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I need ideas

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guardian1816

New member
Joined
Dec 26, 2017
Messages
3
I don\t know if this is the right place for this, but it might be.

Back in 2006 I returned from Iraq on a military deployment and ever since then I have been struggling every day to take a shower or brush my teeth. This was never a problem before or even during the deployment. I have spoke to a counselor about it and they tell me its a sign of a very old and deep seated depression, but it could also be PTSD related. The fact that I waited 11 years to deal with it seemed to concern them since its harder to get me to return to the "norm" if this has become my normal.

Even working with a counselor every week for over a year it is still a force of will every day to get this stuff done...most days i just dont have the willpower to mess with it.

Anyone know anything i can try to fix this??
 
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CroatiaSteve

Active member
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Messages
34
Hello,

I won't pretend to be able to fully comprehend how you're feeling, it must be the devil to not have the willpower for things that seem so simple. Why don't you have the drive to do it? Is it because you think these actions are a waste of time? You feel already clean?

I'd like to understand how you're feeling a bit better, I'll do my best to think critically for you.


All the best
 
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guardian1816

New member
Joined
Dec 26, 2017
Messages
3
I'm not feeling anything. When I actually do it im not sad or happy. When I don\t do it I feel self conscious about it but wont get up to do it. I can be standing in the bathroom staring at the toothbrush and just turn and walk out. This wasnt ever a thing until about 11 years ago and I cant begin to tell you why. I definitely dont feel clean.
 
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CroatiaSteve

Active member
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Messages
34
Hey

Well you could introduce some kind of reward to yourself for doing these things. Make some kind of motivation. Perhaps try to smell nice and attract a compliment? Nothing boosts my confidence more than when someone mentions that I smell nice today. That then motivates me to do it again.

Let me know what you think about that
 
exyz

exyz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,773
Hello Guardian,

Good to meet you but so very sorry that it is in these circumstances.

I'm not sure if you are USA or UK or elsewhere.

A lot of what you describe sounds familiar, I have family who were in Iraq and also the Baltics and Afghanistan. I'm not ex service myself though but have seen enough in my family for your condition to sound familiar.

There is a charity in the UK for people who find themselves in your position. Here is a link and even if you are not UK perhaps the information may sound familiar. If you contact them they may be able to refer you to somewhere in your own country.
Here is the link
Help for you | Combat Stress

This forum can be a good support if you are feeling isolated also. It is a real mix of people and sometimes just talking about anything helps distract.

Sending good thoughts to you. You have been through a hell of a lot and there is support about although stretched.

Keep talking here if it helps.
Sending good wishes

Ex :)
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,044
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
Dear Guardian,

I have the same problem and have had for quite some time.
In my case I could come up with guesses galore for why I may have become like this.
Oddly if it becomes too hot in the summertime, I hop in a cooling shower but will not pick up the soap or a washcloth.
I am a woman and I had longish hair. I just recently went and got it cut very short because I allowed it to become such a tangled mess.
I do not look at myself in mirrors.
I hate how much weight I have gained on my meds.
But even before it was sort of a problem.
We even got me a shower chair to sit in. I like it but it doesn't get me in there.

The one thing I do know of to help modify my behavior is to set a goal, start a thread on it and then post every day. Accountability. I have done this to go no contact after a break up and it worked when nothing else did..counting my days just like sobriety. Right now I am so very slowly working on my housekeeping and dishes is my minimum goal. I have kept my dishes up for approx 2 months now. Many times I have started to post without having done my dishes but then I just so much do not want to report that, that I will jump up and go do them mid-post. Time things. How much time does it really take you to shower? Probably less than 15 minutes. You can do anything for 15 minutes, especially if it makes the day "a win". You don't have to make it every day either. Like pick 3 days a week or whatever. In time, it becomes a habit.
And now, I have to run and do up my dishes. It will take me so little time, that it is well worth it so as not to report a fail. Unless I am out of town, there is no valid excuse not to have 15 minutes. I do have the reward of when I get up and make my coffee in the morning, the sinks are clean and shiny..one of the first things I see upon waking. As far as bathing, I think it makes my bed feel so much better when I go to sleep.

What do you think?
 
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Outsider31

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2017
Messages
4
Hmmm I can well relate to your post. I have no idea why this happens and why depression freezes with personal care but it happens.
One thing that helps me a lot is trying to establish routines with or without directly involve personal care.
By lifting my interest towards some things it later on reflects on other aspects like a positive domino effect.

Maybe try just a mouthwash if you can and find some routines that can take you out of your hybernation. My dogs are my salvation as they push me to go out.

Look into what can be easier around the target before trying to hit it in the centre might help.
X
 
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