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I relapsed

P

Pffft

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
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1,059
So I relapsed last night and harmed myself. To be honest I needed someone to talk to and earlier in the day I tried speaking to a friend but didn't really get much back. I tried talking to a charity but didn't hear back from them and they don't operate 24/7. This charity does get busy and they do support me so I know they genuinely were busy. I felt vulnerable and reaching out for help to not get any left me with no other option. I don't feel like reaching out anymore. I just don't see the point. When I say reaching out I mean in the real world. The thoughts of self harming again have been on the back of my mind and my thoughts have been wandering to it on quite a few occasions during today. A part of me feels like crying but another part of me feels like self harming again. If it wasn't for the scars I get then I wouldn't be bothered but I hate the scars I already have.
 
Annelis

Annelis

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Dec 26, 2019
Messages
91
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Slovakia
I know how hard it is to resist, when it comes to you throughout the day and even if you seek help and support none comes. I think no one can blame you for this so you shouldn't be hard on yourself either.
What helped me to not harm myself when I felt like I really want to do something like that was when a friend forced me to look at the photo of me when I was little and to say to the kid on the photo that I am going to harm it. Of course I couldn't do that. Why would I harm a child? And realising it was the same person I was so much wanting to harm at the present time made me not do it.
Also there are ways of "less harmful self harm" if it can be called like that, just stuff you do instead when you really can't resist and it doesn't leave scars, just relieves your emotions, so perhaps you could try that if you get into another such time.
Take care :hug:
 
P

Pffft

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I didn't think of doing something like that. Did you find it made a big difference or was it still difficult not to self harm? I just feel like I deserve it. My friend that I spoke to has been saying she is focusing on herself (she has met a few guys and they have all ended up messing her about). But because she has said that and she hasn't really been massively interested in how I feel. I feel like I have no friends to talk to so this doesn't help. I have friends but I don't think they will get it and I don't want to fall in the trap of being a bit open and then putting on them too much.
 
Annelis

Annelis

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Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
91
Location
Slovakia
Well it made me not do anything very bad to myself... Yet.
 
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