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I overthink, mostly with girls.

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Generic123

Guest
I admit to being an overthinker and Iam the sort of person who will put 2 and 2 together and get 5. I over analyze a lot particulary in social situations. But mostly its with girls. I seem to have this real problem where I overthink everything a girl says or does and try and decipher her actions to try and make it fit into that she likes me. It's really draining because I literally do not stop. I'm constantly gettjng feelings of she likes me then she doesn't like me, depending how the last interaction was with her. If she's on her phone I immedialty get a feeling of dread and convince myself she's texting a guy. I've got to a point now where I can't see the wood for trees on almost anything. I don't trust my own judgement and find it very difficult to separate the truth from something I've made up in my head and believed that. Everything just feels jumbled. I just cannot stop overthinking and playing back over and over past interactions.
Can anyone advise on something that can help me?
Thanks.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
I believe the over-thinking part is probably a lot more common than you'd imagine. In the end it usually comes down to a matter of degree. If it's seriously having a negative impact on you, feels out of control and is having a detrimental effect on your day to day life, it's probably time to seek help.

I wonder if low self-esteem is a bit of an underlying issue though, particularly if your anxiety is focused on girls. There's a lot of self-help information on the Internet to help combat self-esteem and anxiety issues. It might be worth trying some of these out first.

I hope you manage to find a way to overcome your anxieties and feel better soon
 
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Roadfool

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 14, 2013
Messages
174
Location
Staffordshire
I do the same thing, I think it's quite normal for a sceptical or doubtful guy to have these thoughts. You just need to wait until the right one comes along, then you'll be reassured that she's worthy of your time and effort :)

(Apparently!)
 
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Wiff180

New member
Joined
Apr 16, 2015
Messages
3
Very interesting. I have the same issue. I can think of 3/4 girls I've met at work and got closer to in a plutonic way. But I end up overthinking our conversations, re-reading emails and looking for some kid of hidden meaning. It's disturbing as I seem to obsess, invariably the girl gets a bit freaked out and we have to have an awkward conversation. But it's things like having to have an answer to some irrelevant question about her past. It annoys me I can't let these things drop.
The fact I am single and often these girls aren't also makes me feel weird for asking, but don't seem to be able not to. I seem to think and think and think. It's draining....
 
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Deliah

Guest
Hello, I think everyone does these things. I used to have most of my time taken up with analysing past conversations, a look, whatever. Creating all sort of stories around things which weren't true. Still do a little at times but nowhere near as much and I am more aware of the less useful stories I can create, through mindfulness practice. Learning mindfulness is the most useful thing I have ever done for myself. Used to drive myself nuts with relationships, overthinking everything. You will have so much more to give to another person if you can learn you to do something different. I wish you well. D xx
 
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Wiff180

New member
Joined
Apr 16, 2015
Messages
3
Hi Deliah, you mention Mindfulness. I looked it up after reading your post. I see several books on it, but I wondered if you could recommend something - how you learnt about it ?
 
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sonnyspells

New member
Joined
Jul 27, 2015
Messages
3
Location
Stevenage, Hertfordshire, UK
I have similar feelings when it comes to interacting with girls online, where if I complement more that one picture of them I worry that they'll think I'm a perv or a stalker and sometimes I try to avoid that situation entirely even though something like that is probably nothing to get alarmed about.

Another problem I have is that when I talk to girls online, I'm sometimes eagerly waiting for them to reply and sometimes feel low when I don't get a response either not a quickly as I'd hoped or not at all, which knocks my confidence a bit. I know people are busy and all that and I understand perfectly, it's just I can't help but feel like this.
 
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