i only feel okay when i am with him x

Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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#1
when I am not I feel empty and lost and can't settle
I think he is my favourite person
a bit awkward as you all know I mean hermit but I have nowhere else to post xx
 
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EstherRose94

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#3
I have a feeling he doesn’t mind lol. I agree, I used to think of my bf as my fp also but the fp thing I think is more like one sided? Or can be. I realized that our relationship is more than just me needing him because he needs me too. And we don’t just need each other but even if we didn’t we’d still want to be together. Seems like your relationship is like that too!
 
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EstherRose94

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#4
And once I realized that things got a LOT less tumultuous. It was easy for me to focus on the negatives when I couldn’t believe that he could possibly be sweet to me because he WANTED to be. Why else would he be? No logical explanation but my brain came up with some doozies of illogical ones I can’t even remember now (thankfully).
 
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Lockpon

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#5
FPs tend to be one-sided? I've not heard that one before. I don't know of an exact definition, but I thought of it more as someone you hyper-focus on and feel erratic emotions about depending on their behaviour.

I have had non-partner FPs, but I would definitely say my current partner is my FP, because he is on my mind often, I over-analyse our interactions, I consider (what I perceive to be) his opinion of me to be a decisive factor in how bad of a person I am, how he acts elicits ridiculous emotions in me no one else can, etc.

Would be interested to hear others' definitions of FPs now.
 
Lunus

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#6
when I am not I feel empty and lost and can't settle
I think he is my favourite person
a bit awkward as you all know I mean hermit but I have nowhere else to post xx
From what I have seen I think he is more of a soul mate than FP to you. x
 
Flameheart

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#8
I have a feeling he doesn’t mind lol. I agree, I used to think of my bf as my fp also but the fp thing I think is more like one sided? Or can be. I realized that our relationship is more than just me needing him because he needs me too. And we don’t just need each other but even if we didn’t we’d still want to be together. Seems like your relationship is like that too!
there is nothing that suggests the FP relationship has to be one sided, it's just if you are emotionally attached to them as lockpon has pretty much already explained
 
Flameheart

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#9
FPs tend to be one-sided? I've not heard that one before. I don't know of an exact definition, but I thought of it more as someone you hyper-focus on and feel erratic emotions about depending on their behaviour.

I have had non-partner FPs, but I would definitely say my current partner is my FP, because he is on my mind often, I over-analyse our interactions, I consider (what I perceive to be) his opinion of me to be a decisive factor in how bad of a person I am, how he acts elicits ridiculous emotions in me no one else can, etc.

Would be interested to hear others' definitions of FPs now.
I think an FP can be different and individual to everyone, but for me the fear of abandonment, splitting and roller coaster emotions are my main things I have to work on
 
Flameheart

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#10
when I am not I feel empty and lost and can't settle
I think he is my favourite person
a bit awkward as you all know I mean hermit but I have nowhere else to post xx
try to find other interests to distract you when he isn't around, it isn't healthy to have your happiness rely on someone else completely even in a relationship, so you are right, he might be considered your favourite person if you struggle to feel good when he isn't there
 
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Helen1960

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#12
In the absence of knowing what to say, I think you are a wonderful person Fairy Lucretia and no one could fail to love you xx
 
Urban Hermit

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#15
It’s such an amazing feeling being with somebody because you want to be, rather than needing to be. 🤗
Yep .. I want to be with her for the rest of my life .
There are moments when we need eachother, but I know that we also always want eachother more than need xx
 
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EstherRose94

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#16
It’s such an amazing feeling being with somebody because you want to be, rather than needing to be. 🤗
Yes that’s what I was trying to say 🙈

I know an FP relationship isn’t one sided but it can FEEL that way because you’re just focused on the other person’s feelings and reactions and not your own. I don’t know if that makes sense. I certainly wasn’t trying to invalidate any FP friendships and relationships I apologize
 
RockSolid

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#17
When a loving relationship is new it's normal to have that other person on your mind and to feel unsettled when they are not around. When I was younger I dated all sorts of different types of women, introverts, extroverts, smart, average, some plain, some gorgeous, blondes, brunettes, some foreign, some exotic. There never appeared to be any sort of pattern. But when it came to the FP women or even the potential FP women, they were always the same type. Dark hair, petite and super brainy with an avoidant attachment style. Like some dark storm cloud they come into my life, rain on me, rattle me with their thunder and then like a fair weather friend they vanish on the first prevailing wind.
 
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Girl interupted

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#18
try to find other interests to distract you when he isn't around, it isn't healthy to have your happiness rely on someone else completely even in a relationship, so you are right, he might be considered your favourite person if you struggle to feel good when he isn't there

This is so important for the health and longevity of the relationship, too.
 

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