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I think I lack empathy for others

D

Drogir

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2015
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2
Location
Czech Republic
Hello
I cant feel empathy for others or any positive emotions towards them. I do care for my friends and family but i dont feel any connection between us. I always see groups of friends or couples with such a strong bounds between them. I never felt anything like that towards anyone I wish I could but I cant . I dont feel bad when i lie to someone or hurt them in some way, though i know its wrong but it feels almost natural for me to lie. Once when i was on lie detector it was always showing that what i said was true,even if it were obvious lies .
When i was 15 my father died from disease, I didnt felt almost anything , I was a little sad for a few hours but that quickly passed. Some people say to me that im blank and they think im a horrible person and they avoid me because of it, Others seem to "like" me because of my humor and I enjoy being the middle of attention because Im lonely a lot of time, Still i need to be alone often, I need my peace and privacy as I like to say.
Does that make me a bad person?
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Oct 21, 2014
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2,095
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UK
Hi Drogir, welcome to the forum. I hope you will find it friendly and interesting.

In your post you seem to emphasise things you think are negative about yourself, and discount positives. You say you don't have positive feelings for others, yet you do care for your friends and family. Presumably they care for you. It is hard to make and keep friends if there is no reciprocity of feeling, or no connection. Maybe you are not fully aware that you do connect in some way? Things are rarely all black or all white.

If you would like to change things in your life, and in your relationships, have you thought of trying some kind of therapy? I do believe we can change our behaviour and the way we think about things and relate to the world. Therapy is one starting point.

Wish you well, Sarah
 
Q

Q_sert

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Joined
Mar 31, 2015
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Location
Minneapolis
Hello
I cant feel empathy for others or any positive emotions towards them. I do care for my friends and family but i dont feel any connection between us.
I'm right there with you. It's a different kind of care, almost as if your emphasis is in a different part of the sentence right? Like, most people would say: I love her, she's my mom, but for me it's: I love her, she's my mom. Is that how it is for you?

I always see groups of friends or couples with such a strong bounds between them. I never felt anything like that towards anyone I wish I could but I cant . I dont feel bad when i lie to someone or hurt them in some way, though i know its wrong but it feels almost natural for me to lie.
Do you lie compulsively? You're first instinct is a lie, without having to think about it?


When i was 15 my father died from disease, I didnt felt almost anything , I was a little sad for a few hours but that quickly passed. Some people say to me that im blank and they think im a horrible person and they avoid me because of it, Others seem to "like" me because of my humor
Again, I'm right there with you. My grandfather died recently, he lived with us, I suppose you could say we were "close". But it didn't really register, just kind of said "ok" and it was done.
As for people saying you're blank and horrible, it's difficult (I'd wager close to impossible) for people with normal psychology to understand where you're coming from. There is a HUGE difference between choosing not to care, and not being able to care. Most people can't imagine what that's like.

and I enjoy being the middle of attention because Im lonely a lot of time, Still i need to be alone often, I need my peace and privacy as I like to say.
Does that make me a bad person?
No, it doesn't make you a bad person. Not in my eyes at least. You sound like you have a very similar mental state to me. I have Narcissistic personality disorder, you might to. I'd recommend seeing a psychologist, maybe getting some form of psych testing done.

You're not alone. There are others out there just like you, don't feel bad about it.
 
D

Drogir

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Joined
Apr 1, 2015
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Czech Republic
Thank you for your answer,Im sorry that I couldnt reply sooner but I was really busy working on project. With that kind of care you are right, thats what I was trying to say. I do lie without thinking about it and Im doing it almost automaticly, or I will atlest try to make the truth "prettier" for me. I have already seen a psychologist a few times and I was told that he suspects that I have Narcissistic disorder. Also that Im most likely a Sociopath.
 
katya

katya

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Dec 4, 2013
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England
Thank you for your answer,Im sorry that I couldnt reply sooner but I was really busy working on project. With that kind of care you are right, thats what I was trying to say. I do lie without thinking about it and Im doing it almost automaticly, or I will atlest try to make the truth "prettier" for me. I have already seen a psychologist a few times and I was told that he suspects that I have Narcissistic disorder. Also that Im most likely a Sociopath.
I'm sure there are things you can do to lessen your symptoms and learn to empathise a bit more with other people. I hope you can get in touch with a therapist who you can see on a regular basis.
 
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