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I need urgent advice RIGHT NOW (PLEASE READ)

H

Hydrophobia

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Mar 31, 2019
Messages
103
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South Carolina
So I was just discharged from a 2 week stay at a mental ward after I made statements to crisis counselors over the phone (for the sake of privacy, I will omit what it was that I said) and now that I’m stable after a 6 month psychotic break (March 6th - September 9th, 2019, from my 21st birthday up until the day I was discharged from the hospital), I urgently need your advice right now. My counselor talked about housing me in this “in-patient apartment place” called “Transition”, and I just got finished talking to my friend over the phone about moving there, and he told me that the place was a homeless shelter and NOT a halfway house as my counselor was terming it. I’ve got until Friday to see my counselor about this place that they’re sending me to, and if it really is a homeless shelter, then the people at the facility must think that I’m a lost cause. The only thing that happens at homeless shelters is that everything belonging to you gets stolen and you get jumped, raped and/or possibly killed. I don’t want my family to be paying funeral bills if they kill me or for me to be facing down a federal grand jury indictment right now if I kill them, so I need your advice. If I have to go homeless, then so be it. But I must at least live within walking distance from a psychiatric facility to get my meds, because from what I’ve heard, that’s not a pleasant experience. But at least I’ll still live on my own and receive my own disability money in that case. And if I die on the streets, at least I’ll die a free man. Is there anyone who knows what this place is all about? It’s in South Carolina. The homeless shelter my friend told me about is actually in Columbia. I need more information about this place before I leave to see her. If it is, I’ll reject it right in front of her and opt for the streets, I don’t care what she says or does. If not, and it is an in-patient apartment place, then I’ll be cool. Anyone with info?
 
mischief

mischief

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From your friends description it does sound not good, however there is often a big difference between second hand stories and reality. It is always best to check it out for yourself.

If I was in your situation there are a few things I’d consider doing.

I would do a search on Bing and Google to see what has been written on the web about the place.

I would go and see the place so I could talk to both the staff working at the place and to talk to the people staying there at the moment. While I was there I would ask about moving on from the place, where do people go and what help do they receive to move on.

I would ask your counsellor what alternatives you have and also ask about what help you will get to move onto somewhere else.

If the service is recommending that you go there they must believe that you will be safe there. If you were to go there and you were harmed in any way they would open themselves up to significant financial liabilities as you would just sue them.

I would ask myself how does this place compare with living at home or on the streets, will it help me to get to a place where I want to be. The first place often isn’t the place you really want to be but it allows time for a better place to be found.

Good luck!
 
LizBo

LizBo

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Jul 1, 2019
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381
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Down-under
Hey Hydro;

A transitional house is usually a long term placement for those coming out of a psychiatric facility and need support getting their life together. There's usually an application process to see if [you] fit their criteria and complement current residents.

I'm starting work soon at one such residence and am excited about the opportunity. The program lasts 2 yrs while each person learns to cope and manage their disorder in the community.

Case studies show these places are extremely successful and run very professionally by experienced staff. Being a long term 'therapeutic' program, there's plenty of time to unravel resident's tired and damaged minds to prepare for their future.

It'd be wise to speak with your counsellor in depth about the program as this could be the opportunity of a lifetime. If they're applying on your behalf, there's a chance you'll get to visit prior to accepting an offer of placement.

The Carolina hostel could be worth looking into. It may not be the same as where I am, but it's well worth investigating as the benefits could be positively life changing.

Wishing you luck!
 
J

Jules5

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Jan 27, 2019
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Florida
I have lived in 7 homeless shelters and never had a problem. All I needed was enough time to get myself together and then move on. Believe me they do not want you there the rest of your life. They have funding at these places that can only go so far and so many people are on a wait list to get into these homes. It will be people just like you who do not want to live on the streets and have critical needs-like getting their medications and having a roof over their head and food. You will meet people who have some knowledge about what to do next. A homeless person is not a failure. It does not sound like you do illegal drugs or drink excessive alcohol. You will do fine. No fears No worries Okay Lots of love and hugs Jules
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

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On The Train
I was in a homeless shelter for nine months. There was a wait list and I dreaded going. When I walked in the door with my bag I felt like I would rather die. I felt devestated no one would help me and my friends let me down. I got to know the other residents and we all had the same situation basically.

I shared a room with another woman. we shared half a tiny closet and had our own nightstands. They served three meals a day. We had to do chores every week which rotated from washing dishes, emptying trash, tidying up the coffee area, etc. It was next to a library so you could go there and look for jobs or whatever. You met with your social worker once a week to update on your plans to leave.

There was only one washing machine however and that was the source of many fights.

There were people there that were waiting for SSDI decisions and not working and some that worked and we're trying to rebuild. My roommate lost her job and during my time there she was hired and fired from many jobs.

I worked with a few organizations and I was able to get section 8 housing and was granted free furniture from a charity. My apartment is nice and comfortable and I feel like I am rebuilding.
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

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The only thing that happens at homeless shelters is that everything belonging to you gets stolen and you get jumped, raped and/or possibly killed
I was also worried about all of those things. There was a shared fridge and pantry area and there was a food thief. There was a lady (felon) who would act really friendly but turns out she would earn your trust that you would invite her to your room and your money or medications would be missing. They did background checks for violent crimes. The felon lady was there because one of the big wigs felt sorry for her. The men were on the second floor, women on the first. You were not allowed to go in the other genders rooms.
 
J

Jules5

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Florida
I was in a homeless shelter for nine months. There was a wait list and I dreaded going. When I walked in the door with my bag I felt like I would rather die. I felt devestated no one would help me and my friends let me down. I got to know the other residents and we all had the same situation basically.

I shared a room with another woman. we shared half a tiny closet and had our own nightstands. They served three meals a day. We had to do chores every week which rotated from washing dishes, emptying trash, tidying up the coffee area, etc. It was next to a library so you could go there and look for jobs or whatever. You met with your social worker once a week to update on your plans to leave.

There was only one washing machine however and that was the source of many fights.

There were people there that were waiting for SSDI decisions and not working and some that worked and we're trying to rebuild. My roommate lost her job and during my time there she was hired and fired from many jobs.

I worked with a few organizations and I was able to get section 8 housing and was granted free furniture from a charity. My apartment is nice and comfortable and I feel like I am rebuilding.
What a story ending. How cool is that. I was mostly in domestic violence shelters. Had a horrible mate. He was so physically destructive it still hurts to this day. I always thought why can't other people live a the shelters I was in. It never occurred to me that they were not being abused physically, But yet they had such a need. Well I am okay now two-I have too much of everything and praying I can help someone someday. Lots of hugs and love Jules
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

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On The Train
What a story ending. How cool is that. I was mostly in domestic violence shelters. Had a horrible mate. He was so physically destructive it still hurts to this day. I always thought why can't other people live a the shelters I was in. It never occurred to me that they were not being abused physically, But yet they had such a need. Well I am okay now two-I have too much of everything and praying I can help someone someday. Lots of hugs and love Jules
I'm glad you are doing better now too Jules! 🤗🤗🤗
I was also escaping a domestic violence situation. There was a DV shelter with immediate openings but it was an hour away from me at the airport. I almost went there but this other place opened up for me. The men at ours would fight physically sometimes but they would get kicked out that day. They had zero tolerance for it.
 
J

Jules5

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Florida
I'm glad you are doing better now too Jules! 🤗🤗🤗
I was also escaping a domestic violence situation. There was a DV shelter with immediate openings but it was an hour away from me at the airport. I almost went there but this other place opened up for me. The men at ours would fight physically sometimes but they would get kicked out that day. They had zero tolerance for it.
So you know what it is like to be in a shelter. Awful kinda. It did help me. I felt like I was dying and then a rebirth of sorts into another new experience. I was at one shelter for 6 months with my 18 month old son. Everyone had kids but not everyone looked after their kids. I made some friends. My son was young enough he does not remember. I had to go into another shelter when he was 3 years old I just could not get it together with mental health. I had no idea I had a problem back then. Those days are gone now I am in a safe situation for the lonf run. I hope you are always well and doing good. Love and hugs Jules
 
RicharDragon

RicharDragon

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Oct 5, 2019
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177
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Oregon
I'm not sure this is reassuring or not Hydro. But it is some basic facts and keep in mind that this is the other side of the country from you.
I stayed at a Gospel Shelter and it was not as extreme as what you described but there are some things you have to get used to, some things to expect.
The place I stayed at housed roughly two hundred of us. When I first went in, it was getting into the cold parts of fall and heading towards winter, so there were mattresses they brought into the chapel and TV room and we slept on those with sheets and blankets and what not. Our stuff was kept in a "baggage room" and you could have two bags, one larger one not as large each person. This could be luggage, trash bags, whatever you were carrying but limited to the two bags.
Three meals a day, sometimes pretty decent, sometimes barely edible depending on what food was donated.
We had a bathroom/shower room and typically stood in line for showers (and for meals).
Sometimes people would steal from the baggage room but not super often as there was someone sitting in the room letting two people in at a time and typically watching them until you had been there for a time and were more trusted.
In the morning, after breakfast and maybe an hour after that, we had Chapel. We either went to chapel or went outside (I didn't necessarily agree with this because if your offering the saving of souls, it seems it shouldn't have to be used as a bargaining chip but that's just my opinion).
On Saturdays there was no morning chapel so it was kind of a break.
At some point they were doing away with the mattresses because it was going to be getting warmer and offering beds. I signed up and ended up upstairs to begin with on a bottom bunk. After some health issues I went downstairs in a bottom bunk and had a ... whatever that tube in your arm that gives you periodic antibiotics is called. Once I was a bit better and someone who had a walker was moving in, I moved to the top bunk.
I was in that place a year, didn't love it, but definitely didn't encounter anything that you describe. Things I had stolen were things I left in stupid places and should have known better.
The worse thing for me and maybe the best thing for me at the same time because it urged me to get my act together quicker was that a lot (not all but a good majority) of the homeless in the shelter had drug or alcohol issues or were ex cons. It isn't that I was better than these guys but that I had absolutely nothing in common with them whatsoever.
Eventually I got food stamps and ate at the shelter itself less and I discovered the very large local library where I spent most of my days only going in to sleep and shower.
Eventually I found work and then an apartment (blessings) and here I am.
Its been less than a year since I was in the shelter so its still fresh. I won't lie, it wasn't a fun place though they tried to make it fun sometimes (we had some BBQ ribs that the chef cooked one superbowl sunday that was good) and they had board game days and every Friday was movie night with some of the newer redbox rentals. So it wasn't a bad place, just that the depression of it all could weigh on you. When my illness took me I was literally told "you need to stop getting sleep passes because we are not a care facility" so I was forced to get up and move about when I wasn't at my best physically but I overcame that too.

All of the above being said, Transitions really does sound more like a place for health care than a shelter just going on the name. BUT, that also being said I would urge you to talk to your councilor or other care staff that are arranging all of this and bring up your concerns.
I'm new and wordy so apologies, I'm trying to cut my word count down :)
Best of luck!
 
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