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I never know what is best.



New member
May 19, 2009
I've felt like this for as long as I can remember. It fills me with rage and guilt. A sense of have no muscle to be independant.

There is more.

I know I don't deserve it. Many people better than me would jump at the chance. I've been offered a job, but I just can't cope with it at the moment. I live at home looking after my father who needs care and help at this present time. He only has me, no one else to rely on. I just feel full of stress and worry at the moment. No balls to be independant. Loathing myself if I turn the job down. Feeling I must be judged. I feel alot that I must be judged.

I tried to today to talk to my father of how I feel. But he just flew into a rage. I feel I have no sense of spiritual/emotional security


Well-known member
Founding Member
Mar 17, 2008
Hi Sadena2009
Sounds like u r having a really tough time at the moment and are feeling very overwhelmed by your feelings and thoughts. Its by no means a failure you ve turned a job down.. its simply not the right time for you at them moment.

As for your Dad going into a rage this can be a protective thing as well as oppossed to a negative thing atlhough it may not seem like this. He may be worried about you and it is his way of coping with it.

have you thought about maybe talking to someone about your feelings a close friend prehaps or even a Gp or practice nurse. They maybe able to offer some support

Anyway :welcome: to the forum

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Hi Sadena and welcome to the forum.

Do not loathe yourself for being in circumstances that you have little chance of changing. Your dad needs you and you're choosing to help him. That's a wonderful thing to do.

Becoming settled spiritually and becoming independent in anyway doesn't happen automatically to most people. We all have to work at it to some extent or another.


Sadena 2009/

Does y our dad need physical help or is he just old and lonely? You could ask to see either a Social worker or member of the Mental Health team/ If they can find a solution for caring for your Dad you will find that you will feel better and less anxious, and perhpas return to work. If it is possible talk to your boss about it, and perhaps you could get hours to fit in better with your home circumstances.
Take care/:hug: