I really want to give up

Shana09

Shana09

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Mar 18, 2017
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West Midlands
I'm sick of everything in my life. I'm sick of being constantly afraid, of having a lump in my throat, of wanting to scream until this feeling leaves my head forever.
I want to end my life but I'm too scared to do that too. I'm jealous of people who know the difference between reality and not reality and don't have to worry about anything and just go with the flow.
My dad is putting pressure on all of us too and it's taking a toll on me. He's angry because he's the sole earner in our family and my mum doesn't work... I'm scared he's planning to hurt her or kill her...
 
Shana09

Shana09

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Joined
Mar 18, 2017
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Location
West Midlands
My doctors are also trying to control what I think and I'm not lying about this, it's not because of an illness, it's true and it kills me when no one believes me
Please help me 😭
 
Amorerose

Amorerose

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Hey Shana,

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Pressure and stress is always rough to deal with in a family and it sounds like you care very much for your mom. I know your Dad is angry right now and sometimes being the provider can be overwhelming. Do you usually feel scared when your Dad or mom gets angry?
 
Shana09

Shana09

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Mar 18, 2017
Messages
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West Midlands
Hey Shana,

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Pressure and stress is always rough to deal with in a family and it sounds like you care very much for your mom. I know your Dad is angry right now and sometimes being the provider can be overwhelming. Do you usually feel scared when your Dad or mom gets angry?
I get really stressed out, yes
 
L

Lunar Lady

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Mar 19, 2019
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UK
I'm sick of everything in my life. I'm sick of being constantly afraid, of having a lump in my throat, of wanting to scream until this feeling leaves my head forever.
I want to end my life but I'm too scared to do that too. I'm jealous of people who know the difference between reality and not reality and don't have to worry about anything and just go with the flow.
My dad is putting pressure on all of us too and it's taking a toll on me. He's angry because he's the sole earner in our family and my mum doesn't work... I'm scared he's planning to hurt her or kill her...
Shana, I'm so sorry you are going through this.

There are several things going on here - how you feel inside and how your family dynamic is detrimentally affecting how you feel...and that's all very overwhelming.

Try and put percentages to your situation - is worrying about your mum and dad 70% of the problem?....or 30% of the problem, or whatever?

How about your own levels of fear and anxiety when you are away from the home? 40% afraid and tormented? Less? Or more?

I find this sometimes helps to identify what is the primary cause of how I feel, so I know which area needs attention first. I can identify which problems are external...and which are internal.

D'you think worrying about your mum is causing this intense anxiety and fear? :hug: xx
 
L

linus

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Mar 27, 2019
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Why would you think that your father might hurt your mother? You are a family, presume the best about yourselves.
 
L

linus

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Well I have quite some arguments with my wife, but I don't think about killing her, unfortunately life goes like this, but it's just unpleasant, nothing more.
 
M

missme

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Mar 28, 2019
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NZ
They keep arguing
I grew up in that environment and my parents are still together after 60 years of marriage. They are still the same. I understand the affects that this has on you because I've lived through that myself so if you ever want to talk, you can pm me
 
P

pem59

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Apr 26, 2019
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Rhonert Park
Dear Shana, I am sorry it's been tough with your parents, and that your dad is feeling stressed. Hope you are feeling better, sending lots of love, support, and kindness your way.
 
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