T
TipToeThruTheTulips
Member
My mother and other family members have suffered from bipolar. I'm scared I may have it too (definitely going to wait to see a doctor and mental health prof before I say I actually have it tho)
Imma just describe my experiences to see if anyone can relate.
Sometimes (maybe three or four times a week. It depends) I have this feeling of euphoria. Like I'm perfect mentally and physically. I get very hyper. I talk so much that I can tell people are annoyed with me because I'm usually not very talkative. I feel extremely agitated and snap at people without really noticing. I feel like I've too much built up energy. I have the urge to just straight up beat myself.
It really looks to other people that I'm just VERY happy but there's like this unsettling feeling I get.. I cannot describe it then after an hour or so I feel like a switch has been flicked. I instantly feel terrible.
Today I felt like a god. I felt like no one could stop me from doing everything I wanted to do then suddenly I was drowning in tears in front of a whole store of people lmao. Usually, after that, I dissociate.
I'm naturally kinda paranoid even when depressed but it seems amplified when I'm like this. I feel like someone is out to get me/kill me but obviously, they can't get me because I'm too important (???). Nothing can happen to me... at least that's how I feel sometimes. Others I feel very anxious. It's quite scary. I was walking home a good couple of days ago now. I saw this man and he scared me(looking back he wasn't doing anything that scary lmao). I went home as quickly as I could, locked myself in my room, and stayed there for a while. I heard banging on the front door, someone opening it, and their footsteps coming up the stairs towards my room door. No one was there... I've had many hallucinations and delusions before but never really knew where they came from. I thought it was all just anxiety.
I've noticed that these episodes I guess have gotten more frequent over the past year or so. I'm exhausted from the ups and downs especially with me having body dysmorphia, arthritis, and horrible teeth problems on top of everything. I can't really seem to get a break.
Sorry for the long post. Probably not the most organized heh I hope everyone has a good day
Imma just describe my experiences to see if anyone can relate.
Sometimes (maybe three or four times a week. It depends) I have this feeling of euphoria. Like I'm perfect mentally and physically. I get very hyper. I talk so much that I can tell people are annoyed with me because I'm usually not very talkative. I feel extremely agitated and snap at people without really noticing. I feel like I've too much built up energy. I have the urge to just straight up beat myself.
It really looks to other people that I'm just VERY happy but there's like this unsettling feeling I get.. I cannot describe it then after an hour or so I feel like a switch has been flicked. I instantly feel terrible.
Today I felt like a god. I felt like no one could stop me from doing everything I wanted to do then suddenly I was drowning in tears in front of a whole store of people lmao. Usually, after that, I dissociate.
I'm naturally kinda paranoid even when depressed but it seems amplified when I'm like this. I feel like someone is out to get me/kill me but obviously, they can't get me because I'm too important (???). Nothing can happen to me... at least that's how I feel sometimes. Others I feel very anxious. It's quite scary. I was walking home a good couple of days ago now. I saw this man and he scared me(looking back he wasn't doing anything that scary lmao). I went home as quickly as I could, locked myself in my room, and stayed there for a while. I heard banging on the front door, someone opening it, and their footsteps coming up the stairs towards my room door. No one was there... I've had many hallucinations and delusions before but never really knew where they came from. I thought it was all just anxiety.
I've noticed that these episodes I guess have gotten more frequent over the past year or so. I'm exhausted from the ups and downs especially with me having body dysmorphia, arthritis, and horrible teeth problems on top of everything. I can't really seem to get a break.
Sorry for the long post. Probably not the most organized heh I hope everyone has a good day
