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I need to find people who understand

Z

Zoef55

Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Scotland
Hi,

I need to find people who understand. I'm seeing a therapist but haven't received any formal diagnosis. I've had issues since i was a teenager - self harm, depressive states, perfectionism, extremely low self esteem to name a few. The thing is I'd really like some clarity.. I've taken all the online tests you can possibly take with varying results. I can function. I shower, go to work, enjoy food etc. It's not until last year when i began a relationship that my mental health has came into focus. My bf is the one who recommended therapy. He says i'm constantly on a low vibration and that's true. Being so close to me, he sees what others don't and lately he's been more concerned. When I started therapy I knew i had things to talk about but with Covid-19, various life stresses, I feel worse and worse. I crave a diagnosis or an answer of some kind.

Is it OK to ask my therapist for a diagnosis? Or for an identification of some kind? At least if i had one I might better understand myself.

Thanks to you all, this seems like a really good place.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,660
Location
Nashua NH
It’s always good to ask a therapist for feedback. As for an actual diagnosis I believe that would be considered more on the medical side of things and you would have to see a psychiatrist for an official diagnosis. I don’t believe that therapists are certified to provide diagnoses, just to provide therapy around established diagnoses. Could be wrong. xo, j
 
D

Deleted member 86004

Guest
Hello and welcome :) As far as I know, it's perfectly okay to ask for a diagnosis or what the therapist may suspect a diagnosis could be, I explained this to my therapist.. that I wanted her to be open with me about what possible diagnosis could fit, I agree it helps to better understand yourself. It gives a general outline of what coping mechanisms could work best and where your mindset comes from in the first place, at least that's how it helps me...just tell them you would appreciate an open discussion about it :)🙏
 
Z

Zoef55

Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Scotland
Thank you so much to you both for replying. Yes my therapist is not a 'Dr', but is trained in psychodynamic therapy. It's a bit complicated but he's also my boyfriend's therapist (he agreed to see us both separately as he felt he could manage this) and has given him clear thoughts and basically used the terms 'anxiety' and 'addict' for him.. In other words, he has given him feedback but i'm yet to recieve anything like this.
 
D

Deleted member 86004

Guest
Maybe it's just taking a bit longer for him to reach a conclusion or possible conclusion with you, since you both have your own set of reasons for being there, it's bound to be a bit different for both of you 🙏
 
Z

Zoef55

Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Scotland
Yes that could be true. I think part of my problem is a constant, unrelenting negation of my issues - always believing i'm not 'sick enough', don't warrant help etc. It takes me a lot even to go twice a week. I've been going for 5 months now but i'm hitting a wall. It's got to the point where I started self-harming after a few years of not doing it, i don't enjoy what i used to or can only sit with something for twenty minutes before i lose concentration. I need to speak up to him but it's also difficult because there's a voice that always says there's nothing wrong and i'm being overdramatic
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,660
Location
Nashua NH
Do you think it might help to write down these concerns? You are not being dramatic by having concerns about yourself...that is why you are in therapy. I would maximize the opportunities and effectiveness of your meetings and ask for any kind of feedback you would find helpful. Share whatever concerns you might feel need to be addressed. You are in a unique and privileged position: not everyone has access to a therapist. Make the most of the experience and ask away! xo, j
 
D

Deleted member 86004

Guest
I felt like I hit a wall too in therapy, before the pandemic had me stop going...now I just keep thinking, I really wish I was fully honest! It's not easy to be fully honest but it's really discouraging to hit a wall and not make any progress...I always worry that I am being over dramatic too, that I am not "sick enough" ...but you are in therapy, you joined this site, trust your intuition of you trying to help yourself, you deserve it 🙏
 
P

Pinkie12

Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Coventry
Yes that could be true. I think part of my problem is a constant, unrelenting negation of my issues - always believing i'm not 'sick enough', don't warrant help etc. It takes me a lot even to go twice a week. I've been going for 5 months now but i'm hitting a wall. It's got to the point where I started self-harming after a few years of not doing it, i don't enjoy what i used to or can only sit with something for twenty minutes before i lose concentration. I need to speak up to him but it's also difficult because there's a voice that always says there's nothing wrong and i'm being overdramatic
Your not alone, I now feel like there's nothing wrong with me, I still work etc. Iv been doctors and I feel because I can still function they don't take me seriously and now makes me not want to take help 🤷🏻‍♀️
 
T

TyFence

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 21, 2020
Messages
202
Location
NorCal
I don’t think you should be seeing your boyfriends therapist. Something might leak between the two of you. In therapy if you can work on your problems w/o a diagnosis. Sounds fine not to be labeled, to me. Your therapist can’t give you meds if it’s more serious. Do you think you need meds to stop self harming? Therapy doesn’t sound like it’s helping. Does your therapist know you SH? Just some thoughts to help on your way. Is the relationship confusing? They are hard.
premarital sex and living together can be very hard and need a lot of trust and maturity before they should happen.
 
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