life has in many ways become quite bleak for me. Sleep, work, eat, watch tv, sleep, rinse, repeat, weekend. Same day in day out.

I have no friends. Not that I see outside of work anyway. I don't like going out. I don't like the way I look and don't feel confident walking out the door. I don't eat that well, although at least I do eat and drink certain things. I don't exercise.

I lack motivation to change anything. I am on anti depressants but I just feel like a zombie most days. I have bad skin, acne and eczema but I do take medication for it.

I have issues with my sexuality and don't see the point of exploring it. If I am gay, then that's not what I want to be. No problems with others being that way, but i just want to feel normal.

Just like lying in bed, curtains drawn and sleeping. Much easier, but it does make me think what's the point? Am I better off dead? Maybe. Only enjoyment I get is escaping reality and pets. I suppose that's something.

I only get offered CBT and after work when I just want to get home, hide away and sleep.
I don't have the motivation to commit to a schedule beyond work and even work is hard for me.

Anyone been here? Anyone know a way out of this cycle of problems going round and round, year after year?
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
33,206
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
i dont really know what to say that could be of use but do you think anti depressents might be helpful to you?
it does sound as though you are depressed and maybe counselling would help but im not sure about cbt
anyway just wanted to welcome you to the forum ,lots of love from fairy lu xx
 
Nikita

Nikita

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jun 20, 2015
Messages
4,931
Hello glimmerofhope,

I think working day in day out is a bit grueling and being stuck in the same old routine can wear a bit thin.

You say you lack friends, don't like the way you look and don't feel confident going out the door, your appetite isn't good and you have acne and excema,you prefer to spend time in bed escaping and you think you might be gay and don't want to be.

That is quiet a handful of problems and I really feel for you because I have had the same issues over the course of my 26 years of illness.I have hated my looks, in fact lately I have been feeling very ugly compared to the younger women I see out and about,I am lucky as my motivation hasn't gone yet!

I do think the issue of your sexuality whether you are gay or not is central to why you feel unhappy,that one won't go away until you have resolved it.I don't know any way out of a vicious circle going round year after year except to interrupt the circle at some point and tackle the issues,the same ones will come round every year unless you face the issues around say being gay or not eating well and not having any energy to do anything but sleep.

Try and improve what you eat and see your sexuality for what it is without judging yourself for it or judging it as bad.It is what it is,acceptance is the key.

Somehow you may be more motivated if you eat healthily and increase your energy,try going for walks and enjoying nature,maybe play outside with your pets.

I wish you all the best.Nikitax
 
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