F
faeriedreams
Member
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2009
- Messages
- 6
I am having a particular bad day today. For a while now I have been in a relationship with a man that is esstential good. The problem is me. I don't know how to accept his love, I don't know how to let him in. But I don't allow anyone in. I finally told him I don't love him the way 2 people should love each other, and one sided love will never make the relationship work. I told him he shouldn't waste anymore time on me.
Why is that I have such a hard time with relationships. Not only intimate ones, but ones with friends also. It's as if I don't want to become emotionally attached to anyone. It's hard enough to give my children what they need, let alone anyone else.
I don't have a Dr.'s appt until next week, and I'm going to drive myself crazier before that appt. comes around. I'm tired of locking myself in my house after the kids leave for school, I don't answer the phone, and I keep shutting this man out. He says he understands my emotional issues, but is it fair to keep him in limbo with each mood I get? I don't think it is.
Today is just rough. I just broke down and cried, and feel I am having a pity party for myself, but life is hard right now. Even though I believe in God, and know the hardships must come to fulfill his purpose, I don't like how I feel today. I just want my mind to quit spinning.
Why is that I have such a hard time with relationships. Not only intimate ones, but ones with friends also. It's as if I don't want to become emotionally attached to anyone. It's hard enough to give my children what they need, let alone anyone else.
I don't have a Dr.'s appt until next week, and I'm going to drive myself crazier before that appt. comes around. I'm tired of locking myself in my house after the kids leave for school, I don't answer the phone, and I keep shutting this man out. He says he understands my emotional issues, but is it fair to keep him in limbo with each mood I get? I don't think it is.
Today is just rough. I just broke down and cried, and feel I am having a pity party for myself, but life is hard right now. Even though I believe in God, and know the hardships must come to fulfill his purpose, I don't like how I feel today. I just want my mind to quit spinning.