- Sep 12, 2018
I’ve been dealing with this for a few months, but I can’t help but actually ask about it. A lot of things I do, and decisions I make are based off of if I don’t pick this thing instead of that or if I don’t do this, then something bad will happen. My dog will die, my mom will die, my brother will die, etc. It isn’t every little thing, but a good majority of decisions I make go like that. If I pick this spoon instead of that one, it’s going to poison me. If I don’t pick that water bottle instead of the other water bottle, it’s contaminated and will somehow kill me. If I give my mom this plate, she’ll die if she eats from it. If I don’t step on this leaf, I’ll get hurt. If I step on a rock out of fear that something bad will happen, but I step on it and it still doesn’t feel right, I have to go back and step on it again until it feels right. I can’t step on cracks at all, or I’ll break my mom’s back. If I don’t make that thing face the front, somebody will die (although that one is definitely not as common for me to do as the others). It’s so irritating and angers me and frustrates me to no end. I’ve looked up OCD so much, and done so much research, but I can’t help but get the feeling that I don’t actually have OCD because I don’t check things repeatedly. I don’t count. I don’t clean. I don’t wash my hands. I feel like I don’t really have it, and that some of these compulsions are only caused because I’ve looked up the symptoms, so now I’m just acting on them because I know what they are. But, I’ve been doing most of these things months before I even began researching OCD. I honestly thought it was anxiety for a while, but I also don’t want to be one of those people who thinks they have OCD just because they have a few little quirks. Any advice? Thank you.