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i need to know something

D

despised

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Joined
Jul 1, 2020
Messages
69
Location
texas
would anyone who i don't know anyone who is not my family miss me because i know they won't sometimes they "show" that they love me just to keep up appearances, and i don't like it when people touch me even if its just a brush a tap or something i hate being touched period even by my family like hugs i don't do hugs i know its stupid but hugs scare me i need my medicine and i haven't seen or heard from my psychiatrist in months i keep telling my mom but she just says i'll make an appointment but she never does she keeps brushing it off she keeps doing that she's going to be the reason for my death i'm sick of being this way i'm so miserable i always tell my mom but she doesn't care no one does if this doesn't get fixed soon i'm self medicating i swear to god i'm in the point of my life where i can't get a job no matter how many times i try, i'm so tired of trying to be the best, i'm tired of being overweight, i'm tired of not being pretty enough to have a boyfriend/girlfriend because years of bullying, i'm tired of life, i'm never gonna be good enough, i'm never gonna be the best, i'm never gonna have the life i wanted, my life...its just a waste of a life...goodbye
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
1,778
Location
Canada
being pretty enough is all relative.

not pretty enough to get a rich man maybe. u can still get someone else.

poeple eat to escape the pain inside them. a distraction from it. then they overeat too much. which will naturally go down if you face the pain inside.

what other poeple think of you wont matter if u learn to think better of yourself
 
T

TheHeartHasAVoice

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 14, 2020
Messages
510
Location
Australia
would anyone who i don't know anyone who is not my family miss me because i know they won't sometimes they "show" that they love me just to keep up appearances, and i don't like it when people touch me even if its just a brush a tap or something i hate being touched period even by my family like hugs i don't do hugs i know its stupid but hugs scare me i need my medicine and i haven't seen or heard from my psychiatrist in months i keep telling my mom but she just says i'll make an appointment but she never does she keeps brushing it off she keeps doing that she's going to be the reason for my death i'm sick of being this way i'm so miserable i always tell my mom but she doesn't care no one does if this doesn't get fixed soon i'm self medicating i swear to god i'm in the point of my life where i can't get a job no matter how many times i try, i'm so tired of trying to be the best, i'm tired of being overweight, i'm tired of not being pretty enough to have a boyfriend/girlfriend because years of bullying, i'm tired of life, i'm never gonna be good enough, i'm never gonna be the best, i'm never gonna have the life i wanted, my life...its just a waste of a life...goodbye
Have you ever tried working for yourself? Would it be possible to design the life you wish to live that is in line with your values? Everyone has a blueprint of contentment and when it isn't met we get sad. We get into an inner conflict.

As an example, I keep getting kicked around in life. I'm discriminated because of my religion. I live in a city that discourages health and well being. I once got so fed up that I isolated myself in the bush lands and started carrying tree logs to build my body. I then stopped that because I think people complained and I got scared of snakes. Now I'm in a slow process of moving into a new lifestyle and environment that is in line with my values so I don't have to fight for my peace of mind.

My point is life is going to beat you around and will keep you on the floor if you let it. But you can always break free from the evils people place on you by learning to be independent. It's not complicated either. Just don't give up and throw it all way because it achieves nothing.
 
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