I signed up to a free dating site ..

burt tomato

burt tomato

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#1
Meh.
Some girls look and sound great, but instead of feeling relaxed and attracted - I feel stressed out and anxious.

It just makes me feel inferior.

They have photos from social situations where they are happy and smiley. I have not had such photos for over 10 years now.

I live with my dad, in a low paid job with minimal savings. I am not a great catch am I?
 
Yoona~939

Yoona~939

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#2
A feeling shared by many who use these sites... although I'm a woman and things are supposedly easier for me, I haven't had such pictures either, pretty much ever. Online dating can be and very often is, utterly hopeless and just ruins self esteem. People can get obsessed too, with finding the one. I did it for a year, quit a few months ago. Good for you, giving it a shot. There is always that chance of winning the lottery if you buy the ticket, so I think it's worth a go. Some women don't think they're great catches either... like me.
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#3
I think my brother would suit these high achieving women, but he does not appear to be interested in dating. IDK why. Maybe he is a secret dater, but he has never mentioned it.
 
T

Twokiwisandabanana

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#4
Hi burt
women are all so different in wHt they want
Just believe in yourself love yourself
Many women are just looking for love and kindness
Fortune favours the brave
Meet them for coffee and see what happens
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#5
I don''t really know what 'being youself' means. I just like to sit around and vaping. it's not much fun for anybody.

I don't really know about 'loving myself' either. it sounds like too much hard work. meh I am just undateable.
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#6
I signed up to Guardian Soulmates. Maybe it will be better than the mainstream sites.

I read on the BBC that you should aim high, keep messages short and keep trying.

When I am ready perhaps I will give it a go. I may need to change my ad, but I think it is best to be honest from the get-go.

Will see what happens I guess!
 
D

Dulcie

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#7
Meh.
Some girls look and sound great, but instead of feeling relaxed and attracted - I feel stressed out and anxious.

It just makes me feel inferior.

They have photos from social situations where they are happy and smiley. I have not had such photos for over 10 years now.

I live with my dad, in a low paid job with minimal savings. I am not a great catch am I?
You showed courage trying a dating site, but don't be put off by your looks. It's what lies underneath that counts and a woman with insight will recognise that, believe me one will. My daughter though she is still very young chose a boy whose looks she described resembled 'a scrunched up well loved teddy bear'. She called him Ted (his real name was Robert) and she treated him really well. 'Ted' is now dating another girl, bit older but just nice.

As for playing the Lottery, number a bunch of pingpong balls with a waterproof marker (1 to 59, I think?), bung them into the washing machine spin-dryer then extract a ball every 10 seconds. The last time a family member did that they kept winning: £30, £50 and £100. It's worth a try.
 
T

Twokiwisandabanana

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#8
Chemistry is a numbers game
Don't be put off if you meet someone you don't get on with
Just be like NEXT....
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#9
Chemistry is a numbers game
Don't be put off if you meet someone you don't get on with
Just be like NEXT....
Yeah I used to think this back when I was last using these sites over 7 years ago.

IDK, I have had a small amount interest this weekend. Resulting in a possible date next weekend. We chatted on the phone, but she made me depressed about my job. I know my job is hard, but i need to keep my focus otherwise it is depressing.

I wonder it must be easier for women and those types of men that are conventially attrractive. They have much more power I guess.
 
T

Twokiwisandabanana

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#10
I think everyone feels a bit nervous dating
people are so different all you can do is be yourself
If someone doesn't like it that's fine keep looking for someone who does.
Hey looks betray us all in the end it's what's inside that counts.
 
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Mr Ploppy

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#12
Meh.
Some girls look and sound great, but instead of feeling relaxed and attracted - I feel stressed out and anxious.

It just makes me feel inferior.

They have photos from social situations where they are happy and smiley. I have not had such photos for over 10 years now.

I live with my dad, in a low paid job with minimal savings. I am not a great catch am I?
If someone wants you because you’ve got a fantastic house, well paid job and a great car i don’t see the difference between that and prostitution.

No one wants me, well they can piss off.
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#13
I am rubbish with online dating. I already got blocked today from that woman i was speaking to on saturday. At least it was not a protracted saga. I have chatted with women for months and then after one date it's over. I mean that has to be for shallow reasons. It happens so often as well..
 
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Fancyharm

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#14
Good point about the prostitution.

But you just have to keep on looking, don't give up is the key.

I often wonder in today's world of online dating whether we expect too much from ourselves. Even though it seems that online dating provides a 'quantity of people' and this should make things easier, we still have to just 'click' with someone in order for things to work out. So therefore we have to go through a lot more rejection and this puts people off.
 
D

Dulcie

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#15
I am rubbish with online dating. I already got blocked today from that woman i was speaking to on saturday. At least it was not a protracted saga. I have chatted with women for months and then after one date it's over. I mean that has to be for shallow reasons. It happens so often as well..
That was awful being blocked like that and for no concrete reason. Still, it happens and one is left wondering why. Take heart, Burt, it's not you. Just some flibbertigibbet woman with ants in her pants.
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#16
That was awful being blocked like that and for no concrete reason. Still, it happens and one is left wondering why. Take heart, Burt, it's not you. Just some flibbertigibbet woman with ants in her pants.
I can tell you it is really hard to stop being a misogynist. But I am not, I have met some kind women in real life.. Maybe it is just the weirdness of dating online that brings out a sort of 'shopping' mentality. Only perfect will do.

I am not a male stereotype, I am a fucked up misfit just doing my own thing.
 
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Dulcie

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#17
I can tell you it is really hard to stop being a misogynist. But I am not, I have met some kind women in real life.. Maybe it is just the weirdness of dating online that brings out a sort of 'shopping' mentality. Only perfect will do.

I am not a male stereotype, I am a fucked up misfit just doing my own thing.
You're not fkcd up or a misfit. It's perfectly good being an individualist, and being a free thinker is cool. But just because others (meaning women) you're talking to in this dating site don't seem to understand, then keep plugging away until you do.

Others may be wanting the 'perfect' person, but they'll be sadly misinformed because there is no such thing as the perfect other. Because we all have faults. If other women can't see that, they obvs they're not the one for you. :)
 
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Dulcie

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#19
thanks dulcie. I think you are right
Just keep plodding on.

Those in the dating site who block/dump you were never meant to be your friend. Except there could be someone else. Maybe even a nerd with a big heart. You'll soon get to know who the time wasters are.

A good point is when someone gushes praise yet, hardly knows you or has been writing for a long time, be wary of them. Even Peggy who has pen pals noticed this, and she's right.

I notice that you write well. Mibba the creative writing community might be worth a look at. It's an interesting site all the same. You might like it. :)

Mibba: Creative writing
 
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burt tomato

burt tomato

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#20
Guardian Soulmates has a 50% discount this weekend. I am wondering whether to subscribe. :scratch: