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I shouldn’t feel like this, but I do.

H

Happybutsuffer

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Dec 21, 2020
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Worcester
Hi people, I wanted to share my experiences to see if others are/were suffering with a similar condition as me. I’m currently getting telephone support from our national health system, it’s described as CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and is supposed to be the most effective treatment for anxiety disorders. So far I’ve had 6-7 sessions and I feel no better at all, absolutely no different, all I’ve gained is an understanding of why I may be worrying more than I need to, some of this I’ve already learnt from doing my own studies over the years.
I’ve suffered with anxiety issues for 15+ years now and it’s horrendous, symptoms started and this kind of order: - stomach pains/IBS, had numerous tests to prove I was physically fine. Next was chronic headaches and fatigue/low mood, then, and by far the worst of all, regulator panic attacks, heart palpitations, struggling to breathe, cannot stay asleep at night, low sex drive, no energy etc.
I would really like to know how others are coping and any recommendations for treatment which are proven to work. I’ve come up with reasons in my past which contribute to my condition but I lead a great life now. I have a beautiful wife and daughter, so proud of them, I am generally happy with that, although I think I am? I should be as it’s what I was missing. I have some normal stresses in my life such as moving house, but who doesn’t??
Every day I’m facing challenges, as soon as I try and relax it feels like I’m wearing steel belts around my chest, I have to be active otherwise I feel a panic coming on and I cannot breathe. There just has to be otters in my position who have had this and beaten it? I’d love to hear from you.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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I wonder where the idea, "I shouldn't feel as I do" comes from. Lots of people say this. They say, well, things are OK on the outside, why do I not feel good? We have these ideas about how one should feel based on ... I'm not sure what. But the feelings don't really care about our ideas about what they should or shouldn't be. It's confusing to me.
 
H

Happybutsuffer

New member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Worcester
I wonder where the idea, "I shouldn't feel as I do" comes from. Lots of people say this. They say, well, things are OK on the outside, why do I not feel good? We have these ideas about how one should feel based on ... I'm not sure what. But the feelings don't really care about our ideas about what they should or shouldn't be. It's confusing to me.
I try to relate to knowing that I haven’t always felt like this, I remember days when I was much younger and having some bad moments, I never felt like this, my late teens were full of ups and downs for various reasons but I didn’t have feelings like I do nowadays. Today’s life is much happier, still some low points but I’m sure it’s normal for everyone to have these. Issue is today I’m facing physical discomfort to let me know when things aren’t quite right, I could deal with it years ago, but not being able to breathe over daily challenges is really hard.
 
GeminiMoon

GeminiMoon

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Aug 5, 2020
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353
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Belgium
Your anxiety sounds quite severe from your description. It is not suprising that CBT is not having much affect 'yet'. CBT is based on buddhist practices but without the philosopy. Maybe you could read up on buddhism. I visited thailand which is almost entirely buddhist country and everyone is so calm. Even with the oppressive heat, widespread poverty and streets that smelled of sewerage. I felt embarassed in the daily traffic when I started to feel agitated.

Meditation is a bit different to CBT. It is more about observing your thoughts instead of trying to control them. Through observation and awareness comes the ability to control thoughts. I'd recommend practicing meditation aswell to lessen the symptoms before trying to tackle the anxiety.
 
H

Happybutsuffer

New member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Worcester
Your anxiety sounds quite severe from your description. It is not suprising that CBT is not having much affect 'yet'. CBT is based on buddhist practices but without the philosopy. Maybe you could read up on buddhism. I visited thailand which is almost entirely buddhist country and everyone is so calm. Even with the oppressive heat, widespread poverty and streets that smelled of sewerage. I felt embarassed in the daily traffic when I started to feel agitated.

Meditation is a bit different to CBT. It is more about observing your thoughts instead of trying to control them. Through observation and awareness comes the ability to control thoughts. I'd recommend practicing meditation aswell to lessen the symptoms before trying to tackle the anxiety.
Thanks, I will try this, I had briefly tried self meditation sessions using the ‘calm’ app and found they help, I must try and do more of these and schedule a routine for them.
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

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Dec 9, 2020
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1,314
Location
Canada
Thanks, I will try this, I had briefly tried self meditation sessions using the ‘calm’ app and found they help, I must try and do more of these and schedule a routine for them.
dim lights, close your eyes, and gaze into the eyelids. into the blackness.

now try and find the body memory. and see it as such.

gazing into the eye lids look for your body. for example hold up your hand in front of the closed eyelids. can you see it? a very faint image. that is the body memory. which is in the mind.

but the hand is in front of you. which is the mind, so the mind is in front of you. so you can see that the mind exists outside of the body.

the mind is creating the body memory and mistaking it for the real thing.

see if you can experience consciousness without the body being there.

when the mind sees that it is creating the body it can stop. and there can be a bodiless consciousness. the mind will then see the consciousness as its true source and not the body.

source = self

which results in an egoless state. ego is when the mind is fabricating its own false source within itself. which is the body memory. this is the root of the ego. from that starting point the mind builds up a big mess of an identity within itself, which leads to fear and shame. constant anxiety.
 
M

Mel123

Active member
Joined
May 12, 2020
Messages
25
Location
USA
Wanted to say I've had little luck with CBT as well. I have up pretty quickly on it as I felt it was making me feel even worse. I've had smiley better luck keeping small but obtainable routines in place in my life for normality. Also taking meds to try and help curb the anxiety. But I think it's probably one of those things that just takes a lot of time to be effective. With the state of how things are in the world right now it's pretty hard to find anything that helps..
 

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