i need to die

N

Nina998

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Joined
Mar 31, 2019
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120
Location
Finland
Just had my second ECT. Suffering from some memory loss. I am transferred today to a hospital closer to home.
 
letmein

letmein

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Joined
Oct 10, 2016
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845
let us know how it goes xxx
well I started to run my bath... need to be out in an hour and half.... feel sick as a dog.

never felt scared like this for ages, would have bene easier if I hadn't had hassle from my ex" again today... its all a mess but i need to focus on this lady, its wrong i take my crap to her...
 
L

Lunar Lady

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Mar 19, 2019
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UK
well I started to run my bath... need to be out in an hour and half.... feel sick as a dog.

never felt scared like this for ages, would have bene easier if I hadn't had hassle from my ex" again today... its all a mess but i need to focus on this lady, its wrong i take my crap to her...
Okay, Letmein - here's the pep talk from Auntie Lunar :hug:

(1) NO talking about the ex. It will just tell your date that you have unresolved feelings and are not emotionally free...even if everything you say is negative. Conversation no-no.

(2) Relax...this isn't a job interview.

(3) Ask OPEN questions that will keep your date talking:

So...tell me about yourself....

You grew up in Uganda? Fantastic...what was it like...?

If you could choose the perfect day, how would you like to spend it?

That kinda thing. You can gather yourself and smile whilst she thinks about her replies and chats. Closed questions solicit a one-word response - then it feels like your conversation is stilted.

(4) Don't try and impress her - nothing is more endearing than human frailty and humility. Tell her what you're good at - but be comfortable laughing about what you're not good at. People grow closer by trading intimacies - telling her you're naturally untidy and a bit of a scatterbrain won't scare her away - she'll feel special because you felt safe to tell her.

Wishing you a great night - just be yourself and know that the worst case scenario is that you don't have a magic 'spark' between you. Doesn't mean you can't have great fun on the date anyway...or that the world has ended. Think in terms of "could this girl make me happy?" rather than the other way round - that way you'll get her to talk more and feel in control. Don't fear her rejection - you might not want her ;)

Have a great night - wishing you all the good luck in the world. x
 
letmein

letmein

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Oct 10, 2016
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845
hi guys and thanks

date went OK" we chatted for two hours.... nice country pub.... but zero spark... but she had saidon the phone she was only looking for friendship (she can't be physical and dosn't want to be)

lots of interesting facts about her, she's a life coach so used to seeing peopel who are stuck.... we ended up being more like a bussiness meetig in the end... but she's offered me a free session if i want it... I said maybe we could do lunch next time.

shall see, glad i went, spent more on food on the way home as she's eaten before we got there, i was bloody starving all I could think of was curry!
 
letmein

letmein

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Joined
Oct 10, 2016
Messages
845
within the last hour my mood has crashed so low.

all i can think is for me to "go"

I have to stay for my daughter.

christ please help me.
 
U

universalaura

New member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Belfast
Stay strong. "This too shall pass" and when you come out the other side you will be full of wisdom, life experience and a new zest for life. Hang in there friend :)
 
letmein

letmein

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Oct 10, 2016
Messages
845
so ill

can't see much hope, voices in my head.... had to take meds to try and clam down...

i really can't do this any longer.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Moderator
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Jan 4, 2013
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9,372
Location
England
Hi
Do you have a crisis team you can phone
I'm sorry you are struggling
Hold on things can get easier
The Samaritans can help to
Take care
 
letmein

letmein

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Joined
Oct 10, 2016
Messages
845
seven years this cycle of depression has lasted, its cost me a small fortune, a failed relationship and friends..

i have total hate for myself now, I would if i was stronger walk away... i'm no idea how to fix anythig right now
 

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