• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

i really wish i could just be really vulnerable to someone

calmleaves

calmleaves

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 30, 2021
Messages
491
Location
somewhere in paradise
a lot of times i feel so sad, powerless, lonely, frustated and desperate. i really wish i can have someone to talk to that i can be very vulnerable too... like asking for a hug... just being really open and vulnerable than i can ever be to most people. i'm so sick of sucking it up alone, bottled it up alone, wipe my own tears, hug myself and tell myself it's all gonna be okay. when in fact it's never ever gone better.

i don't know what i did wrong in life to deserve everything. i don't know what i did in life that makes family and everyone hates me. i don't know what i did in life that makes everyone leave me, taken advantage of me, ghost me, hurt me...

i've tried my best for everyone, for everything. it's never enough. i've tried looking for friends for years... years... nobody ever stay, most people hurt me so much. i hate when people make promises they can't keep, or when they say sweet things about me only to thrown me to the trash in the end. it's like once people done with me, they can just throw me to the trash even after they know how much i've been through.

I hate when they pity me at first because of my bad experiences, and then the next they close their eyes and pretend they never heard such a thing and left me forever.

i just want to have.. friends... family... parents...
am i that unlovable?
what did i do wrong?
is it because i'm too weak? too naive? too dumb?
why can't anyone just be nice and treat me like a kid...
i just want to be treated with love and kindness, is it that hard...?

people say this is it. this is just what life can offer to me. it's obviously not like in social media, wattpad or movies where i see people having so many bestfriends, families that they can lean on to. people say we born alone and we will die alone as well so we just have to accept it. seriously? i bet these people who said it aren't even alone in real life as well... i don't want to be alone, why should i? why do they think i can cope being alone? do they really think i can survive without support?

it's always blown my mind of how selfish human is. even though so many people know what i've been through, they still chose to hurt me, bully me, ghost me, taken advantage of me...
at this point i really not surprised anymore... i guess this is just how the reality of life is..
people are selfish and they don't care about what i've been through. they don't care to treat me with love, care and passion. they don't care if i hurt myself.
i wonder how long it takes for people to notice... if i just... disappear.
 
SoftRain

SoftRain

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2016
Messages
3,432
Location
sillyville, USA
I am so sorry calmleaves. I hate you feel so alone. I want to send you a virtual hug. I would give you a real one if I could.
 
Bod

Bod

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
5,968
Location
Feel OK
Hi calmleaves, do you mind if I ask how old you are please ?
If you find that wrong then I am sorry.
 
calmleaves

calmleaves

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 30, 2021
Messages
491
Location
somewhere in paradise
I am so sorry calmleaves. I hate you feel so alone. I want to send you a virtual hug. I would give you a real one if I could.
hiiii softrain thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and responding to it, i really appreciate it :)
a virtual hug is very much appreciated! thank you so much <3
 
calmleaves

calmleaves

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 30, 2021
Messages
491
Location
somewhere in paradise
Hi calmleaves, do you mind if I ask how old you are please ?
If you find that wrong then I am sorry.
hii bod! i am 20.
no no it's fine, you can ask me anything, don't worry about it :)
thank you for taking the time to read my post and responding to it as always :) i really appreciate it :)
 
Bod

Bod

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
5,968
Location
Feel OK
hii bod! i am 20.
no no it's fine, you can ask me anything, don't worry about it :)
thank you for taking the time to read my post and responding to it as always :) i really appreciate it :)
Thank you very much calmleaves, I will reread it again then post my thoughts.
 
T

Tombomb

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 25, 2018
Messages
1,623
Usually I take offend of people giving me Advice but for some reason I don’t take offense. From u all
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
Lilly776 feeling really bad any help please Mental Health Experiences 1
P Really struggling Mental Health Experiences 4
Marigold Dip Third week of no CBT and finding things really difficult Mental Health Experiences 5
B I have realised that I don't really understand the majority of people Mental Health Experiences 11
Hello513 I am getting really sick of people who lack self awareness. Mental Health Experiences 4
Ineedhelp2921 Really bad chest pains Mental Health Experiences 5
Dav Really depressed at the moment Mental Health Experiences 52
L My intrusive thoughts are getting really bad again Mental Health Experiences 1
L I'm Really Upset Mental Health Experiences 5
L I did a really stupid thing Mental Health Experiences 8
L I feel really hurt... Mental Health Experiences 17
L DO PEOPLE ON HERE REALLY CARE? Mental Health Experiences 41
N I am really depressed & don't want to live. My parents have disabled certain websites from my laptop based on keywor. So, i can't easily access help. Mental Health Experiences 7
F I really hate myself. Mental Health Experiences 13
Ineedhelp2921 I'm really hurt Mental Health Experiences 7
O Do I have high end autism or am I just really emotional due to something I know about? Mental Health Experiences 4
D I really hate my mom Mental Health Experiences 5
L Having a really hard time - Advice on getting over someone? Mental Health Experiences 15
Bluejay7500 I’m really hard at taking Mental Health Experiences 15
hORIzonFINK210 So what really helps? Mental Health Experiences 3
elliepaige20 Having a really hard time - Heartbroken & devastated Mental Health Experiences 16
A Work lied and making me really depressed Mental Health Experiences 8
R Not really sure what to do right now Mental Health Experiences 7
A Really struggling to get on with people... Mental Health Experiences 4
H Dont really know what to do Mental Health Experiences 9
K I really need to talk Mental Health Experiences 35
N Medication changed, lowered, and now I get scared really easy Mental Health Experiences 5
Eleison I'm really not ok Mental Health Experiences 7
Newstartformetoday Is it really that bad to sometimes feel Sad Mental Health Experiences 1
B Do I really have the right? Mental Health Experiences 1
S Do normal people really act like this? Mental Health Experiences 5
elliepaige20 Certain person I really don't want to see... Mental Health Experiences 8
C Really confused...There are people inside my head Mental Health Experiences 4
LouisaMogs I’m really not good today. Mental Health Experiences 5
C I’m really scared and I don’t know what to do? Mental Health Experiences 7
danielgain Life is really getting me down Mental Health Experiences 5
M That really bad never-ending flu Mental Health Experiences 1
aspieguy1984 Ive been really struggling lately.... Mental Health Experiences 2
M ECT is really helping Mental Health Experiences 3
GhostRagdoll I'm not sure what's really wrong Mental Health Experiences 1
B I'm really scared Mental Health Experiences 2
U need help, having a really hard time right now Mental Health Experiences 3
C I still really dont have any help Mental Health Experiences 1
M Really need to find a vent. So lost and detatched. Mental Health Experiences 3
Not_Crazy_Yet When did you first realize you really were thru the looking Glass? Mental Health Experiences 14
Shana09 What is going on with me, am I just a really bad person? Mental Health Experiences 5
E In a really dark place. Mental Health Experiences 10
valleygirl A Really Hard Day Mental Health Experiences 8
S I don't really know what to do anymore. Mental Health Experiences 3
Soul_Deeps I don't know, I can't really see anything that is worth living for. Mental Health Experiences 6

Similar threads

Top