I never grew up

Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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#1
emotionally and personality wise ,im still 11
i am not an adult in anything but physical/intelligence form
if that makes sense

never had anything grown ups have never will can't cope alone

just a child x
 
Deadheading

Deadheading

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#2
Sometimes I feel the same as you, like I never grew up. I guess childhood trauma can do that to you.
 
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Rusalochka

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#3
I'm the same. I still depend on my parents. I don't know how to handle money, especially with my learning disability in math. And I never finished High School. I've had many people comment on why I'm not independent.

What I do try to do is remind myself that life isn't a race. Especially when you have mental health problems.
 
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Deadheading

Deadheading

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#4
I'm the same. I still depend on my parents. I don't know how to handle money, especially with my learning disability in math. And I never finished High School. I've had many people comment on why I'm not independent.

What I do try to do is remind myself that life isn't a race. Especially when you have mental health problems.
Similar story to me, although I did graduate high school and college. I blame my parents for not teaching me to be independent. They're enablers.
 
I

IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

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#5
Sometimes I feel that way too. Especially when I'd spend too much time with my parents.
 
Tired Daisy

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#8
When I was a child I got treated like crap by my foster parents because I was different and I wasn't allowed to have what there own kids had and my foster father used to hit me.

I always had to ask for everything like for example, If I wanted a packet of crisps I had to ask while there other kids were just allowed to take a packet without asking when ever they wanted and they got pocket money and new toys and nice things. I was lucky to get 1 pound a month of pocket money and when they had family friends over they'd laugh at me and take the piss. Most of the time I just stayed in my bedroom.

I can buy all things I never had as a child now :dance: I have a mental age of 12... well I also have split personalities as well but I enjoy playing with toys and reading my Puddle Lane books and my other children's books.
 
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Deadheading

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#9
After going through this thread, I wonder if feeling like a child is yet another symptom of BPD?
 
C

Candy19

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#10
I feel exactly the same, ever since I turned 18 all I've done is panic, I can't be responsible or an adult for the life of me

I'm very childlike, I look like a child and still act like one and feel like one, people feel the need to remind me that I am an adult because it's like they know I find it too difficult

they think its cute, until I have constant emotional breakdowns and impulses like I literally am a 5 year old

I haven't felt like I've grown at all as a person, looking back 5 years ago I can't see much difference and that scares me because who will I be 10 years from now if I can't move forward
 
Tired Daisy

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#11
I have noticed that on many occasions people have spoken to me like I'm 5 years old and when I've told other people about it they tell me its because of the way I talk and also people soon see my autism show as well.

One time I went on a date and this woman said "she can't look after me" and I said... I don't want you to look after me but she just assumed I was looking for somebody to look after me.

That really annoyed me but I didn't let that show but anyway she pretended to like me as they all do and then after the date she blocks me and that's that and its the same with all the others. I quit doing online dating ever since that was the last straw for me.
 
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static void

static void

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#12
It's hard for me to be an adult. People don't take me seriously because I have bad social skills and I struggle to make eye contact, so I can't do any job that requires employes to be sociable (which is pretty much the only kind of job that I could do near my hometown until I finally finish studying to become a web developer). I still live with my parents because of that, and they treat me a child because I never had a job. I've applied many times for different jobs but I never heard back, not even from part time jobs. I'd need a social skills class just to get past the interview, sometimes I think there's something wrong with me neurologically. Urgh

For now I volunteer in a place dedicated to mentally ill people, so they don't judge me for how I act and instead are very simpathetic. I try to help them earn money, but they also help me emotionally.
I'm also not very good at expressing my emotions with the right language, or to even recognize them in myself and others, so I dont' know really how to make my parents stop resenting me for the fact that I still live at home, because I know I'm trying to do what I can do, and not what they think I can do (which is unrealistic at the moment). I can't stand up for myself in the right way, and this makes me angry. Children are the ones who are expected to have bad social skills, adults are expected to know how to live with other people, so yes people still think I'm a child.
 
Drooo

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#13
After going through this thread, I wonder if feeling like a child is yet another symptom of BPD?
I don't think so. I've certainly not come across any mention of it in the things I've read. It might be an aspect of the 'identity disturbance' part of BPD for some people though and I'm sure neediness and emotional fragility is often misconstrued as being 'childlike' in the ones that present in that way too. But that doesn't mean that is right or just to think that.
 
AliceinWonderland

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#14
I think is understandable if you have had to shut down as a child to cope with stuff. In my experience anyway
This chimes with me. I often feel like a child, and can be childish or childlike at times. And yes, I do feel that this relates to having had to shut down as a child in order to cope, and therefore not continuing to grow up/mature properly, and getting stuck in childish ways of behaving and feeling/thinking. Although I feel I have done more 'growing up' through therapy, and just learning how to be an adult in relationships and friendships I've had (or even at work, paid or voluntary), or through looking after my kids.

After going through this thread, I wonder if feeling like a child is yet another symptom of BPD?
I don't think so. I've certainly not come across any mention of it in the things I've read. It might be an aspect of the 'identity disturbance' part of BPD for some people though and I'm sure neediness and emotional fragility is often misconstrued as being 'childlike' in the ones that present in that way too. But that doesn't mean that is right or just to think that.
I can also see this point of view (Droo's response). And I don't think everyone with BPD behaves in a childish way or anything at all, or perhaps even anyone does, more that certain behaviours can look childish sometimes, when in fact the person's real motivation is something else (need for reassurance, fear of abandonment for example, which are not childish things in themselves necessarily). And I do think that yes neediness and fragility could be interpreted as behaving childishly, when in fact there is much more than that going on. The question of what BPD actually is, what causes it, and how people who have it are sometimes told to 'grow up' is a big one, and a very delicate and sensitive subject. I think it's generally hurtful to find out people think you need to act more grown up, when it's symptoms of a mental health issue that you're dealing with. I've certainly been hurt by people implying I need to grow up, when actually I'm often handling things in the best way I know how (and finding that very difficult), not necessarily behaving like a child.
 
DanL15000

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#15
I could get very negative here and say that I was more a wolf pup than a human child.

And that's what you get when you pretty much just feed a child and give it a place to sleep, nothing more.

And chuck in plenty of bad stuff.

But I've evolved from that outlook and can think of times when older siblings would get me out of that place. Times when friends would have me stay at their house.

And looking back, I can remember a couple of my friends parents actually telling their own kids to invite me to spend the night!

See, you can't get away with that bull crap in a little town and I think people were helping me out.

Just enough that if I don't dwell on the worst I can recall enough of the best to have kept me afloat.

And today I proudly say that I am more like a child than I was as a child! And I'm dang glad for it. Making up for lost time.
 
C

Candy19

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#16
I don't think so. I've certainly not come across any mention of it in the things I've read. It might be an aspect of the 'identity disturbance' part of BPD for some people though and I'm sure neediness and emotional fragility is often misconstrued as being 'childlike' in the ones that present in that way too. But that doesn't mean that is right or just to think that.
my friend actually showed me this yesterday:
https://www.mind.org.uk/media/2198702/understanding-bpd-2015-online-version.pdf

page 9: "How you might think or feel: like you are a child in an adult world"
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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#18
i do feel being childlike is part of my BPD it is hard to explain
i wasn't allowed to be a child
i had to take care of the house when mummy was ill with cancer
and the first time she was ill i was very little ,it feels for me like they are connected anyway x
 
burt tomato

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#19
You all seem like adults to me.

After reading a lot of spiritual books, often they say it is good to be childlike. To be gentle and humorous and see the world with wonder.
 

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