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i scare myself, i am about to lose everything

T

tryingtogetbetter

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Joined
Feb 5, 2021
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7
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Connecticut
I have known there was something wrong with my -- for as long as I can remember. I gave birth to twin girls over 7 months ago, their dad... the man I love has had enough of me. I have joined dbt therapy i have been sober for two years-- I love being a mother-- but i take out so much on him. I know i am wrong and now when he has checked out and wanting to leave IM terryfied. I dont want him to leave I dont want him to take my children I have already started therapy but im obviously still very sick. I am writing this crying histerically after trying to get through to a suicide hotline. I want to get better but i fear it is too late now with my partner i dont know how i am going to get through this for my children i am so scared. i dontblame him for leaving i was never much to love anyway
 
Z

Zoe1

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Jul 8, 2019
Messages
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hi tryingtogetbetter :welcome: !

I think its unlikely he can take your children away
its not that easy to find them a foster home
and its unlikely you would find yourself in that position

I hope you find it helpful here


:grouphug:
 
T

tryingtogetbetter

Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2021
Messages
7
Location
Connecticut
hi tryingtogetbetter :welcome: !

I think its unlikely he can take your children away
its not that easy to find them a foster home
and its unlikely you would find yourself in that position

I hope you find it helpful here


:grouphug:
thank you so much for reaCHING out zoe i appreciate it
 
Z

Zoe1

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thank you

what is the significance of the word CHING you have emphasised ?
 
T

tryingtogetbetter

Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2021
Messages
7
Location
Connecticut
thank you

what is the significance of the word CHING you have emphasised ?
accidentally puts on the caps I am sorry i am very emotional right now and mis typing
 
Z

Zoe1

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oh ok I thought you meant you were using the I Ching !

its ok to feel emotional
 
T

tryingtogetbetter

Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2021
Messages
7
Location
Connecticut
i dont know how i am going to be able to get through this i know i have gotten "through" so many things before. and i have to be strong for my kids but i am so scared i am scared that i am feeling this need to just be done with myself. i dont want to feel like this anymore
 
C

celticlass

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Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
1,217
Location
Scotland
I'm afraid you have to get through this as you have two babies depending on you. They are your firm foundation for a future which may not include their Dad as your partner. I don't know what time it is with you, but over here it is 8.30 at night. If I were in your shoes I would be breaking the rest of this day into 1 hour slots and taking each one that passes as a stepping stone towards bedtime. You will have certain caring tasks to do for the twins and they will need fed and changed. Girls, boys or one of each? How special! Turn your focus to them. You may have a friend or relative you can turn to for moral support, Try to get some food in to yourself. Maybe get practical. Make a list of things you think will be difficult if you are on your own with the babies - although their Dad will hopefully be involved in their lives and care. Over the next week, as you settle down to your situation, you can start to look for possible answers to the difficulties you face. This is what life is about. Instead of panicking and breaking down, we have to step up to the mark. No, it is not going to be easy but you can make it through!
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Forum Guide
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Nov 10, 2019
Messages
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England
Hello, How are you doing now?
Did you manage to get through to the suicide hotline?

I can understand how desperate you are feeling. Is it possible for your partner to have breaks on a regular basis to give yourselves time to rest and be alone? I'm not explaining myself well but maybe if he has family or friends close by, perhaps he could stay overnight with them a couple of times a week just to get some respite from your symptoms. He would then come home to you with his batteries recharged and ready to support you and the babies. It is just an idea.

When life seems impossible to fix, we can become suicidal as a way out of it.

Can you get out for a walk with the pram? I start the day with a walk and it really clears my head.

Are you eating well too? A poor diet can really affect mood and worsen symptoms of your illness.

Perhaps you could also have an afternoon off once a week or more, to recharge your batteries and be yourself again, without pressure of babies and partner.
 
HiImAnn

HiImAnn

Active member
Joined
Jan 15, 2021
Messages
35
Location
Minnesota
You are incredibly strong and have alot of offer the world and your family. Things will work out for the best. Have faith in the progress youve made!
 
L

Lostlady333

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
225
Location
Christchurch
I have known there was something wrong with my -- for as long as I can remember. I gave birth to twin girls over 7 months ago, their dad... the man I love has had enough of me. I have joined dbt therapy i have been sober for two years-- I love being a mother-- but i take out so much on him. I know i am wrong and now when he has checked out and wanting to leave IM terryfied. I dont want him to leave I dont want him to take my children I have already started therapy but im obviously still very sick. I am writing this crying histerically after trying to get through to a suicide hotline. I want to get better but i fear it is too late now with my partner i dont know how i am going to get through this for my children i am so scared. i dontblame him for leaving i was never much to love anyway
Honey, don’t be so hard on yourself. Giving birth to twins must be so extremely hard. Have you been able to have a really in-depth conversation with your partner as to what’s going on with you, in your mind. Your thoughts and feelings. And your struggles. I can tell you love your children and partner deeply. Sometimes we just need a bit of extra help, family or a well deserved break for yourself like daycare for the babies, for a few hours each day. We all deserve and need some time for ourselves.
 
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