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I need to know what to do. Please help.



New member
Jan 21, 2020
Hi, I'm sorry for the big text. I posted here because it seems a case of OCD.

I need to explain my situation. I live with my parents. I have never had a relationship with a woman, I am 32 years old and all these years alone have weakened my self-esteem. To face life, alone as it is for me, I have found pleasure in some simple things.

Masturb.... (Don't know if I can write this here) generally the things that give me pleasure are crystal clear, calm and serene female voices. I have been listening ASMR sounds especially those with voices.

However, I live with my mother. she has a crystal clear, calm, serene voice that I hate to hear, because the ASMR trigger turns into a disgusting sound. After all, I don't want the sound that gives me sexual pleasure to be in any way associated with her.

This led me to develop a panic attack, an anxiety attack whenever I hear her speak ... or cough, she coughs loudly, I listen far and it triggers my crisis.

I found a way to calm myself in these moments of crisis, no matter how small it makes sense. I imitate her coughing, in front of her. After a few times, my brain calms down. But each day becomes more difficult, mainly because my action irritates her, and it irritates my family. I do try to make fun of the situation, but in reality, this cripples me, and all my family know that.

It doesn't make sense the way I found to calm myself, but it works.

I just can't concentrate, do anything without first addressing to my crisis. First I need to calm myself, doing what I assume is the compulsion of the obsession.

Not only does it makes my day terrible, but it also seems to me that my activities, which previously gave me pleasure will be in any way associated with her. If that is true, then those things will not give me pleasure anymore.

My self-esteem problem leads me to believe that I am just not capable of solving this.
I'm afraid of losing interest in what makes me happy, things that gave me the strength to stay alive till today.

First, I need to know. Is this OCD?

If I get used to the sounds, like her voice, cough, everything and prevent myself to do the compulsion, will I lose interest in those ASMR sounds?

I use to say that life is hard and for everyone, there's one thing that make us leave our bed everyday. We know that at the end of the day, that simple sound, activity, someone will be there for us, and will make all the suffering from that day, worth.

Everyday it gets harder, but if I give up, I might lose interest in the things that give me strength to face the day.


Jan 14, 2020
Hi There,

Hope you're doing O.K or as well as can be, in my opinion, things like OCD or phobias work simply by what you feed into them if you spend all of your available time focusing upon them they like plants will grow into trees, it's best to find some other healthier associations with regards to what you're are talking about, just think of other things you like about Women, the color of their hair or a certain way of smiling, also if you have any buddies try going out with them to a bar or gig or something like that, you could always join a club if you have a particle hobby or interest, could be sports or music. Life, in general, is a set of trials for most people, you may see normal everyday people and think they have it all, buts it's rarely true, your only 32 and in today's world that's still relatively young. So don't focus solely upon the lack of partners, some people who have many partners are a complete mess, you'll be aware of them as they fill up reality TV or FB with their soap operas. Most of all Just Take It Easy, no one's winning the race in the long run.
It's an illusion, my friend.