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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I really am a failure at everything in life.

Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
634
Location
The Moon
I can't do anything. I can't get a job, can't take the bus alone, can't be independent. I just depend on my parents all the time. I'm a failure. I go to therapy, but my therapist doesn't seem to understand. The reason why I can't do most things on my own is because of my anxiety and paranoia. But I also feel like I can't do a lot of things because I'm just not able to do it. It's like life makes sense to everyone else except me. Like I missed out on something and never got to fully understand how to do things everyone else can do in life. I just feel so pathetic.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
38,873
Location
The Prancing Pony
Life is tough on youngsters.

Play to your strengths. I feel youngsters are much more in tune with their creativity, online presence and knowledge of computers.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,247
Location
Nashua NH
I can't do anything. I can't get a job, can't take the bus alone, can't be independent. I just depend on my parents all the time. I'm a failure. I go to therapy, but my therapist doesn't seem to understand. The reason why I can't do most things on my own is because of my anxiety and paranoia. But I also feel like I can't do a lot of things because I'm just not able to do it. It's like life makes sense to everyone else except me. Like I missed out on something and never got to fully understand how to do things everyone else can do in life. I just feel so pathetic.
I feel the same way. It sucks. xo, j
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,196
Location
US
Hey, Fairy Fountain, I'm sorry and I totally get it. Feel the same way and am trying to dig out of it right now, but it is quite overwhelming. Have you looked into DBT therapy at all, the skills you can use to work on chipping away at your issues one by one? I feel every single day like 1) I don't have a SO 2) I don't have a job 3) I have isolated myself and cut myself off from everyone. I feel totally incapable, wonder how everyone else does it. But my therapist started working w me today using DBT to try to tackle these one by one. We've started w me trying to date again, for instance. Take one issue at a time and break it down into small steps so it isn't so overwhelming. Life can feel like it's just on top of us and we can't breathe, but you can get out of it.

I'm starting by doing "virtual happy hours" just to try to get social again. I'd really suggest picking up a DBT workbook or something that lets you lay it out on paper, a plan that you have to get your life back. You are capable, and need to give yourself some grace, not be so hard on yourself or keep engraining in your brain that you can't do this. You can. Finally, please understand that you aren't alone in feeling this way. There are a lot of us. Life is a lot right now, and we need to give ourselves a break. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You don't want to end up wasting years of your life like I have, as you just get deeper into it. Really pulling for you.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
38,230
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
i was exactly the same as you FF and now i have a partner and am moving into a new house soon
if someone would have told me i would have this 20 years ago i would have laughed and brushed it off as no way
anything is possible and change can happen ,my life isn't perfect ,my life is actually still damne hard but its tons better than it was when i was 20
can i ask how old you are now? xx
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
634
Location
The Moon
Hey, Fairy Fountain, I'm sorry and I totally get it. Feel the same way and am trying to dig out of it right now, but it is quite overwhelming. Have you looked into DBT therapy at all, the skills you can use to work on chipping away at your issues one by one? I feel every single day like 1) I don't have a SO 2) I don't have a job 3) I have isolated myself and cut myself off from everyone. I feel totally incapable, wonder how everyone else does it. But my therapist started working w me today using DBT to try to tackle these one by one. We've started w me trying to date again, for instance. Take one issue at a time and break it down into small steps so it isn't so overwhelming. Life can feel like it's just on top of us and we can't breathe, but you can get out of it.

I'm starting by doing "virtual happy hours" just to try to get social again. I'd really suggest picking up a DBT workbook or something that lets you lay it out on paper, a plan that you have to get your life back. You are capable, and need to give yourself some grace, not be so hard on yourself or keep engraining in your brain that you can't do this. You can. Finally, please understand that you aren't alone in feeling this way. There are a lot of us. Life is a lot right now, and we need to give ourselves a break. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You don't want to end up wasting years of your life like I have, as you just get deeper into it. Really pulling for you.
Hello and thank you so much for sharing this with me. It sounds like a good idea. I just get so scared when I have to go outside. I feel like I can't be independent, and I really want to be. Thank you again. I will read more about DBT therapy. :hug:

i was exactly the same as you FF and now i have a partner and am moving into a new house soon
if someone would have told me i would have this 20 years ago i would have laughed and brushed it off as no way
anything is possible and change can happen ,my life isn't perfect ,my life is actually still damne hard but its tons better than it was when i was 20
can i ask how old you are now? xx
I'm 26 and I haven't accomplished anything in life. I'm trying to get my life together, but I've been trying to do this since I was 20. Nothing seems to be working out, but I'll continue trying. Thank you :hug:
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
634
Location
The Moon
Thank you everyone for the replies. Sending hugs.

:grouphug:
 
S

Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
276
Location
UK
You are not a failure.

I know this may sound trite but just being alive, just being here makes you a success.

Your lungs are breathing, your heart is beating.

You are someone who suffers with anxiety. That is not failure. Many of us do and we are not failures either.

You need support and possibly medication to help you and then just take baby steps.

I have a few small recommendations. These aren't magic pills but they have helped me:

* the book feel the fear and do it anyway
* the book the artists way
* rescue remedy in water
* peppermint tea
* regular exercise even if indoors
* meditation or chanting
* yoga

The fear will be there but you can take baby steps through. I used to not be able to do any of these things either and I can now. Please don't give up. You are NOT a failure.
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
634
Location
The Moon
You are not a failure.

I know this may sound trite but just being alive, just being here makes you a success.

Your lungs are breathing, your heart is beating.

You are someone who suffers with anxiety. That is not failure. Many of us do and we are not failures either.

You need support and possibly medication to help you and then just take baby steps.

I have a few small recommendations. These aren't magic pills but they have helped me:

* the book feel the fear and do it anyway
* the book the artists way
* rescue remedy in water
* peppermint tea
* regular exercise even if indoors
* meditation or chanting
* yoga

The fear will be there but you can take baby steps through. I used to not be able to do any of these things either and I can now. Please don't give up. You are NOT a failure.
Thank you so much. It's hard to remember the simple things in life when I have moments where I panic. But remembering them makes me feel a little bit better. I still feel horrible most days. I guess I need new medication. Thank you again :hug:
 
S

Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
276
Location
UK
Thank you so much. It's hard to remember the simple things in life when I have moments where I panic. But remembering them makes me feel a little bit better. I still feel horrible most days. I guess I need new medication. Thank you again :hug:
The only thing that life cares about is that we live. I'm that sense you've already succeeded! Everything else is relative depending on your values, goals and society.

Anxiety is like seeing the world through the eyes of a scared animal. You are not a failure for struggling. Actually you are strong because you are showing up for yourself and want to be better! And thats all that life is...showing up and trying again.

I would ask your doctor to review your medication and just remember...you're doing alright :) hang in there!
 
Fairy Fountain

Fairy Fountain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
634
Location
The Moon
The only thing that life cares about is that we live. I'm that sense you've already succeeded! Everything else is relative depending on your values, goals and society.

Anxiety is like seeing the world through the eyes of a scared animal. You are not a failure for struggling. Actually you are strong because you are showing up for yourself and want to be better! And thats all that life is...showing up and trying again.

I would ask your doctor to review your medication and just remember...you're doing alright :) hang in there!
Thank you so much for this comment :hug: I will try to remember this.
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,196
Location
US
Hello and thank you so much for sharing this with me. It sounds like a good idea. I just get so scared when I have to go outside. I feel like I can't be independent, and I really want to be. Thank you again. I will read more about DBT therapy. :hug:


I'm 26 and I haven't accomplished anything in life. I'm trying to get my life together, but I've been trying to do this since I was 20. Nothing seems to be working out, but I'll continue trying. Thank you :hug:
Yes, look into virtual appointments if you are too scared to go out right now. They are just as helpful, I've found. Good luck!
 
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