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i need to feel ok again

J

J3ss1ca

New member
Joined
Dec 14, 2018
Messages
1
I haven't felt like this in a long time.

when my depression spikes there's a temporary period of happiness beforehand, but this time...it felt like a truck. it feels like I've fallen in an abyss. I don't know what to think anymore, i'm so sick of the life i'm in. I'm so sick of doing everything the same way. This daily routine i'm stuck in is killing me on the inside. I want it all to just stop. to not exist anymore. I just want to stop living the way i am. if i just stopped going to work, if i just stopped talking to people, would i be happier? Would that make everything ok? Would that solve all my problems, stop all of these things eating me from the inside?

Would i finally be happy?

If i could just open up to anyone in my life, if they knew what i was feeling would that make everything better? Or would it poison me even more. Would they build this blanket around me and wrap me up so tight that i'm suffocating? I just want to be alone, i don't want anyone to see me like this. but at the same time, i want everyone to know what i'm feeling, i want them to know, i don't know why, these conflicting feelings make me feel worse, "If only i could tell them, if only i could curl up and tell them everything that's going on" Look at what you're doing to yourself, you're so weak you cant even open up to them

I want it to go away, i want it to stop, i want to feel ok again. I want to feel normal, i want to feel motivation to go to work everyday with a smile on my face, i want to be able to say 'yes, today feels good, i'm happy today'
 
I

Inconsiderate

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 8, 2016
Messages
64
Location
Germany
To answer the first part: dropping your social contacts and life and structure will only make things worse, it's not an option.
Now towards the second part:
You're in a situation where you don't have much to lose, so you might as well go for some things that might otherwise scare you. Telling some of your problems allows people to share empathy and include you in other things. However, spewing all your depression all the time makes you a pain to be around. I do recommend going to a therapist though, where this is an option.
As you keep moving through life, here and there options will come up. And if you reach out, some will bring you joy. Sure, some, hell, probably most, will fail, but that's normal for everybody.

So I recommend:
Therapist/psychologist, talking to people and opening up with some problems, a hobby and progress, don't stop moving. Physical fitness and health and nutrition can also really boost your mental health.
In case you ever feel like talking, venting or anything else, feel free to write me.
 
H

Hope666

New member
Joined
Mar 24, 2018
Messages
4
Hi,
I feel like that every day of my life and you know what... The terrible thing is that it doesn't matter who you talk to it doesn't change.... I know... That isn't exactly the answer you are looking for... But that is the conclusion I got to.... I wish there was some magic fix but there isn't....I'm so sorry I'm not the best at making people feel better....
But I know exactly how you feel.
If you would like to talk you can't always send me a message xxxxx
 
R

Rfb1990

Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2018
Messages
5
I know how you feel. I shut off 95% of my life about 10 years ago after a bad incident. I currently have virtually no interaction with people outside a very small group, including work colleagues. I thought it was the right thing to do as if they dont know anything about you then they cant hurt you. But all it does is leave you really exposed when something bad happens and you realise that you have no one to speak to about it. I know its difficult but you have to let people know how you are feeling and dont isolate yourself
 
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