I spent the morning...

P

PillowHugs

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Joined
Aug 22, 2018
Messages
8
thinking about everything I was able to resist in life. I thought about how well I resist sex and women, fed my ego and congratulated myself on being a 24 year old virgin by choice (I can see jokes coming challenging this statement but it’s okay.) As a result I felt so confident that I imagined resisting future temptations like it’s nothing. Suddenly afterwards I experienced feelings of weakness and vivid thoughts of actually hitting on a girl and being persistent enough to violate her (which I would never do) I told myself not to take those thoughts seriously but they became stronger each time I repeated it. Eventually, I brushed it off and told myself “I can dismiss these thoughts if I want to. I’m not capable of shit :D” Feeding my ego more. I then finished breakfast, wiped my plate and immediately after I began wiping it, I thought about smashing it to the ground and along with the thought, I felt a powerful urge to act on it as well. I let the thought and feeling manifest and stood still the entire time wiping the plate like it was nothing. The end result of all of this was me being afraid I lost my mind, a mild but painful headache and ensuing myself that I was sorry for overthinking so deeply and almost going ballistic at home. This is something I was afraid to tell my roommates because I know how crazy this sounds and I would’ve been admitted to a mental hospital.
 
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T

tonga kev

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2013
Messages
161
dont worry, you are just checking out your behaviour parameters, testing the boundaries of who you think you are. You wouldnt be admitted to the hospital as you've got insight into your own mind games. nothing to fear, its all perfectly natural.:)
 
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