• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

I stopped caring about people

A

Awasteofskin

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 15, 2019
Messages
75
Location
USA
I literally don't care what anyone thinks anymore. Fuck the human race whatever harm comes they deserve it.

Being in the service industry I can tell you that most people are shitty and the Earth would be a better off without the human race entirely.

This industry has torn away any hope I have for social interactions for jobs. I flat out hope the world just comes to an end at this point or at least I fucking die already cause I can't take anymore of this.

My family treates me like I'm an idiot and the world treates me like garbage so as far I'm concerned fuck this world and it's lifeforms.

I just wanna be alone forever I've given up on all people. Truly horrible beings that have no real purpose other than to fuck up everything and suffer then turn into rotting flesh in the ground.

I love the idea of death it sets me free, and makes me feel a huge relief knowing their could be an end to this madness. I'm not afraid my new friend grim I'll be meeting you soon enough buddy.
 
TroubleinParadise

TroubleinParadise

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2018
Messages
187
Location
South Africa
"Hey man - this looks like a serious attitude problem."

That was my first thought.

"Why would his name be "Awasteofskin" and his post be entirely about the horribleness of life?"

That was my second thought.

My underlying question - why do you think you posted this? Do you want us to help you? I can guarantee that there is someone in this forum who wants to. Heck, I want to. Even if just to see if I can.

I know one truth though - I would like it if you felt better about yourself.
 
A

Awasteofskin

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 15, 2019
Messages
75
Location
USA
"Hey man - this looks like a serious attitude problem."

That was my first thought.

"Why would his name be "Awasteofskin" and his post be entirely about the horribleness of life?"

That was my second thought.

My underlying question - why do you think you posted this? Do you want us to help you? I can guarantee that there is someone in this forum who wants to. Heck, I want to. Even if just to see if I can.

I know one truth though - I would like it if you felt better about yourself.
To vent off repressed anger I can't show without being anymore crazy than I already am. I feel alone and dead inside and angry and like I don't belong anywhere and unloved and it's not being helped by stressful situations.

When everyone throws you away like trash you can't help but become that trash. People view me as helpless or stupid or somehow below them and, I just want to feel at least accepted as normal. I don't even care about love or happiness at this point I just want to have a purpose but, nope I don't.

I feel as though I'm outside of a club I don't belong to nor ever welcomed. It's like I'm just here to get tossed aside. So in response I just stopped trying to fit in in anyway. If no one wants me around I don't need to be around.
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,025
I think a lot of people have felt like you have, particularly on this forum. I can relate to everything you describe, but also, it doesn't work to think like this in the long run.
After a certain point, you have to realise some things.
You have to find a way to function in the world, because deep down, you do want to be alive. The pain others have caused you may make you feel you want to die, but in the end, you do still want life.
Those who are mistreated by their families, will have poor 'life skills' and often gravitate towards people and situations that are shitty. That does not mean you are to blame for this, it is merely learned ways of thinking. Even you say people treat you like garbage, so you become garbage. In a sense the mind can be programmed to believe it believes a certain kind of treatment, if you are exposed to certain behaviours, especially from a young age. It is up to you to find a way to learn, to try to figure out what the hell is really going on, and to become more emotionally healthier.
It is true that people can be shitty, and often I can't really explain why they are being so, but it helps to view some humans as just pathetic. There also various reasons why people behave in the way they do - if you are interested you could read psychology to help you understand more. Often there is a deep selfishness instinct in humans, people are selfish, so they can survive (as we are a species like any other) some humans are self entitled, and have been raised to believe they are above all others, and so behave in that way. People often also act out of repressed anger, or try to gain control that was taken away from them. So there are reasons why people behave in the way they do, even though on some level, some people are just pieces of shit. Humans are also nuanced, one human can do both extremely good and extremely bad things, don't forget this.
In all of this, don't forget there are also humans out there with real integrity, people who help others and fight for good. Sometimes it can be easier to view all humans as bad and forget the good. Life is a complex affair, humans are too, don't become jaded and view everything as the same as in the end it will emotionally destroy you.
Also, people do need other people. We need to at least be sociable. We need to find a way to learn to deal with the more pathetic behaviour of some humans, and enjoy the friendliness and good behaviour of others.
If you are in a toxic situation with your family you need to disentangle yourself from it. If your work situation is not good you need to find a place with more supportive colleagues. I hope this helps.
 
E

EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
1,765
Location
USA
Hey A,

you’re not stupid at all, your writing and thoughts prove you’re not. A lot of what you said is actually pretty normal to feel sometimes. It actually sounds like you’re really bright. But yeah you need to Dig in and find that hope. You can do it. There are good people I promise. You’re one of them, don’t bail on us!!
 
TroubleinParadise

TroubleinParadise

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2018
Messages
187
Location
South Africa
If this can help you - even in the slightest.

I made a decision a while ago that changed my life.

I decided to just be myself. That was it. I would accept whatever came after that - whether people liked it or not. I was going to just be, live and accept the reality of that.

I am a little strange - but aren't we all?

My advice - people may have mistreated you in the past, but that is their problem, not yours! It is a reflection of their nature, not your personality.
 
A

Awasteofskin

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 15, 2019
Messages
75
Location
USA
If this can help you - even in the slightest.

I made a decision a while ago that changed my life.

I decided to just be myself. That was it. I would accept whatever came after that - whether people liked it or not. I was going to just be, live and accept the reality of that.

I am a little strange - but aren't we all?

My advice - people may have mistreated you in the past, but that is their problem, not yours! It is a reflection of their nature, not your personality.
But why I feel the shitty person here? I mean it's true I've done bad things and said horrible things but, I try my best and I feel like nothing is ever enough in this world.
 
A

Awasteofskin

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 15, 2019
Messages
75
Location
USA
Hey A,

you’re not stupid at all, your writing and thoughts prove you’re not. A lot of what you said is actually pretty normal to feel sometimes. It actually sounds like you’re really bright. But yeah you need to Dig in and find that hope. You can do it. There are good people I promise. You’re one of them, don’t bail on us!!
I feel hopeless and like I just can't be happy even if I tried. I see things too literally and objectively and it's a problem when trying to find hope when all you see is horrible shit and rude people.
 
GaryC123

GaryC123

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2016
Messages
106
I feel hopeless and like I just can't be happy even if I tried. I see things too literally and objectively and it's a problem when trying to find hope when all you see is horrible shit and rude people.
Hope you feel better soon. I usually seem to feel the opposite, like everyone else is better than me and I'm the one who is incompetent and screws everything up.
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
6,461
Location
hiding behind the sofa
Hope you feel better soon. I usually seem to feel the opposite, like everyone else is better than me and I'm the one who is incompetent and screws everything up.
That’s more like me I always need confirmation that what I’m doing is correct, whether it’s the way I dress or work that I’m involved in. I think for me it comes down to an overbearing parent who never gave praise
 
GaryC123

GaryC123

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2016
Messages
106
That’s more like me I always need confirmation that what I’m doing is correct, whether it’s the way I dress or work that I’m involved in. I think for me it comes down to an overbearing parent who never gave praise
Yeah. Sounds a bit like me, maybe. I don't know if I can blame my parents, though. They're pretty good at throwing the blame back at me. So I spend a lot of time dwelling on how useless, lazy and good for nothing I am. My parents were "working class" (retired now). They both grew up the children of poor single parents and I guess they went through a lot hard knocks too. My mother will ask me if I'm depressed when I'm laying in bed. I always say, "No. Just tired." It's like there's just nothing she or my dad can do for me at this point because I just don't feel like they were ever nurturing. So I don't go to them with my problems. I feel kind of bad for them and don't want to hang a heavy burden of blame on them but there's not much I can do either. My mind is a train wreck at this point. I guess I kind of just suck it up and muscle through it on my own. Or maybe I'm a wimp and don't "muscle" through anything. I'm never really sure how to think of myself.
 
A

Awasteofskin

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 15, 2019
Messages
75
Location
USA
That’s more like me I always need confirmation that what I’m doing is correct, whether it’s the way I dress or work that I’m involved in. I think for me it comes down to an overbearing parent who never gave praise
Mine were overbearing and always treated me like I'm dumb and can't figure anything out.

They controlled every aspect of my life and made feel as if I'm some kind of idiot who always needed them for everything.

I couldn't even go outside as a kid cause they would instill fear into me about how the world will kidnap me and what not and I never got to experience healthy human interactions or relationships to the point I have trouble even carrying on small talk or making healthy friendships.

Now I'm obessive myself and I become overbearing to be around and I'm too awkward to not be alone. I've accepted the fact that no one will ever truly love me or value me as a someone they truly want in their lives. I'm just someone they deal with and I'm just a burden.

I have a hard time being kind and huge trust issues as well.
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,025
Mine were overbearing and always treated me like I'm dumb and can't figure anything out.

They controlled every aspect of my life and made feel as if I'm some kind of idiot who always needed them for everything.

I couldn't even go outside as a kid cause they would instill fear into me about how the world will kidnap me and what not and I never got to experience healthy human interactions or relationships to the point I have trouble even carrying on small talk or making healthy friendships.

Now I'm obessive myself and I become overbearing to be around and I'm too awkward to not be alone. I've accepted the fact that no one will ever truly love me or value me as a someone they truly want in their lives. I'm just someone they deal with and I'm just a burden.

I have a hard time being kind and huge trust issues as well.
yeah all that may be true
but you are recognising the effect of your parents on you, and this means you have a sense of self, you are not them, and you have already begun your journey to recovery.
you have a separate self who can recognise these things, the effect of your parents on you, and your insecurities you have, and the way you feel.
that is the very beginning of everything for you. you can carve your own way out in this world, and you don't have to be a victim to anything. you can find your own way to survive, that's what this is all about, for us who have been through this kind of shit.
so trust me, i'm telling you you can develop a sense of self and purpose and it won't always feel like this.
how do I know? because I've been there, not the exact same position to you, but similar. I am hear to tell you that if you commit to your own survival and recovery, you can get to a point where you have confidence in your own figuring out of the world.
it's a hard road, with many blips, and many very very dark times, but it's worth it.
you can find a way to survive. even the fact people post on here to help you shows you that there is hope for humanity, not all humans are bad, so stop viewing things as black and white. that's just splitting, a coping mechanism. things are nuanced and complicated, human beings aren't simple but there ARE people who care.
if you have a hard time being kind, you know what you need to work on. if you have trust issues, that's okay, everyone does to an extent, but you also need to let your guard down if you are going to START LIVING LIFE FOR YOU. you're not the only person out there with trust issues, for some it is expected. just remember there is no normal, humans are all pretty bizarre, even the ones who are convinced they are normal. start to have faith in yourself.
I hope this helps, i believe in you, we are all one here, we have all been through similar shit. i make it sound like a cult haha, but it's true, we are all on our path to recovery and you can make it, piece by piece, little by little. keep posting, people care here
 
V

Vulcan Spock

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
65
Location
US
Yeah you need to live your life for you. Sounds like a simple cliche but it is actually pretty profound as a lot of people spend most of their lives trying to please others or worried about others' perceptions and views of them etc...

...and the more you brood on the wrongs people have done to you from the past, the more you are giving them power to continue to torment you and ruin your life further...it eats at you and eats at you and eats at you...

I know, easier said than done. That is true. I too struggle with ghosts of the past at times and it is difficult. But the more you reflect on this the more you realize how much power and control you give people over you that arent even directly in your life anymore. Its like letting them stick around in absentia to rub salt in your wounds over and over and over..

Like others say, these people arent worth it....'F..' them...
 
Top