Okay, Letmein - here's the pep talk from Auntie Lunar
(1) NO talking about the ex. It will just tell your date that you have unresolved feelings and are not emotionally free...even if everything you say is negative. Conversation no-no.
(2) Relax...this isn't a job interview.
(3) Ask OPEN questions that will keep your date talking:
So...tell me about yourself....
You grew up in Uganda? Fantastic...what was it like...?
If you could choose the perfect day, how would you like to spend it?
That kinda thing. You can gather yourself and smile whilst she thinks about her replies and chats. Closed questions solicit a one-word response - then it feels like your conversation is stilted.
(4) Don't try and impress her - nothing is more endearing than human frailty and humility. Tell her what you're good at - but be comfortable laughing about what you're not good at. People grow closer by trading intimacies - telling her you're naturally untidy and a bit of a scatterbrain won't scare her away - she'll feel special because you felt safe to tell her.
Wishing you a great night - just be yourself and know that the worst case scenario is that you don't have a magic 'spark' between you. Doesn't mean you can't have great fun on the date anyway...or that the world has ended. Think in terms of "could this girl make me happy?" rather than the other way round - that way you'll get her to talk more and feel in control. Don't fear her rejection - you might not want her
Have a great night - wishing you all the good luck in the world. x
date went OK" we chatted for two hours.... nice country pub.... but zero spark... but she had saidon the phone she was only looking for friendship (she can't be physical and dosn't want to be)
lots of interesting facts about her, she's a life coach so used to seeing peopel who are stuck.... we ended up being more like a bussiness meetig in the end... but she's offered me a free session if i want it... I said maybe we could do lunch next time.
shall see, glad i went, spent more on food on the way home as she's eaten before we got there, i was bloody starving all I could think of was curry!