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Sophia3228

Guest
Hello everyone,

I was hoping to explain my problems and see if anyone has experience the
things I've been going through, Thank you.

Like last year I had a huge fear of developing schizophrenia, I had a lot of fears
that time and I was really stressed out, but luckily the anxiety started going away
and I started functioning better, but of course I can't get rid of these thoughts
I've been having.

These thoughts like sometimes when I am watching TV and see people or
someone on there, I might get a thought they are looking at me or that
they are talking to me or that because of the actions they make is because
of me, or that they like me, or that they are calling for me, and I try to replace
those thoughts with more practical thoughts, or I try thinking to myself that
its delusions or that I'm going insane.

And when I listen to music I think the singer or singers is saying my name, or
that they are singing about me, or that this song is about me, and I try to
again replace those thoughts with more practical thoughts, or I try thinking
to myself that its delusions or that I'm going insane.
And sometimes when I hear a video from a computer the same
thoughts come, and I try to think practical and remind myself this is delusions.

And at night when I go to bed I sometimes am hearing these voices outside
my head, and that its coming from what I can think of any object, and it
makes me confused and I try to think its hallucinations, so I don't go insane.
But sometimes I have thoughts that any object like pictures, toys, or figures
are somehow alive and that these things are watching me, or that I can
communicate with these things with my mind, but I try hard to replace these
thoughts with again practical thinking, and I try hard not to believe in the
opposite of reality.

But other times I might see something moving out of the corner of my eyes, but
when I look there's nothing moving, and sometimes I see something weird
in the dark, but when I am by a window or front door that's open, I might think
to myself someone is watching me or someone is after me, and I try to replace
these thoughts again and again, other thoughts I get often is whenever I am
looking at someone I might get the thought I am reading their mind, or that
they know what's on my mind. This does happen everyday but sometimes I
just ignore these thoughts and I seem more happier that way.

I don't know though if this is like schizophrenia, psychosis, schizoaffective disorder,
or bipolar disorder (sometimes I think I have this) or if I am developing
OCD, sense I am aware of these things I think that maybe because I am aware
of these things that maybe I don't have anything, but I am a teenager and I don't
have the kind of doctor to help me with these things, and the only person I
talked to about this the most is my mom, but since things gotten better
I haven't told her anymore about my problems, because I am afraid that
if I do it will turn out there is something wrong with me, but I am glad to
explain all this and I hope I am not alone. Thank you. :)
 
A

Ashem

Guest
Hello :)
I'm sure you're not alone in your experiences. What you're explaining can be experienced through episodes of mania in bipolar or can be prodromal (the early signs) of schizoaffective disorders. I strongly advise you to call a mental health line and see if you can perhaps get in contact with a psychiatrist or a doctor who is well-versed on mental health symptoms to give you a proper assessment, as
symptoms of psychosis often present themselves to people in their early-to-late teens. Try not to panic for now, but take the steps necessary to help you to understand what's going on and get appropriate treatment if necessary. Remember, health should always be placed above fear or shame, and getting help is one of the bravest things a person can do �� I wish you all the best, and hope you find some answers.
 
Last edited:
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
No, I certainly don't think you're alone.
I'm glad to hear that things are a bit better for you now.

I'd say that being a teenager is stressful enough. Also, things are still developing and you're still going through experiences that help shape your personality etc.
And so I wouldn't worry too much at the moment about any kind of label - to be fair, even in adulthood labels aren't always helpful.

I do think that perhaps the fact you seem to have a lot of self-awareness is definitely something that can work in your favour.
As a teen, I had thoughts and beliefs that got me labelled psychotic. The thing is, I haven't had those kind of thoughts since I was about 17/18 (I'm 25 now).
So things do definitely change as time passes.

I think it's great that you had a conversation with your Mother about all of this - that's really brave and I hope she was supportive.
I would still try to keep the communication with her open though, because it's important that you don't bottle these worries up.
 
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Sophia3228

Guest
Thank you Ashem and SomersetScorpio I appreciate that you responded to my post, and
also thank you for your kind words and care. :)
 
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