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I think I figured out why I was abused

J

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The woman who mentally, verbally, and emotionally abused me was always mentally unstable. I honestly believe she is bipolar mainly because of her erratic mood swings. People normally wouldn't go on a screaming fit over burnt popcorn that was only burning for literally ten seconds before the microwave was turned off or because someone didn't call them while the other person went to get the mail. She'd even scream at me and say how much she hated me and then tell me to get out of her face but five minutes later, call for me crying and then hug me and said how much she loved me. This was pretty confusing as you could imagine. But I think the main reason she was this way was because she was afraid of me becoming independent and standing up to her. Every time I did anything remotely independently, she would freak out and increase her hold on me and punish me. And the ONE time I was assertive with her and calmly but assertively told her that I wanted the Nintendo DS Lite and games that she took away from me back and that I promised to never bother her again, she refused and called my dad crying and saying that I "was being really mean" and she "was afraid" I "was going to hurt" her. She was saying minutes earlier how much she hated me and wanted me out of her life and so I was offering a compromise of sorts and a promise to give her what she wanted because I'm just that way. If someone REALLY wants something from me, I'll do my best to give it to them and I don't make promises like that for no reason at all. When I had to get my first apartment, this woman threw a fit for months and telling case workers that I can't live on my own. She actually got into arguments with people over it. And if I had any money, she had to have it. It was all about controlling me and she did a pretty good job because I sadly didn't know any better. I actually thought all this was normal and even made excuses for every single thing she did including saying it was always my fault and that she was just stressed out from her job. I even said this to my therapist who then showed me the truth that nothing about this was normal.
 
blueflames

blueflames

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Yeah, it all sounds very unstable to me. I wouldn't like to pass comment on her mental health but I will say if you can't resolve things and she doesn't want to change, then I would stay away xx
 
Anime-Alchemy

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I'm sorry to hear about what you have been through. That person sure does need help but at the same time it doesn't excuse her from the pain she caused you but at least you know what part/all of the reasons are.

Do you have any contact with her now? It's crazy how she would ring your dad up and tell lies about you :confused:
 
J

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I'm sorry to hear about what you have been through. That person sure does need help but at the same time it doesn't excuse her from the pain she caused you but at least you know what part/all of the reasons are.

Do you have any contact with her now? It's crazy how she would ring your dad up and tell lies about you :confused:
I cut her off after she assaulted me. She helped my dad raise me which made me trust her so much. I know it isn't fair to label her as bipolar but she DID have a professional mental health diagnosis. She just refused to get help. Someone I know said she saw this woman and her mom two months ago at the movies and the woman looked horrible. My dad cut her off as well the night she kept calling his house and he threatened to call the police on her for harassing him.
 
katya

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I'm glad this person is now out of your life and I hope you can focus on repairing the damage that has been done. Please focus on yourself right now and remember, you didn't deserve that treatment.

At least, now, in the future, you'll be able to tell the warning signs of abusive people, and stay the Hell away.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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I cut her off after she assaulted me. She helped my dad raise me which made me trust her so much. I know it isn't fair to label her as bipolar but she DID have a professional mental health diagnosis. She just refused to get help. Someone I know said she saw this woman and her mom two months ago at the movies and the woman looked horrible. My dad cut her off as well the night she kept calling his house and he threatened to call the police on her for harassing him.
It's good to hear that she is not part of your life anymore. I bet you feel alot better about this and you probably have alot less stress also.
At the same time, I hope she is able to get help and hopefully she can change her ways because I would hate to think that someone else is now getting the abuse she put onto you.
 
J

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The only person she could "abuse" at this point in time is her fiance and she always did her best to make sure he liked her. It's pretty complicated to say the least. I mean even her own dog was afraid of her at times.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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The only person she could "abuse" at this point in time is her fiance and she always did her best to make sure he liked her. It's pretty complicated to say the least. I mean even her own dog was afraid of her at times.
Wow, poor dog. I do hope she can get help though. All the same, I'm happy that she isn't part of your life :)
 
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