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I ruined my life

D

Depressedwolf

New member
Joined
Feb 21, 2021
Messages
1
Location
Portland oregon
Idk if this is the right place to post this but I’m 27(m)and I’m so dumb, I ruined my life and I don’t know how to go on. I have wasted my life playing video games and doing nothing. I graduated high school with no direction, I was average intelligence I would say(I always thought I was smarter) but I never had any direction or goals and I had friends but something happened where I became self conscious all the time so I lost my friends and I lived at home with my parents and I started drinking all the time and playing video games. I’ve had a basic delivery job but then I lost that and I kept drinking and playing video games doing nothing in life and I feel like I’ve dulled my mind to the point where I’m mentally handicapped, my memory is trash and I literally can’t remember basic skills, and I forgot how to be human and interact with people, I feel like I don’t even have a high school education anymore that’s how bad my memory is. I quit drinking so much but I’ve just been in this cycle where I start feeling bad so I zone out and play video games to ignore the pain. I hate living with this realization where I destroyed my life and I’ll always be this dummy that’s worthless I had so much potential for things but I had no confidence that I convinced my self I was good for nothing and now I actually am. How am I supposed to get a relationship when my life story is a bum who played video games his whole life. I want to go to college and become somebody but my minds not even capable. I’m add and I’m sure low iq. Sorry for this long rant but I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep living with no hope and nothing to look forward too the rest of my life
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
1,779
Location
Canada
Idk if this is the right place to post this but I’m 27(m)and I’m so dumb, I ruined my life and I don’t know how to go on. I have wasted my life playing video games and doing nothing. I graduated high school with no direction, I was average intelligence I would say(I always thought I was smarter) but I never had any direction or goals and I had friends but something happened where I became self conscious all the time so I lost my friends and I lived at home with my parents and I started drinking all the time and playing video games. I’ve had a basic delivery job but then I lost that and I kept drinking and playing video games doing nothing in life and I feel like I’ve dulled my mind to the point where I’m mentally handicapped, my memory is trash and I literally can’t remember basic skills, and I forgot how to be human and interact with people, I feel like I don’t even have a high school education anymore that’s how bad my memory is. I quit drinking so much but I’ve just been in this cycle where I start feeling bad so I zone out and play video games to ignore the pain. I hate living with this realization where I destroyed my life and I’ll always be this dummy that’s worthless I had so much potential for things but I had no confidence that I convinced my self I was good for nothing and now I actually am. How am I supposed to get a relationship when my life story is a bum who played video games his whole life. I want to go to college and become somebody but my minds not even capable. I’m add and I’m sure low iq. Sorry for this long rant but I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep living with no hope and nothing to look forward too the rest of my life
ive always found movies to be a better time waster then video games. because at least with movies you are learning things about life scenarios. whereas with games your not really learning anything. but nowadays some of these games have big stories in them but it still takes alot longer to finish a game then a movie.
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
18,290
Location
Nowhere
hi Depressedwolf :welcome:

you can get it all back and more by going to Alcoholics Anonymous
its free, there is no commitment and it works
for millions of people around the world have found freedom that way

I hope you find the forum helpful as well


:grouphug:🕯
 
soul searching

soul searching

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
1,052
Location
Clearwater, Florida
Hi Depressedwolf! :welcome:to the forum! So sorry you are in such a bad place! I would guess you could benefitt from professional help for depression- a therapist and a psychologist(for possible meds). You are so young. Don't say your life is over! You have plenty of time for everything. It's ok to start a little late. Try to stop beating yourself up. Be nice to yourself. You can do this. Even the longest journey begins with a single step!:grouphug:
 
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
1,271
Location
Scotland
Well I think you can have a chance at a good life still! Most likely the drinking does need to stop though and I say that as an alcoholic in recovery 5 years now and heading safely for a 6th. When we stop heavy drinking our mind is still in a mess. Oh it can take a long time to be able to think straight again. You would most likely benefit enormously by attending AA. I did but of course
everybody who wants to stop is welcome. You will gain friends who can give their views and support you through your journey to wellness. A good and immediate starting point.
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
465
Location
Orleans vermont.
I too am a gamer and im also a science nut. You might feel like you lost all the skills you acquired but you didnt. They just dulled without being used, your rusty. If you want to go to college hop on the internet and youtube some senior year work to refresh. It will be really hard at first but it gets easier. Remember your first fps? I bet it was much harder then than it is now. Right now your brain is wired to the game style you play, you need to add mire wires to reconnect highschool education back in.

At the age of 27 your life is most certainly not over. Im 36, disabled and broken and i still find time to learn. Your life could last well into your 80s to 90s. As covid has taught us a year can last forever. You have plenty of time.
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
493
Location
Philippines
Know that you were created to have a good life and be happy. You have it in you to succeed.

What are you good at? What do you love doing? Is it cooking, baking, doing arts and crafts? Whatever it is, do it for it will make you happy and even be successful.

Listen to uplifting and encouraging songs on youtube. Music helps. Listen every day.
 
W

Whathappenedgeez

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2021
Messages
17
Location
Calgary edmonton
I'm the same way. I became self conscious around highschool and it made me not work and be almost a shut in. I can relate to u alot because that's all I did was play video games. I'm thinking about trying new medication. I think that could be an option for you
 
T

ThinkingOfAUserName

Active member
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
42
Location
Mexico
27, you are so young, don't give up. Many of us have had to start all over again from scratch at 35, 40, 60. It can be done, but you need a real commitment with yourself, to get the help you need, a 12 step program can help you with alcohol and also the gaming. Then you can start with things that make you feel useful, a part time job, volunteering, being a part of something in real life. A therapist would be a good idea too. Once you leave the virtual world and start talking to people IRL, new doors will open up. But you have to give yourself a chance.
 
K

khuang

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
1,093
Location
Avenue Q in the US
Honestly I don’t see the problem with playing video games a few hours a day. Letting the past time take over your life is a major concern though. And excessively drinking is never a good thing. I agree with everyone else that you really should go to an AA meeting and try to get your drinking problem under control. As a gamer myself, I typically play a lot on the weekends but I pace myself and take breaks for about an hour or so and watch YouTube videos or browse the Internet during that break while also taking the time to get something to eat. You can easily cook yourself a nice meal and still have some game time. Set a cutoff time at night so you can get plenty of sleep. And you can learn how to play video games without drinking and in the process find yourself getting much better at playing them because you are sober and your reflexes are much sharper and you can navigate the games much more easily. As for human interactions, you could try to find Facebook groups for multiplayer games and see if anyone is in your local area who you could play with. Getting together with others to play Mario Kart or Super Smash Bros is very common and are more enjoyable to play when you can play these games with your friends. Even online multiplayer can create a sense of connection.
 
P

Peppermint

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 13, 2020
Messages
91
Location
Somewhere
27 is still so young...even though it might not feel like it. You can turn your life around.

It good you recognise drinking is a problem. I hope you do seek help. There's a lot of help out there for those with drinking problems. I'd say attending meetings would be good for you.

You have had a job in your life and some work experience so that's a positive too. That might make it a little easier to get another job.
 
HLon99

HLon99

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
816
Location
London, UK
I understand your concerns, but there is nothing that you have said that can't be fixed. I know its a cliché to say that you are still young, but you are. And even if you weren't its never too late to make changes. When I started having problems with my mental health and subsequently had to drop out of university, I also thought that it would be the end me. But it wasn't. Eventually, I got the help that I needed and although it was not easy and took a lot of time and effort, I gradually started getting better. I reapplied to uni last december and got in. I'm back to studying now and looking forward to resuming my education in September. I too feel like I lost a lot of time, I'm 22 and most of my friends have graduated and some are in jobs. However, this is irrelevant since every person has their own individual paths in life. More imortantly, not all that time was wasted and I am learning a lot of things about my self in the process of recovery and hopefully some good can come of that.

My point is that you and anyone else struggling with whatever demons have the power in themselves to make a change. Its good that you stopped drinking, but you need to go further than that. It sounds like you are struggling with depression and you need to seek help for that. You won't be able to move forward with your mind constantly dragging you back to a dark place. Get yourself into therapy, and if necessary see a psychiatrist about medication. Depression takes a lot out of you, but its nothing that is unrecoverable. With the right help, your mind and your cognitive faculties will be restored and you will once again be able to persue whatever goals/targets in life that you have. As for the rest, its in your hands to decide what direction you want to take in life, be it in education, career family or anything else. In therapy, through a process of self-discovery you will be able to find this path and the rest will be up to you. As the old saying goes, the teacher can open the door, but its up to the student to walk through it.
 
M

matt42069

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
45
Location
Lithuania
Idk if this is the right place to post this but I’m 27(m)and I’m so dumb, I ruined my life and I don’t know how to go on. I have wasted my life playing video games and doing nothing. I graduated high school with no direction, I was average intelligence I would say(I always thought I was smarter) but I never had any direction or goals and I had friends but something happened where I became self conscious all the time so I lost my friends and I lived at home with my parents and I started drinking all the time and playing video games. I’ve had a basic delivery job but then I lost that and I kept drinking and playing video games doing nothing in life and I feel like I’ve dulled my mind to the point where I’m mentally handicapped, my memory is trash and I literally can’t remember basic skills, and I forgot how to be human and interact with people, I feel like I don’t even have a high school education anymore that’s how bad my memory is. I quit drinking so much but I’ve just been in this cycle where I start feeling bad so I zone out and play video games to ignore the pain. I hate living with this realization where I destroyed my life and I’ll always be this dummy that’s worthless I had so much potential for things but I had no confidence that I convinced my self I was good for nothing and now I actually am. How am I supposed to get a relationship when my life story is a bum who played video games his whole life. I want to go to college and become somebody but my minds not even capable. I’m add and I’m sure low iq. Sorry for this long rant but I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep living with no hope and nothing to look forward too the rest of my life
Wow , thats the first post that i can finally relate to . I have wasted my life for games too , i always had trouble socializing never had many good friends and i just kept wasting that time on video games hoping that things will go as i want without me even trying i wasnt realising then that i was falling in this hole from which theres low chance to climb out from . Me too convinced myself that iam worthless idk how much of capable person i was before all video games but it just feels right now like iam like lesser version of smth that wasnt even perfect . Worst thing now even games dont bring me any joy , at first they were like a rock but now its just smth that keeps sinking me . idk how much of a help this post is but at least you'll know ur not the only one with this problem . Its good that u still have some ambitions to at least want to go to college im myself cant imagine going to college when i spent so mcu htiem socialy isolated even if it would improve my life . I wish things will turn out for u .
 
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