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I need some help

Mathew

Mathew

New member
Joined
Jul 12, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Wolvo
I have been fighting with depression for around one and a half years. My family pushed me aside for my younger sister, I have no future in education and I have nothing to really live for. It feels as if I'm in a bad dream I can't wake up from. I have kept all of my problems to myself and I recently decided I need someone to talk to about everything
 
B

bpd2020

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
7,535
Location
England
Hello Mathew. Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear of your struggles. Depression is a horrible thing to have and needs treatment. I am glad you have decided to post here. You will get a lot of support.
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

Well-known member
Forum Guide
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Mar 19, 2019
Messages
10,676
Location
UK
Hi Mathew!
I'm glad you've found us! :welcome:


There is a friendly and caring community here that can support you.

If you'd like to tell us more about your situation, you can post a thread on the Depression forum and members here will reply to you. Sometimes, it really helps to just get everything down on paper. :hug:
 
R

Resolution

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 21, 2019
Messages
189
Location
West Midlands
I have been fighting with depression for around one and a half years. My family pushed me aside for my younger sister, I have no future in education and I have nothing to really live for. It feels as if I'm in a bad dream I can't wake up from. I have kept all of my problems to myself and I recently decided I need someone to talk to about everything
 
Mathew

Mathew

New member
Joined
Jul 12, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Wolvo
I will listen if you want to talk if that helps
This is quite hard for me to write because so much happened and I kept so much to myself.

My parents moved to the UK when I was young so they "Could have a better life" but that only helped with the money,We started living in rough areas in which my sister became a troublemaker. The schools I went to didn't help at all either because people hated me for the reason that I wasn't British, I would be segregated from the other kids for being from a different country which lead to a lot of bullying and racial slurs thrown at me.

My years at the secondary school were the worst, I got bullied a lot more by students and some teachers, I would be put in the "Low achieving" again for being from a different country even though I was quite the smart kid back then. after all of the years of neglect from everyone I just gave up on life stopped studying and being really socially active.

Fast forward when I got sent back to my country for two months I got into a few relationships where I just got cheated on and I was made out to be a joke by a lot of people for lettings things like that happen but in reality I was just searching for someone to appreciate me, I also got into some bad company and did some pretty bad things whilst being there.

I come back home and things just get even worse.My sister started stealing from my parents to use buy hard drugs which resulted in my parents arguing and constantly wanting a divorce, this resulted in me being put aside and me being treated more of a room mate rather than a son by both of my parents.

Couple weeks after I started college I got into a bad mentality thinking "Fuck everyone who tries to mess with me" which resulted into me getting in trouble with teachers and students (Rarely for a good cause). I back stabbed a lot of people with the actions I took and im willing to take the consequences for what I did. My serious depression started exactly around midway through the first year of college which filled my nights with tears.

The situation at home didn't get any better either, my parents tried to get help from the social services but instead we got a lady who supported my sisters bad lifestyle and manipulated my sister into giving false statements about my mom being "Mentally abusive" towards her in which this also caused more arguments at home between both of my parents. all of the shouting and slamming doors between my parents made my really sensitive to loud noises like fireworks or other things. Around this time they also pushed me aside which I understand why but I don't feel like I deserved this. my sister also was mentally abusive towards me where it caused me to have one way fights with her (She hit me and my parents stopped me before i could do anything)

I'm on About to be on my third year of college where I have nothing to live for, I have no hobbies, I'm not really liked that much, Im Depressed, My family is in shambles, im even more pushed away because my sister got pregnant with her boyfriend. The only thing I really like is my bathroom because i can sit in there take a warm shower and listen to a couple songs peacefully, Don't know why but taking a warm shower Helps me a lot with clearing my mind and being peaceful with myself.

I was also considering and I still am about joining the army to Finish my life a bit more quickly but because of this I decided that i need help because I don't want to make another decision I might regret

I would also like to say sorry for my horrible English but writing some/rough parts of my life helped me get a lot of pressure away from my chest and Forgot to mention one thing, I did also have a drug problem at one point but I've been sober for about 1 year now
 
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