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I need your ideas

S

Starbright

Guest
Hi,

My diagnosis is 'psychotic episodes'.

This is my problem.

People keep asking me what I do for a job. Today at Church someone asked me what I was doing to get back to work, was I having interviews or was I going to do a course.

I am finding that these questions are really stressful because I don't know what to say. I'm not willing to lie.

So far I've said that I've been really ill and haven't gone back to work yet. But this sounds like I'm not ill any more and am ready to go back to work, hence this lady's question this morning. I replied to her that I have a health condition and take medication which both make me very tired and so going back to work is a very slow process.

I've got to the stage of considering just saying 'I'm psychotic' to them because I'm so fed up with having to 'field' these questions. I wish people would mind their own business.

So I need your ideas. What can I do when asked this kind of question. Do I just announce my illness from the rooftops, or is there something else I can say which is better than what I've thought up so far? What do you say? Do you have this problem?

Please respond! This is really starting to stress me out. :( Thanks.:grouphug:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Just say, "Thank you for your concern, I have an ongoing medical condition that profoundly affects my ability to work and I find it distressing to discuss it."

It's your business and no one else has a right to know. Smile when you say it and it sounds okay.
 
L

Louise 28

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ideas

Dollits advice sounds pretty spot on to me.

Some others to adapt/ or for ideas:

Im taking some time out to 'insert something like, re-assess my life, do things Ive never had time to do, having a gap year because students seem to and I never had one'.

I havent been well, and Im waiting until Im absolutley sure Im 100% better, because when I do get another job, I want to give it my best.

Im not ready to go back to work yet, Im just wanting to spend a while enjoying my health before I go back to work.

Im not ready to go back to work, its lovely that you care about me, however, Im just enjoying not thinking or talking about work right now.

Or thanks for your interest, but Id rather not discuss it here, I dont feel its the right place or time, maybe some other time (or not! but I wouldnt say that bit) Then maybe move the conversation to them by asking them something about themself, or their oppinion on something else completley different.

Hope something may be of use? I know I used to be pretty fustrated by constant questions and I mangaged not to tell them to go and **** off, because although they ask out of kindness it can get on your nerves sometimes.

Hang in there though. You can always tell them that work isnt the main focus of your life right now, thanks.

Its like a peer pressure to conform to usual life styles.

You'll get there wherever you want to go to Starbright. Keep smiling.
 
yakuza

yakuza

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Hi Starbright

I would echo the comments above and add that no one has a right to make you feel uncomfortable about your medical situation,it's nobody's business.

The way I have always treated over inquisitive people,is to turn the situation around and ask them why they are so interested,it displays confidence within yourself and more often than not,they will back off.

I'm sure it will sort itself out sooner rather than later but continue being strong,you're doing really well :)
 
S

Starbright

Guest
Oh you're all so kind, thank you for your comments. I will try and do as you suggest. It seems that it is going to be difficult no matter what I say. I do wish that people would **** off and mind their own ******** business (excuse the swearing, just letting off steam...!)

:tea:
 
L

Louise 28

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Starbright

I totally understand what you mean when you say you wish they would all '**** off'.

Maybe words to that effect- but more tactful, could be your answer?
But please do re-phrse it if you do say that!
:flowers:
 
archie_fields

archie_fields

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My OH has the same question - she's not in work, not in college and people are always asking questions about what she's up to and why isn't she working.

Some people (my family for instance) know that she's not medically fit for work but with pretty much all mental illnesses it's not obvious to look at her that there's anything wrong.

It's a very difficult question for her to have to deal with as she'd love to be able to get a job and feels that she's a failure for being signed off sick. Hopefully one day soon she'll be steady enough to look for work and will find something she loves and enjoys but until then she tells people she's a writer and works from home which is ok until they ask what she writes. Then she gets sarcastic and tells them she writes the 'Readers Wives' sections of top shelf magazines! Soon shuts them up though!!
 
Last edited:
R

ramboghettouk

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II tell people i'm ill and when they ask what the illness is i say "you wouldn't understand"

Thats what a kid when i was a child said when i asked about his schitso sister, the guys now a psychiatrist
 
Rorschach

Rorschach

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I have an idea, as it's a church, tell them you're a minister and see if they'll donate some pennies toward the church you're trying to establish. You never know, this time next year you may be the new Billy Graham. Kind of kills two birds with one stone (y)
 
M

maudikie

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Starbright.

I presume your teamscored a goal! To be friendly I'll join you:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::tea:
 
ellamental

ellamental

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distraction...look over there while I dance in the aisles in my PJs

Starbright hi
people generally like to talk about themselves so you could try saying...its a long story...we must get together and catch up properly soon...but tell me about your...brother...holiday...garden...choir practice...book group....tattoo.....
This has worked for me recently. I think it is called distraction! You don't have to answer any questions and by not answering you are not lying, just avoiding it until you are ready. You might find though people who do care for you will be more understanding than you think but you may just tell one person you trust there first and see how it goes. Sorry for rabbitting on..not really very good myself so might just go and get some chocolate now! Take care
Ella:hug:
 
Rambuie Perspecador

Rambuie Perspecador

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More with your earlier response, Starbright! Tell them to keep their filthy konks out of your business and mind their own! Then explain to them that in most countries of the world people say 'you never ever see a Poor Christian!' Then if they are still in your face ask them what is more important - human concern, or worrying about their own material self-betterment?? :innocent:
 
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