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I relapsed after three years of being clean

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globallydaniel

New member
Joined
Sep 4, 2020
Messages
4
Location
The United States
hey everyone. this is my first time posting so im sorry if this is a little to rambley or confusing. but, like the title says, i relapsed a few days ago after being clean for around three years. for some backround, i have depression and social anxiety, and i go to therapy about once every two weeks. i havent told my therapist about the relapse even though i know i should. i still live with my parents and i know itd only worry them if they find out. so, since i havent told my therapist, i have no one to really talk about it with because i have no friends, at least irl. but, anyways, with my relapse, i dont even know what caused me to do it. i was feeling overwhelmed, and sad, and unwanted, so i think i just did it without really thinking of the consequences. ive been self-harming multiple times a day, and everyday since starting again, and its on my mind constantly. i try to distract myself with youtube or books or even studying, but nothing really clears my mind. i try talking to my online friends but in the end, i just feel like they dont want to talk to me or im bringing them down.
i dont know why, but ive been feeling really drained since i started self-harming again. while doing it i feel really good and my mind is empty, but as soon as ive returned to whatever i was doing before, i just feel so tired and i just want to go back to sleep. ive been feeling more suicidal too. i know i wouldnt actually do anything, but it just seems like ive been thinkig about doing it a lot more, which is unnerving to say the least. so, i guess thats really all i have to say. if anyone has any advice or just anything to say, please do. id love to hear what you have to say or if i could help out with anything. <3
 
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saha

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 3, 2020
Messages
61
Location
India
hey everyone. this is my first time posting so im sorry if this is a little to rambley or confusing. but, like the title says, i relapsed a few days ago after being clean for around three years. for some backround, i have depression and social anxiety, and i go to therapy about once every two weeks. i havent told my therapist about the relapse even though i know i should. i still live with my parents and i know itd only worry them if they find out. so, since i havent told my therapist, i have no one to really talk about it with because i have no friends, at least irl. but, anyways, with my relapse, i dont even know what caused me to do it. i was feeling overwhelmed, and sad, and unwanted, so i think i just did it without really thinking of the consequences. ive been self-harming multiple times a day, and everyday since starting again, and its on my mind constantly. i try to distract myself with youtube or books or even studying, but nothing really clears my mind. i try talking to my online friends but in the end, i just feel like they dont want to talk to me or im bringing them down.
i dont know why, but ive been feeling really drained since i started self-harming again. while doing it i feel really good and my mind is empty, but as soon as ive returned to whatever i was doing before, i just feel so tired and i just want to go back to sleep. ive been feeling more suicidal too. i know i wouldnt actually do anything, but it just seems like ive been thinkig about doing it a lot more, which is unnerving to say the least. so, i guess thats really all i have to say. if anyone has any advice or just anything to say, please do. id love to hear what you have to say or if i could help out with anything. <3
Once I was alcohol addict . Now it's been around 4 yrs I am clean and I don't feel the need cause I filled my life with happiness . How did I do it? The answer is through meditation . I know what are you feeling right now . Trust me I had the same experience with me . Depression , anxiety will make you feel bad yourself . It will push you at the edge and you will start using again . After using you will feel guilty then you will use again not to feel anything . This is the pattern I know . To overcome this pattern first be free from depression , anxiety through meditation . It's also a drug that cures every pain . It helped me . For you it will be very difficult to concentrate but try it again and again and again and again and again . Repeat this process no matter how many times you fail . Do you know how many times I fail to clam down my anxiety attacks . How many years I took to recover my injuries , pains . It's been 5 yrs I am trying . First I thought I will never overcome my anxiety , my addiction . Then very very slowly I recovered . I recovered my addictions but still I get anxiety attacks . I am still fighting every day , every hour , every minute , every second . Sometimes I fail but still I get up and I fight . You have to fight it . TRY TRY TRY . If I can fight it then you can .
 
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globallydaniel

New member
Joined
Sep 4, 2020
Messages
4
Location
The United States
Once I was alcohol addict . Now it's been around 4 yrs I am clean and I don't feel the need cause I filled my life with happiness . How did I do it? The answer is through meditation . I know what are you feeling right now . Trust me I had the same experience with me . Depression , anxiety will make you feel bad yourself . It will push you at the edge and you will start using again . After using you will feel guilty then you will use again not to feel anything . This is the pattern I know . To overcome this pattern first be free from depression , anxiety through meditation . It's also a drug that cures every pain . It helped me . For you it will be very difficult to concentrate but try it again and again and again and again and again . Repeat this process no matter how many times you fail . Do you know how many times I fail to clam down my anxiety attacks . How many years I took to recover my injuries , pains . It's been 5 yrs I am trying . First I thought I will never overcome my anxiety , my addiction . Then very very slowly I recovered . I recovered my addictions but still I get anxiety attacks . I am still fighting every day , every hour , every minute , every second . Sometimes I fail but still I get up and I fight . You have to fight it . TRY TRY TRY . If I can fight it then you can .
thank you for the suggestion! im really happy that you overcame your addiction :). i will give meditation a go and see what happens. thank you again for the kind words, it means a lot and i wish you the best! <3
 
S

saha

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 3, 2020
Messages
61
Location
India
thank you for the suggestion! im really happy that you overcame your addiction :). i will give meditation a go and see what happens. thank you again for the kind words, it means a lot and i wish you the best! <3
I am with you :) . Don't feel alone :) . Always share your thoughts . I will try my best to help you . My wish for you is for God to uplift you more and bless you with everything that you desire in your life the most :)
 
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Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
620
Location
UK
Its like an addiction, once we stop is easier to stay away at first, but body cravings start to kick in, because we are used to doing the wrong thing, and the body adjusts to what we do. That can be considered a blessing and a curse. A blessing because its motivation and creates standards, but a curse because it can become difficult to stop. The body adjusts to good things and bad things we do with our bodies.
 
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