• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I really need to vent

P

Perseph

Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Edinburgh
Hi everyone. I have been having a bit of a meltdown for the last 3 weeks so thought I desperately need to spill and talk to people. I am a self-diagnosed mix of avoidant personality with some borderline (I can only do extremes and see everything as black and white). I have told myself for the last 4 years that I’m supposed to be alone/I’m better that way, and actively avoided relationships. Now I have been approached by someone who wants an extremely controlling relationship. I of course have fallen headfirst into this idea, the thought of being wanted, ignoring all the dangers of being vulnerable and lonely and not able to say no. And then it goes cold… I cannot deal with rejection.

I am now absolutely obsessed with this idea, not sleeping, not focusing on work, literally cannot think of anything else. I’m almost hoping at this stage I will be rejected because if I am, I am going back to my boring, lonely stable life/self-imposed nunnery, and this time I will build my walls so high and install a moat and dragons around them so no-one will ever come near me again!

Ahem. This has built up slightly. Hi.
 
N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
3,392
Location
London, ON
I understand; I strongly tend to avoid intimate type relationships because being alone means being calm.

You say he wants a controlling relationship - that should be a warning sign. And playing hot and cold with you is a toxic control mechanism.

I think you should be very careful, and try to keep this going slow, if at all.
 
P

Perseph

Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Edinburgh
I understand; I strongly tend to avoid intimate type relationships because being alone means being calm.

You say he wants a controlling relationship - that should be a warning sign. And playing hot and cold with you is a toxic control mechanism.

I think you should be very careful, and try to keep this going slow, if at all.
Yes - no intimate relationships for the last few years means I am finally getting my feet on the ground, I was calm, mostly I liked being on my own.

I am trying to pull back control now, meeting up with friends for coffee, focusing on work and getting my normal life back on track again. I find it very hard to go slow but hopefully I can.
 
B

blue spark

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2014
Messages
903
Location
Sunny England.
Hi everyone. I have been having a bit of a meltdown for the last 3 weeks so thought I desperately need to spill and talk to people. I am a self-diagnosed mix of avoidant personality with some borderline (I can only do extremes and see everything as black and white). I have told myself for the last 4 years that I’m supposed to be alone/I’m better that way, and actively avoided relationships. Now I have been approached by someone who wants an extremely controlling relationship. I of course have fallen headfirst into this idea, the thought of being wanted, ignoring all the dangers of being vulnerable and lonely and not able to say no. And then it goes cold… I cannot deal with rejection.

I am now absolutely obsessed with this idea, not sleeping, not focusing on work, literally cannot think of anything else. I’m almost hoping at this stage I will be rejected because if I am, I am going back to my boring, lonely stable life/self-imposed nunnery, and this time I will build my walls so high and install a moat and dragons around them so no-one will ever come near me again!

Ahem. This has built up slightly. Hi.
No,you don't want to be controled,taken advantage of,bullied and belittled if you displease.Don't do it,unless you like being tied up and whipped while wearing a gag ball.
 
P

Perseph

Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2020
Messages
9
Location
Edinburgh
No,you don't want to be controled,taken advantage of,bullied and belittled if you displease.Don't do it,unless you like being tied up and whipped while wearing a gag ball.
I think the best would be to just stop it and get my life started again. Otherwise I am going to need daily counselling.
 
B

blue spark

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2014
Messages
903
Location
Sunny England.
I think the best would be to just stop it and get my life started again. Otherwise I am going to need daily counselling.
No seriously,you don't need a bully in your life.Every thing might be fine at first,but the honeymoon won't last.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
W Hi! I really need your advice. Introduce Yourself 10
J Hello, really need help Introduce Yourself 2
J New here .. Single mum 2 beautiful boys really struggling with BPD Introduce Yourself 10
P New here really been struggling for the last six months! Introduce Yourself 14
B Please help me I’m in a really bad place Introduce Yourself 8
C Hi Im new here. Really struggling at the moment Introduce Yourself 7
I I am really confused... Introduce Yourself 6
L New to this and really struggling! Introduce Yourself 2
sab Not really new, but finally introducing myself Introduce Yourself 11
I I don't really know who I am Introduce Yourself 4
A Am I really suffering? Introduce Yourself 9
D I know alone and I really wanna talk about it Introduce Yourself 8
S am i really depressed or just faking it? Introduce Yourself 1
S Hi. New here my first time. Having a struggle with GAD and trying really hard to avoid medication. Introduce Yourself 3
A Hi, I suffer with anxiety and depression and occasionally need to connect with someone to help me change my thoughts. Introduce Yourself 13
M Need to find a place to go where others think like me. Introduce Yourself 9
L In need to express some feelings... Introduce Yourself 4
S Hi need to talk my thoughts are on overdive Introduce Yourself 6
C Desperate...desperate need to vent & scream out in words Introduce Yourself 2
F Hello all, i need help Introduce Yourself 4
C New here. Think I need help. Introduce Yourself 4
J Hi there. First time forum user. Need to connect with people who understand. Introduce Yourself 7
L Need to share some things Introduce Yourself 5
I I Think I Need Help Introduce Yourself 3
B Hi everyone, and wow do I need help Introduce Yourself 7
B Need help! Introduce Yourself 4
Ashkeef3339 I need an outside perspective. I'm reaching my end. Introduce Yourself 5
B Hi - I need some advice... Introduce Yourself 5
K I am New. I have had Major depress Disorder and anxiety for 15 years.I am on lots or of med and need people to talk to who understand. Introduce Yourself 5
J Hey, I need help my mental health ATM is affecting my life Introduce Yourself 11
A Help! I’m an introvert and I need advice Introduce Yourself 12
D Anyone need help with Agoraphobia? Introduce Yourself 1
S Hi I'm new need advice and might be able to give some. Introduce Yourself 5
S I think I need help, so I am here. Introduce Yourself 10
H Brain blocker - need help! Introduce Yourself 4
C I need to talk to others who understands feeling depressed, lonely and hasself harm urges. Introduce Yourself 12
J Fat, ugly and in need of a makeover Introduce Yourself 4
M Caregiver help question. My daughter is 22 with Schizoaffective. I need help and don't know where to go. Introduce Yourself 6
D Hi I need Introduce Yourself 4
H Need help with my sister Introduce Yourself 3
K Hello everyone. I'm in need of advice. Introduce Yourself 4
K I need answers. Introduce Yourself 10
D I need to talk Introduce Yourself 17
C Hello. I just joined and I need crucial feedback Introduce Yourself 11
G Need help Introduce Yourself 2
P Need to help my husband but feel so helpless Introduce Yourself 9
U Hi, I'm new here, I need help Introduce Yourself 40
W Hi everyone. I need to know about vraylar Introduce Yourself 3
B Need help on anger management. Introduce Yourself 13
R I need help and I don't know what I need Introduce Yourself 8

Similar threads

Top