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I suspect that I am a sociopath with an inferiority complex.

C

Carpe Mundo

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Feb 9, 2020
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I go to a psychiatrist, who has diagnosed me with depression and psychosis in 2008, and who has been prescribing me with antipsychotics and antidepressants since then. Recently, he diagnosed me with OCD. But I have not been diagnosed with sociopathy or as having an inferiority complex.

For the last 5 years, I have been completely lonely, without a friend in the world, and withdrawing myself from my family, who I suspect hate me and look down on me.

Around 2017, I lost all my empathy for all those not of my race. I see all kinds of demographics falling victim to abuse and harassment by mentally-ill persons on social media, and I feel nothing. Sometimes, I think of it as funny, no matter how hurtful or malevolent it was. But when it happens to those of my race, I feel anxiety and heartbreak out-of-proportion to the stimulating factor.

I also suspect my family members of being hateful racists. I have no evidence, and I know this to be overstated, but these thoughts pop up in my head and I cannot get rid of them.

I have developed a victim complex, where I feel that only my race has suffered as intensely, and only they have the right to everything. This is a Manichean and poisonous mindset, and I want to get rid of it.

All I ask for you is not to judge me and to assess my words with the right recommendation. I just need someone to talk to.
 
calypso

calypso

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I don't think you just suddenly develop sociopathy and I think your pdoc would have worked that one out. If you feel your family are racists aren't you one too by talking about your race? I am not being critical just trying to understand.

I think you need to look at when this started and work backwards to find out what triggered it. There is usually something that starts this sort of problem off. Not feeling for others is common with depression as all your energy goes on looking out for yourself. I wouldn't worry too much about that.
 
N

Nukelavee

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Empathy takes energy. Depression saps energy. It's hard to maintain empathy when depressed.

And, let's be honest - it's easy with depression and anxiety to get a bit bitter; we feel resentment to others with better lives,and we get a bit of satisfaction seeing others hurt the way we feel we are.

Calypso makes some good points.

Also - the fact this worries you shows you still have empathy, you haven't embraced it.
 
C

Carpe Mundo

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Northeast Africa
Empathy takes energy. Depression saps energy. It's hard to maintain empathy when depressed.

And, let's be honest - it's easy with depression and anxiety to get a bit bitter; we feel resentment to others with better lives,and we get a bit of satisfaction seeing others hurt the way we feel we are.

Calypso makes some good points.

Also - the fact this worries you shows you still have empathy, you haven't embraced it.
For the last 12 years, I've been suffering from chronic depression. I didn't know that depression saps the patient of his/her empathy for others. I actually want to know more about empathy and how it works.

If I killed off the last bit of empathy in me, I would become an unfazed, cold-blooded psychopath. I guess it's the last bit of empathy that keeps me from seeing the world and other people as objects for my gratification.
 
C

Carpe Mundo

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Northeast Africa
Empathy takes energy. Depression saps energy. It's hard to maintain empathy when depressed.

And, let's be honest - it's easy with depression and anxiety to get a bit bitter; we feel resentment to others with better lives,and we get a bit of satisfaction seeing others hurt the way we feel we are.

Calypso makes some good points.

Also - the fact this worries you shows you still have empathy, you haven't embraced it.
I think it's because I've been following some poisonous/toxic news sources that promote a kind of narrative that's completely false and based on malicious rumors.

Supremacism of any race or any religion promotes an "us versus them" mentality, and a hatred of outsiders, which feeds a victim complex. And anyone with a victim complex cannot be dealt with and should be shunned, for the personal safety of any future counter-victim.

I found supremacist material on Facebook, and I believed it whole. I was ignorant and should have known better. I made that mistake, and it's my fault.

I'm sorry that I'm being vague, but I would like to keep my personal information off the internet, and I prefer not to go any deeper. I hope you understand.

Have a nice day. :)
 
N

Nukelavee

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Being vague is fine. You don't need to bare your soul.

It's easy for anybody to buy into a false or biased narrative, especially these days. Also -depression and anxiety have effects beyond empathy, it can actually make us, sort of, less smart. Our critical thinking ability lessens, our ability to deal with complex or subtle topics is impaired...

doing some reading on those topics is a good idea. You may discover an insight that helps you.

You have a nice day, too.
 
R

Ramson mash

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Feb 1, 2019
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Uk
Showing empathy sometimes requires us to believe in our principles, regardless of our upbringing and the division that is often a result of war. I reckon its very difficult, we cant change history but we can believe in our selves, this makes a huge impact in breaking the walls down that are in place to divide the human race.
 
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