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I think I have this.

M

Mad Hatter

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I reckon I get a dose of this social anxiety thing every now and then. Sometimes I'm OK but other times I dread of meeting up with anyone in case I get too anxious and have to sort of just get away. I've found unless I know someone pretty well I tend to be shy and at the end of the day maybe that is what shyness probably is.

On another note upsetting as it is for me I'm tending to avoid people around where I live as the next door neighbours have been telling lies about me and telling everyone I've got a mental problem apparently they have some device they can listen through walls with. Great innit!!!
 
daffy

daffy

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apparently they have some device they can listen through walls with. Great innit!!!

:D lol and they think you have a problem!!!. Have you asked them if they work for MI5 and are on a spying mission.


Just laugh at them next time they come out with ridiculous comments
 
Fedup

Fedup

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On another note upsetting as it is for me I'm tending to avoid people around where I live as the next door neighbours have been telling lies about me and telling everyone I've got a mental problem apparently they have some device they can listen through walls with. Great innit!!!

Hold your head up high in your neighbourhood , you know the truth ........... Lies will catch them out in the end !
As for listening to you through the wall .......... that's mad . I'd take that with a pinch of salt and ignore them.
 
midnight

midnight

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I find social occassions exhausting. I would imagine people do not think I am shy but the reality is I have to work hard to interact
 
He1ena

He1ena

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I know for a fact that I come across as confident to people outside of my family and close friends. That's why it was probably such a shock to people when they found out i had depression and anxiety problems. I must admit there are days (most days) when i wont even leave the house or open the door for a delivery. I find it so difficult to be in a room with other people.

But some days my old habits kick in and i can not as much cope, but "pretend" to cope. I used to stop this, as i thought I'm only hiding how i feel and I'm being fake. But now i use it to pick out the positives. You too must have had a time in your life where you've had a conversation with someone that your not really interested in, or done something you haven't really wanted to do just cos it keeps friends happy? You can use the energy you used then and convert it to positives. I'm blethering on a bit now, but like the old saying goes "life's a stage, and to every one you have a different role" I know its really hard, but try to think what Peggy Mitchell from eastenders, or Leanne battersby from corrie would say to your neighbors lol. They will talk behind your back because they're scared of what you'd say. So throw it back in their face, and show off how overly confident and outspoken you are! What they're doing is bullying you. just got to call a bully's bluff!

:evil:Failing that you could run round the street with your knickers on your head and give them something to talk about. If you do it enough they might get used to it and start talking about some one else?
 
M

Mad Hatter

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I don't wear knicker(y)s!!!!!!
 
Ashami

Ashami

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On another note upsetting as it is for me I'm tending to avoid people around where I live as the next door neighbours have been telling lies about me and telling everyone I've got a mental problem apparently they have some device they can listen through walls with. Great innit!!!
Apart from perhaps, The Dalai Llama, and all the little babies in the world, I don't know a single person who doesn't have a mental problem Mad Hatter. If we were all ok, at peace with the world and each other, where would be the challenge?

It's only when you enter the system with your 'mental problem' that it becomes classified as such, and classification is extremely subjective and ultimately based on a group of individual perceptions.

These tw*ts can only hurt your feelings if you give them permission. What is wrong with their lives that they want to spend their time focusing on yours?

Put up a strong invisible shield between you and these negative people. (If you are interested I know a good visualisation to do this).

There is nothing more destructive than negativity (apart from a narcissistic bully, and it sounds like you live next to at least one).
 
M

Mad Hatter

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Oh yeah i live next door to a bully ok. He thinks hes the dogs b******s. I call him potato head, fiddling the system back garden full of rubbish. Got another pootato head as a mate and they think they can do what they like vile people real low life. I can when Im feeling good just blank them out I was quite good at that before I got ill but when Im in a low state it really gets to me.
 
Brimble

Brimble

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Social anxiety issues and work

Hi Mad Hatter et al

Yes it is debilitating to suffer with social anxiety - cuts you off from folks and intensifies the mental health problems. I always try to get back into the social swing but I fear the human race too much and only have to look at our History to know why!

Being social anxious but working in customer service roles is rather weird too -try as I might I can't get away from face to face work with the public. I am told I am "wonderful at managing the public" but all the while I am screaming inside. My "wonderful" approach is based on being kind and decent to one and all - simply being humane doesn't require a PhD but human empathy is in short supply in our world.

Sometimes I just shut off at home, I get times when I cannot speak, go mute in effect. I can't answer the phone on a bad day and this leads folks to believe I am being selfish or uncaring when in fact I am merely shutting down to keep what is left of my sanity. Does anyone else suffer with "going mute"? It is frightening when you open your mouth and no sound comes out.

Does anyone find that their mental health problems are tied in with mental retardation? Despite having more than enough exam passes for the work I do I find my educational qualifications are simply ignored!! Recently passed some HE exams and it hasn't made a blind bit of difference to my chances. I don't know if this is correct employment practice (legally) but it happens so often I wonder if it is worth studying anything. Yet I enjoy the study so I do get something out of it personally but it doesn't stop discrimination in the workplace. Doesn't matter what legislation is put in place either! the discrimination is covert & it doesn't help your mental health improve when you are so derided. I wonder how many folks actually develop mental health issues AT work as a consequence of bad employment practice?

The assumption that folks with mental health issues have "low skills" for the workplace is slowly destroying me - anyone else feel this way? I don't even mind being tested to establish my level of capacity/functioning but this is never offered. So it seems that ill founded supposition and associated prejudice still shapes the perception of us mad folks, I can't face walking this path again and again. Without my GP's belief in me I would have "let go" of this crummy world by now but somehow I can't let HIM down by doing so!

Brim
 
M

Mad Hatter

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Hi Brimble, in my part of the country mental health is tied in with learning difficulties, challenging behaviour and all things negative, so you can draw your own conclusion from that one. I can't see how they can do this, I mean there are different types of mental illness for starters then different levels of it. So I guess someone decided that they couldn't be bothered with pigeon holing everything and decided to put one label for everyone. It's typical. No wonder we get this mixing problem.
 
Brimble

Brimble

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mental health and "low skills/limited capacity"

Hi Mad Hatter!

Thanks for your reply. Its nice to know someone shares my exasperation with all the labels that are misapplied. Maybe the government should look into the labelling issue first and foremost when considering how to help the mentally ill integrate back into society.

Regards your neighbour I don't think there is a "listening device" other than a glass at the wall type of thing. How sad they are to resort to this type of behaviour. Makes you wonder who is the sickest really!

Best to avoid them I say, but then again I try to avoid anyone getting too close to me and that can make me seem remote or unfriendly towards my OK neighbours! Shyness is one thing, a fear of human beings is another. All my experiences make me back off from most social interaction other than the superficial customer service pleasantries I keep myself to myself. I can turn on the smile for work and do deal with some lovely folks on occasions. Just don't want to get too close to any staff I work alongside.

My GP points out all the decent folks who support me like my uni tutors and associated professionals. He considers that this indicates that not all human beings are nasty and untrustworthy but he does concede that the mentally ill get a bad press and are thus stigmatised & or marginalized in society.

I'd like to see some means of redress for the labelling issue, there should be a way of challenging misconceptions - we need legal redress as is important in overturning prejudice in our working lives.

Take care and don't let your horrid neighbour get you down. Your email shows that you have the moral high ground so feel sorry for them.

Brim
 
M

Mad Hatter

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Hi again Brimble

When I feel good like the past few days I feel I can cope with most of the stuff life has a habit of throwing at you, it's only on my bad days where I feel lower than a snakes belly do I tend to get this inferiority complex. The neighbour issue has been running for quite a few years now but what amuses me how once this jerk and his poisonous girlfriend have spoke to people I've known for years is how they have changed towards me. Amazing reaction to someone who keeps himself to himself (me) and never bothers anyone. My attitude has become kind of well **** em!!!!
 
R

ramboghettouk

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One thing he undoubtedly suffers from is extreme social anxiety, that from a psychiatrist rediagnosing me.

My friend has a saying "Twopence halfpenny snobs" i just ask how did they get in? you don't get housed in my place if your fit for work etc, as for the people in the pub in the afternoon, who's paying for the alcohol, my experience of work, what there is of it, is that drinking that much is contraindicated with work
 
J

justlikeawoman

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I reckon I get a dose of this social anxiety thing every now and then. Sometimes I'm OK but other times I dread of meeting up with anyone in case I get too anxious and have to sort of just get away. I've found unless I know someone pretty well I tend to be shy and at the end of the day maybe that is what shyness probably is.

On another note upsetting as it is for me I'm tending to avoid people around where I live as the next door neighbours have been telling lies about me and telling everyone I've got a mental problem apparently they have some device they can listen through walls with. Great innit!!!
is this not an invasion of your privacy?
 
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