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I think I have borderline

C

Cowtipping

New member
Joined
Jul 14, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Marshfield
I’ve had Complex PTSD and Panic disorder since I was 12. When I was 19 I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder which made sense at first, I am impulsive and I have extreme mood swings. But I’ve never had an impulsive or depressive episode for more than a day because my mood fluctuates hourly, I can go from angry to sad to happy to anxious to relaxed in a matter of two hours. I also have extreme unaddressed abandonment issues, I am constantly worried that people will abandon me to a point where it someone moves away, it feels like they’re never going to talk to me again and I cut them off. I cut people off whenever I feel like they’re going to leave and it’s so hard for me to maintain friendships. I’ve also only had extremely abusive romantic relationships, almost like I’m constantly seeking chaos. I’ve been an addict and an over spender for as long as I can remember. I also have over the top reactions when I’m angry even about the smallest things. I’ll start verbal fights, break things and hit myself but it only leaves me feeling worse and more worried about being abandoned when people see me react that way. I’ve had a huge struggle with my self identity, I don’t know who I am and at times I completely depersonalize and dissociate and feel like an empty shell. I have fluctuating goals and dreams so it’s difficult for me to stay in college or keep a job. I feel absolutely worthless a lot of the time because I don’t exactly understand who I am or what I want. I’m not trying to self diagnose and many of these symptoms correlate with PTSD and bipolar, but a lot of bpd symptoms resonate with me and I think I need to seek a professional for a diagnosis
 
B

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
1,865
Location
England
Hello and welcome to the forum. I agree with you that you need to see a professional for a diagnosis. They are the only people qualified to diagnose.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
2,012
Good rule of thumb, bipolar experience great highs and great lows.

Bpd rarely have the great highs.

But it’s absolutely true, you cannot self diagnose. A therapist can help. Nobody is ever 100% bpd, there are usually other layers like depression and anxiety.
 
Halle29

Halle29

Active member
Joined
Jul 10, 2020
Messages
31
Location
USA
I’ve had Complex PTSD and Panic disorder since I was 12. When I was 19 I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder which made sense at first, I am impulsive and I have extreme mood swings. But I’ve never had an impulsive or depressive episode for more than a day because my mood fluctuates hourly, I can go from angry to sad to happy to anxious to relaxed in a matter of two hours. I also have extreme unaddressed abandonment issues, I am constantly worried that people will abandon me to a point where it someone moves away, it feels like they’re never going to talk to me again and I cut them off. I cut people off whenever I feel like they’re going to leave and it’s so hard for me to maintain friendships. I’ve also only had extremely abusive romantic relationships, almost like I’m constantly seeking chaos. I’ve been an addict and an over spender for as long as I can remember. I also have over the top reactions when I’m angry even about the smallest things. I’ll start verbal fights, break things and hit myself but it only leaves me feeling worse and more worried about being abandoned when people see me react that way. I’ve had a huge struggle with my self identity, I don’t know who I am and at times I completely depersonalize and dissociate and feel like an empty shell. I have fluctuating goals and dreams so it’s difficult for me to stay in college or keep a job. I feel absolutely worthless a lot of the time because I don’t exactly understand who I am or what I want. I’m not trying to self diagnose and many of these symptoms correlate with PTSD and bipolar, but a lot of bpd symptoms resonate with me and I think I need to seek a professional for a diagnosis

I am in the same boat. My old therapist was tested me for both bipolar and bdp, and I felt like I was bdp because my moods and impulsive actions also don't last longer than a day. Also I have deep fear of abandonment and exhibit a lot of black and white thinking. The self identity thing is also a part of me as I often tend to take up something passionately only to change it shortly thereafter. I hope you get the correct diagnosis and I wish you all the best.
 
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